3rd Degree Tear, bad repair, have to go get it fixed - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-28-2010, 08:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So a little background...I tried to have a homebirth with my son who is almost 6 mos old now but ended up transferring because of horrendously painful back labor. My midwife also thought that there might be something unusual because at 9 cm dilated, the baby started moving back up into my pelvis. At home, I had a crockpot of ginger water and olive oil all ready for compresses and massage. At the hospital, I never got the urge to push so just pushed with contractions when told. The result of this was a 3rd degree tear.

Fast forward to the present...my tear was repaired or healed so that I have pretty much no opening to my vagina anymore. It basically looks like they started sewing at the bottom of my perineum and didn't stop until they got within an inch of my clitoral hood. Needless to say, I'm upset about this. DH and I haven't DTD since July because there's no conceivable way we can do it. I am scheduled to have what the docs are calling an "episiotomy revision" on March 5 but am feeling ambivalent about the whole thing. I don't want to be put under, I don't want to be separated from my DS for the surgery, I'm scared they are going to screw something up and things will be even worse...I'm just scared.

Has anyone else dealt with this? How? I would like to be able to DTD with DH again but the path to get there seems so long and scary. I'm grateful every day for my son, for my natural childbirth, for not having bladder/bowel issues because of the tear but I don't really want anyone messing with the area again.

Any help, Mamas?

Maria blahblah.gif, wife to A malesling.GIF, mama to DS M 8/09 2whistle.gif and DS L 6/12 biggrinbounce.gif

 

Everything will be ok in the end.  If it's not ok, then it's not the end - Paolo Coelho  

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Old 01-29-2010, 01:25 PM
 
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So sorry you are having to deal with this, mama....I'm sure it's hard on you in so many ways.

I have seen repairs like yours as you describe it. And yes, it can wreak havoc on a woman's sex life and emotional life!

All I can say is that a repair is most likely the best thing you can do for yourself. It totally sucks that your original repair was done so poorly, but know at least that you can be repaired. And for all that it is surgery, do you really have to be put under for it? I would think that a local would do. And I would think that it would be a fairly simple thing...well, not knowing exactly the extent, not having an actual picture of your yoni, perhaps I shouldn't say that. But it seems quite possible that your repair can be simple and fairly straightforward. Not sure what you've had by way of medical opinions--but you might want to get more than one opinion, so as to make the best choice.

Just know that your feelings about this are quite understandable! And also that even though you shouldn't have been forced to need a repair, many women do have successful repairs in your type of situation.

Be good to you, learn what you can, make strong choices so that you can heal and put this behind you.
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Old 01-29-2010, 02:03 PM
 
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I'm so sorry this is happening to you. That is incredibly frustrating. The only suggestion I have is to get a second opinion from a urogynecologist. If I were you, I wouldn't want an ordinary ob doing this sort of repair. Shop around and find a really, really good urogyn. I'm generalizing here, but IME obs sort of think of us as baby factories, not necessarily sexual beings. I had a poorly repaired third degree tear as well. I've had bad luck with obgyns thinking that my complaints are all in my head. I finally went to a urogyn who immediately knew what was wrong and helped me find treatment. My only complaint is that they told me I should have a elective c-section next time. I'm not going to do that, but all their other advice was spot on. Good luck!

Wife to amazing dh, mama to dd 12/08
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