I just can't read all of that big long thread.
My newest baby was born 2 weeks ago tomorrow in a ridiculously fast homebirth, nearly UC'd, but instead of pushing the baby out, I panted and blew for more than half an hour with her crowning. This was probably a big mistake. When the midwife got there, my 11 lb 14 oz babe was born in 3 pushes. It was delightful and perfect as births go, but now I'm having some issues.
I didn't tear at all (shock!), but I do have a cystocele, about the size of a large grape, and now that I worked up the courage to further investigate in there, I find that my cervix is pretty low, too. I don't know if it's too soon to worry about a uterine prolapse, I know I need to take a deep breath and realize that I'm still very freshly postpartum, but I have this overwhelming feeling of having ruined my body.
I'm a paramedic, and I really don't want to have to quit doing my job forever (I already don't work at all when I'm pg or nursing, which has been the majority of the past 6 years). I *need* to be able to do heavy lifting. I don't want to be all washed up and done with life at 30. Maybe I'm just hormonal about this stuff right now, but it all seems so dramatic and overwhelming.
Also, and this is completely TMI, but that's where I am right now: am I going to be able to have sex? I would have already if it weren't for these issues, but I'm nervous and don't want to further ruin things down below.
I have an appointment with my midwife later this week, and I'm sure we'll talk about all of these things, but I'm impatient. I need to decide whether to go to the MW's backup doctor, my former OB, or to seek out a uro-gyn for whenever it *is* time to deal with this stuff.
Meanwhile I wait and stew on things. Thank you for any insight you might have for me.
Dana, wife to Marc, mama to Amanda - 12/5/02, Bethany - 6/2/04, Christina - 3/17/06, Daniel - 5/7/07 and Elizabeth 6/1/09.