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Writing a letter to your care provider

911 views 2 replies 3 participants last post by  PuppyPanties 
#1 ·
I spoke with a person who is doing a study about birth trauma & online support. It was a lovely conversation and lasted almost an hour.

It brought up many feelings that I thought I had jumped over & through. I ended up writing a letter to my care provider. I cried through most of it-but I feel better. I don't feel that I can actually mail the letter to her, but acknowledging my own feelings about my birthing experience makes me feel stronger. Like I am getting my voice back from my heart being broken a million times over.

I have alot of regrets and wish I could turn back time a bit. I wouldn't have lost my voice during his birth and I should have stood my ground more. The letter helped me see that I didn't do anything wrong and that my body isn't broken. It was laboring like it should have and trying to birth my son. I wasn't failing.

It just makes it nice to see my pain in writing. It is a different perspective I haven't seen before.
 
#2 ·
I'm glad to hear you had that opportunity...both to speak with someone in depth about your experience, and to write that letter. It sounds like healing stuff
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And yeah, healing takes time--12yrs later, I still find myself at times swamped by 'those feelings'. But I can say that it happens less and less as time passes, and is shorter-lived each time...I don't have to live there anymore!

I hope you'll consider sending your letter to your care provider. Either just 'as-is', or edited later, when you're up to it. Drs and midwives (and nurses and anasthesiologists...) need to hear this from us--to know how they affected us.
 
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