My first child was born on Valentine's Day 2010. Everything was going fine with labor. My midwife had me check in to the hospital at about 8:30pm and I labored in the tub through the night. At about 3:30am she checked me and said I was still at 9 cm (and had been for a long time). She recommended breaking my water to speed up that last little bit of labor. As soon as they broke my water, I jumped to 10 cm. I was then told to push...I believe she told me she just wanted to see what baby would do with that. I'm not sure what she felt or saw, but she then told me it was time to push.
This is my greatest regret looking back at that time. I didn't know any better. I didn't know that I should have felt an URGE to push, especially because I had absolutely no pain meds (not even an IV hooked up). Anyways, I laid on my back and I pushed for an hour before my beautiful 9 lb DS was born just before 5am. I asked the midwife if I had torn and she said I had a small first degree tear on my right side, but it was minor. As she began to stitch me up, I quickly asked for some type of pain meds as the stitching was very painful.
Within about 5 minutes, the midwife seemed a little concerned and went to get a Dr. The Dr (I'm guessing an OB) came in and looked at my tear and the amount of blood I had lost. She immediately said she needed me to be taken to an operating room and to be assessed for a possible blood transfusion. My midwife held her hand firmly against the right side of my vagina as they wheeled me to the operating room. Luckily, they had gotten an IV hooked up at some point and I went unconscious.
When I woke up 2 and a half hours later, I had just gotten out of surgery and was able to see DS again. Apparently, my tear was only a first degree tear, but it went up to my cervix, which the midwife had not seen until she started stitching it up.
I was cleared to be sent home 24 hours later with absolutely no pain meds. Tylonel and Advil took the edge off, but I was constantly very uncomfortable. I was cleared at my 6 week appointment, even though I expressed that it still hurt. My midwife said I had torn pretty bad, so it was just taking more time to heal. I called many times over the next 6 months due to pain, my inability to have sex, and HORRIBLE breastfeeding issues. I could tell my midwives were starting to get annoyed with me. They said my scarring felt "spider-web like" but that it all seemed to be healed up.
They finally recommended physical therapy. I was apprehensive, but went. The PT also told me my scar felt like a spider web, but offered no plan for helping with the pain. Because I had to pay for it out-of-pocket and she didn't tell me anything that she would be able to do for me, I did not go back.
Four and a half years later, I still have pain on my right side...every time I wear a tampon, every time I have sex without using a lubricant (sorry-TMI), every time it gets touched. I delivered a baby girl exactly two years later and it went smoothly. I knowingly waited to push until she was just determined to make an appearance. She was born in just 3 pushes and no tears (of course, she was only 7 lbs). My right side was very sore after that birth, but nothing too major.
I don't know what's wrong. No one else can tell me what's wrong. Is this just something I have to deal with forever? Has anyone else had this type of scarring/pain? Have you found a solution? My muscles seem to be in good working order (at least when they tell me to "squeeze" at my appointments, they say I still have great muscle control down there). I just want to get rid of the pain. I just want to do normal things without pain...like wear a tampon for goodness sakes! I just found out I'm expecting #3
and I'm so nervous about the delivery. What if it's another big baby? Will it make this all worse for the rest of my life?
Any similar experiences or advice would be appreciated. I just don't know what it is or what to do about it. Sorry for the novel :\ Thanks!!