My last birth was one of the worst experiences of my life. If you are interested in what happened I finally was able to write my story down a few months ago and you can find it here:
http://www.mommymadegreen.com/2011/01/my-premature-birth-experience.html and even more bothersome what I learned about how that birth was completely malpractice here: http://www.mommymadegreen.com/2011/07/why-it-matters.html
I am pregnant again and I had my 35 weeks appointment today. I find myself becoming more and more nervous as the day approaches. I feel I am doing everything right this time around. I have switched doctors and hired a doula, am giving birth in the hospital with the lowest c-section rate in the state (we don't have birth centers here), and am even planning a water birth. But i am worried how the trauma I experienced last time will effect this birth.
Those that have given birth again, did it go well? Did you feel that you achieved some level of healing? Any words of wisdom?
Emily, I just read ur story! :hugs it must have been so difficult! God bless ur little kids! I didn't have such a traumatic experience, I had 40 hours labor with ds1, which ended in the hospital, but the hospital staff was great! dd was born at home, but I actually did not like it much, so with ds2 I decided to make the homebirth really work. Looking for a midwife you really trust and like makes wonders! so we did search and found a midwife I liked, and ds2' birth at home was really healing. Could you look into homebirth?
Unfortunately we chose not to do a homebirth because if there was an emergency the two hospitals closest to us that we would transfer to have terrible reputations for the treatment of homebirth transfers as well as being natural childbirth friendly. I also have hemorrhaged after both my births and although the last birth we know it was obviously because of my highly medicated birth, we don't know why it happened the first time and it scares DH that it will happen again.
So we chose to go to a hospital that is just under an hour away due to it's super friendly natural childbirth reputation. Even when we went to visit the hospital the first time I was incredibly impressed with the layout and the staff. It didn't even feel like a hospital to me. So I am pretty confident with our decision. I also have several friends that have done the same thing and all have said that they are wonderful there.
I just worry how the trauma of my last birth will affect this birth? If I will be scared the whole time or if it will bring back emotions and feelings from the last time..
Dear Emily, as long as you are comfortable with the hospital you chose there is no need to worry. your second birth experience was premature baby, and now u r already over that, so please think positively and everything will be great. I guess the experience of birth is so intense that u won't be able to even think of ur previous ones. good luck!
I thought I would update this thread, I know it has been a long time, but I had a beautiful, healing water birth with my third. :) Here is my birth story: