Hi. I have the same feelings about my son's birth. I keep telling myself that the next birth, even if it ends up in another unwanted c-section, that it could be better because I'm more aware and educated, and most importantly, I've had my ideallic notions of birth utterly destroyed.
Will it be better? Will it be worse? I don't know. It will be different, that's about all I know.
I don't know how to tell you to accept your son's birth. It's a matter of necessity in the end, I suppose -- you have no chance to change it, therefore you must find some way to accept. Some things that helped me were getting whatever answers and explanations I could find, this involved talking to everyone involved in my labor -- my partner, my doula, and my midwife. I also talked to a therapist who was knowledgable in birth trauma which did provide some help. I've talked to my son, as hokey as that may sound, he's only 10 months, but at times when we were alone, usually nursing, I would tell him about what I wanted for our birth experience and apologize for not being able to provide it. More often than not, he's pulled off my breast during these conversations and really looked at me.
A combination of the above and getting some time and distance from the delivery did help. I'm quickly approaching my son's first birthday and experiencing a bit of a relapse, but I think that's to be expected. I don't know how far you are from your son's birth, but time does help, although I don't ever expect the pain of what we lost to disappear.