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fear and anxiety increasing as my due date grows closer...

1K views 2 replies 2 participants last post by  A_Random_Phrase 
#1 ·
hi,

my son is now 2 years old and i'm 31 weeks pregnant. i had thought i was okay with going to the hospital again since i didnt really have a choice but i just recently found a midwife who is willing to come to our birth. she lives 2 hours away though and is going to end up charging me about 5,000 dollars which insurance won't cover... we don't have a whole lot of money and i'm a stay at home mom with my husband being in the military so its not like we can make that money up very quickly. a hospital birth would be completely covered but even though we found a decent group of midwives, they still do alot of the things i don't want done like cervical checks and pushing on your back as well as time limits for things like laboring and birthing the placenta. my midwife with the hospital said she understood my need to let the cord stop pulsing before clamping ect but said she would wait but not more than 20 minutes and its hospital policy to start pitocin if the placenta hasnt been delivered in i believe 30 minutes. thats just a little bit of what i am concerned about not to mention i want my son to be a part of this birth and hospital policy is no children while you're in labor and then its going to be flu season so he won't even be able to visit. we're still breastfeeding and cosleeping and he has never been away from me for more than 6 hours... so going to the hospital is a minimum of 24 hours after birth that i would have to be away from him. and i want to encapsule my placenta to help with ppd and i don't think they let you do that in our hospital.... and i want my baby right after she's born and my midwife says she needs to clean and suction her before i can hold her.... a lot of people think i'm just being silly since they don't see my first birth as being traumatic at all.... and that the hospital is the right way to go. so should i wipe out our savings for this or go the hospital route and just deal with it????????? sorry for the rambling but this is really weighing on me.
 
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#2 ·
so after meeting with the practice that does hospital births, the only ob there is not willing to be in a collabrative (sp?) relationship with the homebirth midwife which is needed in order for the homebirth to happen and they dont think anyone else in town will help either. oh and baby flipped to breech which i kinda already knew but was hoping i was wrong.... it's been such a wonderful day......
 
#3 ·
I just barely came across your post. I was going to ask if you'd thought about lurking in the UC forum, but you're pretty far along and it takes some getting used to (plus a lot of study and inner searching to see if it's right for you). Still, if the hospital doesn't feel right and you can't afford a nonhospital midwife, it wouldn't hurt to lurk in that forum to see what you think of the whole thing.

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/list/306
 
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