Over 16 yrs later, upset over what "they" did to my son & want to share - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 03-15-2012, 07:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My youngest son is now 16, but I am hoping it's still Ok to share my story here. A lot of things weren't right with his hospital birth.  It took me a number of yrs to learn that probably---the hospital--the dr---they caused this.  And I have been SO upset about it & can't get over it.  Since I learned--became "educated"

Regarding pitocin, for example

 

Here's what happened:  My water broke at home.  We called the on-call dr (it was after hours so ours wasn't available).  The reason for calling was that:  there was a ton of blood.  It was a dark red in color (I think--it was a lot of years ago).  I remember I had one gush, and thinking that was it, but then the gushes of "water" kept coming & coming, so I got myself to the toilet and spent a good while there.  With my 1st son there hadn't been much water.  The dr. broke my water in the hosp. and I hadn't seen what color it's supposed to be.  So we called the dr to ask--is this normal-to have blood in the water?  He said yes and asked if the baby was moving.  I said yes to baby moving, but after I thought about it--I realized he had only moved once, much earlier in the day, and it had been a small, light movement.  So I started to feel worried about him.  But the dr. had said the blood was normal.

 

We went to the hospital right away, even though my contractions hadn't started yet, because, although the dr said it was fine, we were concerned. 

 

I got in a room. The nurse had told me right away that the dr was fine with my sleeping there all night (they didn't send me back home). Within a couple of hrs my contractions had started. I was handling the contractions fine.  They were painful, but much more do-able than with my 1st son (I'd had back labor with him--horrible).  So I was doing fine, laboring along.  The contractions weren't close together yet.  The nurse said I was going too slow and she said:  "I'm going to give you pitocin to speed up your labor"

 

But WHY did she DO that???  I am SO upset about that happening.  The dr had said that it was OK for me to be fast asleep--no labor at all!!  But (without even asking the dr) she gives me pitocin.  She did STATE that she was doing it.  But it wasn't a question to me, either. 

I wasn't informed (at that time) that pitocin increases the likelihood of fetal distress, because of decreasing oxygen to the baby (I can't remember the exact how of this but think it's becasue the harder contractions put more pressure on the cord or placenta, & the baby doesn't get the oxygen it needs)So guess what happens...soon after she does this...fetal distress.  So--they STOP all contractions.  Now everything is stopped.  And I wait for the C-section as soon as my dr arrives at 8 am to do it.

My baby had meconium--because of fetal distress--which was probably because of the pitocin...

My baby had a c-section too--because of fetal distress- which was probably because of the pitocin.

He was put in the NICU.  I couldn't hold him because they had to pump out his stomach from the meconium.  They let me see him as he was going past--they were taking him somewhere. He looked like a traumatized baby (emotionally distressed-that picture is still in my mind.I couldn't take him though).  I couldn't nurse him (he was rooting when I saw him going past me.)  They told me no--they had to get the meconium out of him first.

They also sent my husband off to give blood--he saw the baby for 10 minutes & then he was gone all day standing in line to give his blood for him-the baby was lethargic  So neither my husband or myself was with my baby the whole day (we couldn't protect him from anything)

Because of the meconium he swallowed (which is because he was in distress, which was because of the pitocin...), they gave him a strong antibiotic which could have made him deaf. (which wiped any good bacteria in his gut) It didn't make him deaf, fortunately--the antibiotic affected something in his ears becasue he could/can spin forever and not get dizzy. 

My son has been on the autism spectrum.  He also has dyslexia.  We did many interventions to help him and he's now functioning more normally, (aspergers type behavior).  He can read now--but couldn't "get" reading until after age 9, when we did a certain intervention.

 

Thanks for reading through this long story.  I can't get over what "they" did--starting with the dr saying the blood was OK--(I don't think it was)  I'm very, very upset about the nurse not even asking me about pitocin.

I don't KNOW he wouldn't have had fetal distress and all the subsequent things which happened for some other reason, but I do know (now--not back then) pitocin greatly increases the chances of it.

 

I'm totally afraid of the hospital to give birth in.  I'm too old now, anyway, but I feel afraid of "them".

