Need to find peace w/ upcoming c-section - Mothering Forums
Healing Birth Trauma > Need to find peace w/ upcoming c-section
klocke's Avatar klocke 12:48 AM 04-17-2010
I am about 2-3 weeks away from my first c-section. I have had 3 previous vaginal deliveries (including home birth) and have always seen the option of a c-section being worst case scenario, excluding anything happening to the baby of course. Now that it is my only option I am having a really hard time coming to terms with it.

Brief background of my situation:
I found out I was pregnant in Sept. 09 and began seeing the midwife who was with me for the home birth of my previous baby. At 9 weeks I had an u/s which showed one healthy growing baby. Went along in the pregnancy seeing midwife expecting another uneventful home birth. At 20 weeks had a routine u/s for development and realized I was actually carrying twins! My midwife didn't feel comfortable delivering twins so I began searching for a new health care provider. After a 2 weeks of looking I realized I was going to have to go with an OB. So started calling and finally found one who would see me at that point in pregnancy. At the first apt. she said she did automatic c-sections at 36 weeks. So I never went back to her, LOL. Found another OB who said he'd let me try for vaginal as long as baby A was head down. So started seeing him and he was a flake. He canceled half of the apts. and had a hard time finding the babies heartbeats at every apt. I had several u/s that showed Baby A breech and Baby B transverse so he said we were scheduling a c-section at 37 weeks. That along with his canceling and seeming to know less about birth than me I changed OBs again this week to one refereed to me by my midwife. So he is a much better Dr. and I felt very at ease with him but he is also saying we are going to have to do a c-section. Today at my apt. both babies were transverse and that is not a vaginally deliverable option. He is willing to wait until 38 weeks unless I go into labor on my own which is better I guess.

I'm just having hard time with this. I feel stupid being so upset about a c-section since 1/3 of women have them these days but it is really bothering me, like I have failed. Not to mention I am going to have 3 other children to attend to and my DH is only going to get a few days off work so recovery is going to be hard. I'm worried about nursing after the c-section and even about dying during! I've never had any surgery or even been admitted to the hospital so this is completely out of my range of normal. How do I come to peace with something that is going to have to happen? I have chosen a great hospital that actually has midwifes on staff so I know that the nurses should be a little more helpful toward nursing and recovery but still. My DH has come to me and expressed that he is concerned that I am going to become depressed after the delivery since I am not at peace going into it. Don't know what to say to him because I am already pretty upset about it and it hasn't happen yet. Has anybody felt better about after it was said and done?

octobermoon's Avatar octobermoon 11:47 PM 04-18-2010
s i'm sorry. i can only imagine how hard this must be! especially since there isn't anything wrong really. i don't know what else to say but i wanted to offer at least something. i hope everything goes smoothly for you and that you may be at peace with all of this.
Beccadoula's Avatar Beccadoula 09:34 PM 04-19-2010
Have you contacted spinningbabies? They have techniques for moving a single baby - they might have suggestions for moving twins too! http://spinningbabies.simplwebsite.com/

You might want to see if a webster technique done by a qualified chiropractor would do any good? That can be quite effective!

If you check those out and still have to have a cesarean...at least you'll know you tried everything out there! I'm so sorry you can't find a midwife who will do it!!! I recommend you find a pp doula if you can - that will help reduce fatigue and pp blues....

-R
tinybutterfly's Avatar tinybutterfly 09:49 PM 04-19-2010
I agree about trying to turn the babies and if that doesn't work, at least you tried.

My first son was born by c-section. My second was born VBAC.

I did fine. Ds#1 was fine and IS fine. It was uncomfortable to nurse at first and I had to figure out how to position him, but they gave me a little pillow to help with that.

I had never been hospitalized, had never had real surgery ( I had had my wisdom teeth removed, but that is not the same kind of thing...) and I was very scared.

Everyone was very kind, very competent and we even found our pediatrician during the delivery.

The worst thing I can say is I came at shift change, there were a lot of people in and out of my room for awhile, there were several women delivering that night, so I did not have a nurse right with me much of the time, just dh and me.

The food was awful.

Recovery was slow and painful, but so was the recovery from my VBAC. I think some women have easier recoveries than others.

(((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))

If you like your doctor, if you trust your doctor, if you will have people with you who are supportive, all those things will help make it a more positive experience.

You are not a failure. These things happen. We can't always exert the kind of control we would like over every circumstance and sometimes it's better to make peace with that, focus on the positives and carry on.

Feel free to PM me if you'd like.
luchadora13's Avatar luchadora13 10:08 PM 04-19-2010
{{{hug}}} Have you tried any of the hypno techniques before? I started a very abbreviated version of hypnobirthing 2-3 weeks before I went into labor, and it really helped a lot. I believe it really helped me to feel joyful even as things were going wrong. I also feel like it helped in my recovery.

Do you have a c/s birth plan? I didn't have one at the time, but the OB said I could bring my music into the operating room. When I get sad about the c/s, I think about my DS being born to John Coltrane's "Love Supreme."

Also, I had no problem breastfeeding. It didn't really hurt me at all to feed him (getting getting up and down to get DS was more difficult for the first few days). I just wish I had a chance to nurse right after DS's birth, before he was carried off. I just thank the heavens for the nurse who brought him to me in recovery, even as the other nurse was telling her we could "just wait" until I was in my room.
AustinMom's Avatar AustinMom 01:16 AM 04-20-2010
I can see how this is such a HUGE downer for you. I'd try turning babies, IMO, it's a good sign that baby A moved from breech to transverse, maybe he/she is trying to turn to head down? YES, see a chiropractor for the Webster Technique, it basically helps open your pelvis as much as possible so babies can get in their best positions.

A postpartum Doula is a great idea, also a Birth Doula will be beneficial too, to help support you through the admittance, birth, and stay in hospital. It's good to have someone there who is trained to help a mom understand what she is feeling, validate it and help her work through it.

With my first, he was a CS, and they didn't do the routine nursery thing, maybe you can ask for studies, research and reasoning from the hospital, other wise refuse to be separated.

Breastfeeding was difficult for us, because we had never done it, didn't know what we were doing, and had a lot of nurses who didn't know what they were doing. Since this is a subsequent baby, I wouldn't worry so much about that. I DO know you loose much more blood with a CS than with a vaginal birth, so make sure you stay hydrated, and maybe drink a mother's milk tea too in the hospital.

Have hubby get you food from else where instead of hospital food, as it's yucky, and usually not conducive to recovery after major surgery or birth.

Yes, I'd push for waiting till labor starts on it's own. There is no "risk" in that to the babies or you, and it's only better for the three of you. If your Dr. is adamant about scheduling, again, ask for reasoning, research, and studies that support this. It's a procedure you can refuse. They aren't going to come to your house with a scalpel. I think it's great that the Dr. is willing to wait for labor before deciding to CS or vaginal birth, but at the end, it's you choice.

Much LOVE!
Gray's Mommy's Avatar Gray's Mommy 04:11 PM 04-26-2010
Umm, so both your babies are transverse currently??

Personally, I would do everything I could to get one to turn & go from there. If one of your babies is in an optimal fetal position for birth, and preferrably the one that will come out first, it should lead the way for the second baby to turn & come out head first.
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