Join Date: Feb 2010
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Happy , delayed/selective vaxxing, WOHM to DD1 4/10 , DD2 8/12 and partner/wife for thirteen years to SAHD DH.
|1. Why was my labor so long and unproductive, while also being so incredibly intense? Did it really have anything to do with the coupling?
I don't know. Maybe your baby needed a long labor to get ready for life outside of the womb, and maybe your baby was in a weird position.
2. Why did my midwives need to check me so frequently when I made it clear that it caused me a tremendous amount of discomfort?
They were probably hoping that you had "progressed" cervical checks are usually not necessary, unless you are thinking about induction/augmentation or if a c-section is being talked about(don't want to section for fetal distress if you're 10cm 100%effaced!) They should have listened to you though.
3. When I was clearly in transition and saying I couldn't do it any more, would it have helped if my midwife had just given me some more encouragement? Could I have possibly had my birth center birth after all?
When I was in transition, thats what I needed(encouragement), and will keep that in mind for next time.
I don't know if you would have been able to have your birth center birth or not.
4. Once I got to the hospital and was completely dilated, what would have happened if I had just pushed then? Would it really have caused my cervix to swell to badly as to preclude a vaginal birth? If I had pushed at that point, could I have had a med free birth?
I would think that it could have caused swelling to the point of a necessary C. But i'm not a medical professional(though thats probably what they would tell you)
If you were my client(and I've had a client before like this, who got an epidural at 10cm) I would tell you(meanwhile, whole-heartedly believing it) that an epidural was a good choice for you, because it helped you relax. Maybe you could have found something else to help you relax, some herb or something(I don't know my herbs very well) it sounds like it was a very long and difficult labor, and i'm sure you needed to rest a bit!
5. Once I had the epidural, was it possible to deliver in any way other than on my back?
yes, but in which position depends on your personal circumstances. You may have been able to deliver in a squat if you had enough control of your legs(and perhaps the assistance of a squat bar or a DH or doula or nurse or friend or whoever) and you may have been able to deliver in hands and knees. you probably would have been able to deliver laying on your side, or at least in a semi sitting position(still on your back)
6. When I was pushing, why oh why did anyone's hands need to be on my cervix?
Because the student midwife was a UAV. (it didn't)
7. Why did I tear so badly, and is there something anyone could have done to prevent it? The midwives used oil, but not much else, except telling me to stop pushing, which I did, but my uterus had other ideas.
maybe because of the position you were in, or because the midwife's hand was in your vagina, or maybe they were pulling on it(i.e. massage) or maybe you were dehydrated, or maybe you were overhydrated, or maybe thats just the way your skin is down there, or maybe thats how your baby was. epidurals can also make tearing more likely, but i'm not sure if its due to the medication or due to the iv fluid.