This frightening birth (almost lost him a nurse or two hinted at that-the dr's never said) is probably the reason why my husband refused to let me have anymore children--so "they" affected that also.

If I was able and going to have another baby--I sure would search for a midwife --stay far, far away from hospitals as I feel they hurt my child.

I wanted to talk about this--he's 16 yrs old now, but as I've become informed, etc.,--I carry around an upset feeling about this that time doesn't erase.  It hurts to think about what they did. 

 

Thanks for listening.

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#2 of 4 Old 03-18-2012, 04:45 PM
 
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Thanks for sharing. Your birth story isn't so unlike mine. I understand your anger. It's so frustrating knowing there is nothing you can do. That a once in a life time important event was traumatizing due to the actions of people that were just "doing their job", is really hard to accept. They just have no idea how much their actions have the power to harm or heal. I planned for a homebirth which wasn't possible and I wanted to avoid the hospital for all the reasons you mentioned, and I just couldn't. Sigh.
I wish I had something constructive to say.

Thanks again for sharing.

Married to my favorite person (together since '01, married since '05), the hapa papa to my queeuty quapa DD, born 10/11.

We baby wear, co-sleep, cloth diaper, don't vax and intend to nurse for a good long time.  

I don't care what you do as long as it works for your family.

 

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#3 of 4 Old 04-18-2012, 02:42 PM
 
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Thank you for sharing your story.  It is important to share.  You are brave.  They should not have intervened with the birth process.  The sad truth is that so many hospitals did...do....

 

Your birth process and your son's birth process did not go the way you wanted, but they are also perfect.  Nothing..no medicine, nothing, will EVER change the past.  Telling your story is so important.  Making peace with the birth through story and creativity is so important.  You can't change your past.  I'm sorry for the pain this has caused you.  And, how inspiring to be sharing the story now, 16 years later.  I hope that you come to peace with this.  It will be healing for your entire family.  

 

Blessings,

 

Stacey

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#4 of 4 Old 06-04-2012, 05:35 PM
 
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I have a similar story. My doctor induced labor because Baby was overdue. I started the pitocin at 7 am. No labor, so they broke the water at 1pm and I started labor but then it went away so they turned up the pitocin. Shortly after I was getting contractions again and again it started going away. They jacked up the pitocin on the highest dose they believed I could handle. (I believe they turned it up way too high way too fast. My son was hooked up to the fetal monitor while in the birth canal. I was on the pitocin drip for 18 hours with no one even mentioning a c section. He was born 1:30 am and came out with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and he was blue. They never suctioned him. The placenta was delivered in 4 pieces and the doctor left quickly after.

 

It was about 2 hours after delivery that my husband notice our son was breathing short rapid breathes. There was no Doctor on sight and we repeatedly told the nurses that we felt there was something wrong. They all told us that newborns breathe irregularly and hes ok (they do but not like this) Finally the Doctor came to see us 10 hours after he was delivered and we urged her to please make sure theres nothing wrong with him. She listened to his lungs, picked him up, and rushed him out of the room. A nurse came in quickly and told us the dr just wants check him and she will be back to talk to us in 30 minutes. When the Doctor came to talk to us, she informed us that our son was being taken by ambulance to another hospital because they found something in his lungs. He was in the hospital for a week with an IV in his head giving him constant antibiotics.

 

He had inhaled meconium at birth and it sat for 10 hours inside of his lungs. He has battled several lung issues, he barely escaped a trecheotomy, has been on more medicines and steroid inhalers than I can count. He is 8 now. He missed 22 days of school last year due to his weak lungs. We are so lucky that he is with us today. I have heard similar stories that resulted in cerebal palsy, mental retardation, and death because of misused pitocin. My 2nd baby had to be induced as well. My new Dr tried a different method to induce and it was unsuccessful so he broke the water and I still wouldn't go into labor so he unfortunately had to start me on pitocin. I was hesitent but allowed it after explaining to him earlier what had happened to my first. He was very cautious and gradually raised the pitocin,  after trying to push for a while he said he wanted to give me a csection if I didn't deliver in the next 5 minutes. I got him out just in time. A healthy baby boy.

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