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I think that the best birth for *any* woman is the one that she can feel confident about, and in control of. I could absolutely see myself feeling like a c-section was the safest course of action after a shoulder dystocia that severe. I don't think you are crazy or wrong, and I think that you should absolutely be able to find a medical provider willing to go the elective c-section route with you after an experience that traumatic and dangerous.
You've been through a lot, mom. Wanting to avoid that experience again is an absolutely normal response.
I agree--of course this possibility is now pretty scary to you! Of course it will take some time to recover from the shock/fear, and be able to consider a next birth calmly. Give yourself time to heal emotionally--which I'm guessing will occur as your baby heals physically from his injury, and just more time passing since that birth.
And know that SD is often preventable, with the right birth care. Your birth, with induction and no doubt fatigue and worry prompted by the induction attempts, seems to have been somewhat medically pushed toward various scary outcomes. I'm just so glad that it was 'only SD' (which is very relative, I know--NOT meaning to minimize your experience/feelings--I just know even scarier possibilities, KWIM?). Anyway, various things aspects of birth care can maximize the possibility of SD, and other things can minimize that risk. There are also different ways to manage SD if it does occur--differences in approach really can make all the difference in how it goes. There is time to heal, first...and then in time, to look into SD more deeply as you consider how to best approach future births.
Also--while your mention of future csec is totally understandable--totally!--know that csec carries it's own risks, we just cannot eliminate risk from birth, only substitute certain risks for others. One of the risks of csec is fairly dependent on how many kids you hope to have: if only 1 more, then maybe that is a choice you can make, feeling comfortable that the risks are well worth it. But since the risks of future pregnancies rise after csec, and the risks to moms and babies both rise with each subsequent csec (and w/each new pregnancy following multiple csecs), then this is something to review carefully before deciding.
I'm so sorry your birth was so scary, and that you are still dealing with your baby's injury and your own upset in the wake of his birth...I know that is hard. Just know that you will heal, just as your baby will heal--and that you have time to learn more, and make wise decisions for the future when you are ready for that.
Thank you for your kind response MsBlack. You are someone I respect on MDC a lot, you know your stuff for sure!I definitely consider my situation very rare & I hope that all mothers who face this kind of dilemma weigh all of ther options & pay attention to their intuition as well.
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