So let me start by saying that I have not had the c-section yet, but I'm 37 weeks with a breech baby and chances aren't looking good she's going to flip on her own (this is my first child and the placenta positioning may be keeping her from flipping). I was planning on doing an all natural birth but earlier this week, I fell and broke my tailbone so even if she does flip and I can have a vaginal birth, I will probably need pain killers because of the tailbone pain and inability to use many of the positions that help with pain during a natural delivery. Delivering a breech vaginally isn't an option-I'm seeing a midwife who delivers in a hospital and even if she were willing to try it, the hospital is not. I've done a lot of research into flipping breech babies but most of the exercises I can't do because of the broken tailbone.
So I've been researching c-sections so if it happens, I am not completely unprepared and I'm having such a hard time with it, especially since this is my first pregnancy so I don't have the assurance from experience that I will bond with and love my baby no matter how she arrives in the world. I never in a million years thought I'd get a c-section and I'm terrified, extremely sad, and I hate to say it even resentful of my child. All these emotions aren't helped by the fact that I'm in almost constant pain and unable to do much but lie in bed with the tailbone injury being so new. I know that this isn't technically "birth trauma" because it hasn't happened but what can I do to help myself accept that a csection may be inevitable and that it's not mine or my baby's fault? I feel so selfish because I know things could be a lot worse with a fall like the one I took and I'm worried that if my attitude doesn't change, I am going to wind up with an awful physical and emotional recovery. Thank you very much for any suggestions you can give me.
So I've been researching c-sections so if it happens, I am not completely unprepared and I'm having such a hard time with it, especially since this is my first pregnancy so I don't have the assurance from experience that I will bond with and love my baby no matter how she arrives in the world. I never in a million years thought I'd get a c-section and I'm terrified, extremely sad, and I hate to say it even resentful of my child. All these emotions aren't helped by the fact that I'm in almost constant pain and unable to do much but lie in bed with the tailbone injury being so new. I know that this isn't technically "birth trauma" because it hasn't happened but what can I do to help myself accept that a csection may be inevitable and that it's not mine or my baby's fault? I feel so selfish because I know things could be a lot worse with a fall like the one I took and I'm worried that if my attitude doesn't change, I am going to wind up with an awful physical and emotional recovery. Thank you very much for any suggestions you can give me.