Fear of never going into labor - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 06-17-2009, 02:52 PM - Thread Starter
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I have a FEAR, maybe it's irrational, but I need to get through it.

When I was pregnant with Abrielle I was dialated to 2 CM before I went into labor, I still did not trust my body to go into labor spontaneously. I felt it would just NOT happen. Maybe because I am surrounded by inductions. I had my membranes stripped and went into labor, my labor was inneffective and I transferred from my planned HB to the hospita l where I needed augmentation. I was in labor for 41 hours and she was born on her due date.

This pregnancy (I am 33 weeks) and I am barely a fingertip dialated. WHAT IF I DON"T GO INTO LABOR????? I fear this, A LOT. This time I will not allow myself to have a manual start to labor before I am past due. I also fear going past 41 weeks. I know pregnancy can last 42 weeks and that is term, but I just am scared. I plan on drinking RRL tea and having lots of sex and all that, but I do not want to have my labor artificially started. I am a natural birth advocate, I am a doula and am planning on becomming a midwife, I have NO FAITH IN MY BODY. Other women, I believe they can, me, not so much.. WHY.... Can anyone help me?
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#2 of 6 Old 06-17-2009, 03:04 PM
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Originally Posted by NaturalMindedMomma View Post
This pregnancy (I am 33 weeks) and I am barely a fingertip dialated. WHAT IF I DON"T GO INTO LABOR?????
I honestly don't know what to say, but keep in mind that all women follow different patterns. When I was pregnant with ds1, I went for prenatal checkup on a Wednesday - I was 38w, 3d. My doctor did a VE. I wasn't dilating - not at all.

I got a backache from hell on Thursday evening, and couldn't sleep. After several hours of the backache, I realized I was bleeding. I'd gone into labour just before bedtime, but hadn't recognized it, because it was very atypical (basically, the back pain was masking any actual feeling of contractions). I checked into the hospital on Friday evening, and I was 8cm. dilated...I had a contraction while a resident was doing a VE, and I was 10cm during the contraction.

They did a crash section, because my baby was breech, and I was in transition as they transferred me to the OR table. (I was at the hospital about an hour before ds1 arrived.)

My c-section, done at 10cm, was performed just over 48 hours after my doctor's appointment...so I went from nothing to fully dilated in that time.

Try not to let it get to you. I know how hard it is to have fears about birth, but there is no reason to think that you can't go into labour. You're farther along at 33 weeks than I was at almost 39!!

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

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#3 of 6 Old 06-17-2009, 03:49 PM
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I totally hear you. I was in prodromal labor for WEEKS and I was convinced that I would NEVER EVER GO INTO LABOR. I ended up being induced at 38w1d after I lost my mucous plug for severe polyhydramnios.

I know that with my next pregnancy, I'm going to have to take lots of deep breaths and remind myself a LOT that every pregnant woman will go into labor. Eventually. And instruct everyone around me to tell me to chill out. *hugs* Hang in there!

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#4 of 6 Old 06-19-2009, 11:17 PM
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I didn't dilate at all until the day my water broke despite having lots of prodromal labor. Once things got started though I progressed at a normal rate, despite my doctor telling me in his office that my cervix was lousy. This is when he was pushing me into an induction.
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#5 of 6 Old 07-11-2009, 11:42 PM
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You fear what you don't know.

After this baby is born, you will breathe a sigh of relief and your fear will no longer haunt you. It's because you haven't experienced your body going into labor on its own that you question it.

Experiencing spontanous labor and natural birth is the remedy. Hang on to your hope and surround yourself with the stories of women (here, online, in books, etc) and how they each went into labor and know that your body is not any different than their (womens') bodies. Be aware of the wide variety of ways womens' bodies show signs of being ready for birth and know that while your body's way of being ready for labor may not look exactly like someone else's, you nevertheless are able to labor and give birth.

You are designed to go into labor. Have you tried visualizations and positive affirmations? That is helpful for many women in overcoming "stuck" thinking and fears prior to labor. (This can help to avoid self-fulfiling prophecies; if you think you can't do it, your body may believe you!)

Also, may I suggest considering foregoing any more internal checks prior to active labor. They are not necessary, unless there is a problem, and there is no telling when the labor will start even if your cervix is dilated 3 or 4 cm. Some women stay that dilated for weeks until their labors actually begin, so it's not really an accurate indicator of your body's readiness. Having a supportive care provider is important to help you achieve what you want. How's that going for you?

Mama to DS (10), DS (8), DS (5), DD (3), & DD (6 months).
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#6 of 6 Old 07-19-2009, 03:25 PM
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I was so terrified with my most recent baby that I would never go into labor, I cannot tell you. My partner was also adamant that I would not and could not go into labor on my own. We were both traumatised by the birth of our DD 2 years ago. I had slightly miscalculated the due date and I was about a week under-due when we thought she should be born (due date). We tried everything to start labor, including many very unpleasant things, but the only thing that happened was that my water broke and no labor for 2 days. I unwillingly went to the hospital and underwent a Pit induction and subsequent infection (brought on by the hospital staff's fingers). It was HELL. I wished for death during labor and had severe PTSD for over a year.

With our son, I was late, 2 weeks late, and the due date was calculated exactly as I knew the date of conception almost to the hour. You should have seen the stress building and building. At 1.75 weeks late my partner sent me for a massage, and I finally felt a little crampy that evening. I did the next evening too, after a walk around the mall. Then one day before our HB midwife had to relinquish care, I went into labor and baby was born 35 minutes before midnight. 10 hours of labor, from 0-10 in that time.

I had vowed that after last time I would listen to my body, and I did. And it worked out. It was beautiful. And it almost didn't happen, my partner wanted very much for me to check into the hospital and be induced, because the baby was measuring SO big. (he was 11lbs, 6oz).

Please try to have faith. Your body and your baby know what they are doing. Listen closely. Very best wishes...
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