I spoke with a person who is doing a study about birth trauma & online support. It was a lovely conversation and lasted almost an hour.
It brought up many feelings that I thought I had jumped over & through. I ended up writing a letter to my care provider. I cried through most of it-but I feel better. I don't feel that I can actually mail the letter to her, but acknowledging my own feelings about my birthing experience makes me feel stronger. Like I am getting my voice back from my heart being broken a million times over.
I have alot of regrets and wish I could turn back time a bit. I wouldn't have lost my voice during his birth and I should have stood my ground more. The letter helped me see that I didn't do anything wrong and that my body isn't broken. It was laboring like it should have and trying to birth my son. I wasn't failing.
It just makes it nice to see my pain in writing. It is a different perspective I haven't seen before.
It brought up many feelings that I thought I had jumped over & through. I ended up writing a letter to my care provider. I cried through most of it-but I feel better. I don't feel that I can actually mail the letter to her, but acknowledging my own feelings about my birthing experience makes me feel stronger. Like I am getting my voice back from my heart being broken a million times over.
I have alot of regrets and wish I could turn back time a bit. I wouldn't have lost my voice during his birth and I should have stood my ground more. The letter helped me see that I didn't do anything wrong and that my body isn't broken. It was laboring like it should have and trying to birth my son. I wasn't failing.
It just makes it nice to see my pain in writing. It is a different perspective I haven't seen before.