Am I crazy ... seriously? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 01-21-2010, 01:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Shades of Blue, support and resources for postpartum mood disorders. You are not alone.
Mommy to J (5) and S (03/2009) . Hoping for a .... in 2010?
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#2 of 4 Old 01-22-2010, 01:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Shades of Blue, support and resources for postpartum mood disorders. You are not alone.
Mommy to J (5) and S (03/2009) . Hoping for a .... in 2010?
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#3 of 4 Old 01-22-2010, 01:55 PM
 
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No, you're not crazy. But feelings that strong come from somewhere. Is part of you hoping to "re-do" the bad experience? Maybe there is something you're trying to process by holding on to it. Are you still seeing a counselor?
The paternalistic attitude would make me mad too, but maybe your DP is seeing something you don't. It sounds like you've got a lot to work through before you make a big decision like this one. I would have a hard time trusting someone I saw as a friend who walked away from me in a dangerous situation like PTSD/PPD. Of course, it's not her job to fix it, but she didn't try to move sun and earth to get you connected to help.
Will your MW talk to you about it? Maybe trying to discuss the issue with her will help you find your answer.

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#4 of 4 Old 01-23-2010, 01:20 PM
 
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I don't think you're crazy... but I do have trouble understanding how you'd want a MW that avoided you when you needed her most. I would have trouble trusting that person again. I do think in the end though, it's about what you feel most comfortable with. However, I also think it's important that you take your DP's wishes into consideration as well as get some closure & explanation from your MW as to why she abandoned you.

I agree with the pp too that you may want to consider whether you're trying to get a redo. For quite a while after my son's birth I wanted BADLY to have another one right away. I wanted the same OB and the same hospital but I wanted everything to go RIGHT the second time around. I have more recently come to realize that while yes, I do want another baby in the near future, a lot of my urgency & strong feelings was coming from wanting to redo & therefore undo the trauma of DS's birth. I finally realized that no matter how many kids I have and where I give birth & who attends and whether those births go well or badly, I will never get to "fix" DS's birth. I will never get to give him & myself the experience I had hoped for & dreamed of & so badly wanted for us both. That was at once both a terrifyingly dismal but incredibly freeing realization.

May or may not be the case for you, just something I'm throwing out there for you to consider.

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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