I feel like I could have written your post, except the details are different. My blood pressure went up at the end of my pregnancy and threatened my homebirth plan (I too am seriously afraid of hospitals, the mention of a hospital birth affected me like a cancer diagnosis would have, well, almost as badly). So my anxiety was up, then I was GBS positive and my fear of antibiotics is pretty high, too. I ended up obsessing about the BP (taking it with a home cuff every hour and flipping out before I even saw the number, which was, of course, high.) Managed to keep my BP down during labor with a trick my doula knew, but my labor was fast and hard and I had no time to process it--it happened from 10pm-5am so no sleep (I'm a mess without sleep, more than most people). Then I was desperate to push (could not stop for the world) before I was totally dilated, so my MW reached in and opened me manually during each contraction (OUCH!!!), then after the birth, I had a tear the midwife sewed up, but she "lost" the gauze and had to go routing around for an hour (!!!!!) to find it. I bled a good bit (not as much as you, bless you!)
After all this, my blood pressure went through the roof (160/120 or even higher once or twice). I ended up with pretty severe postpartum anxiety for about 3 weeks (afraid to go to sleep, thought I was going to die) and was so afraid of having to go to the hospital and leave my newborn that I, again, couldn't go to sleep.
When I talk about my experience (or write about it) I also feel like I shouldn't be complaining, as my DS was the picture of health and I ended up being just fine, with no medial intervention (cranio-sacral and acupuncture did wonders for the anxiety--and, I believe, for the BP as a byproduct of bringing the anxiety down). But the truth is you and I absolutely experienced birth trauma, and I believe it is serious and very real.
I am very afraid to get pregnant again. Its pretty much debilitating (meaning I refuse to at this point--ds is 26 months) It has not gotten better, it has gotten worse.
So, I am planning to find a therapist or counselor soon, and will also do cranio-sacral and acupuncture throughout any future pregnancies to help with the anxiety.
I wish you luck!!! I wonder if a counselor or therapist might help you, too?