warning: TMI for sensitive readers.
Topics: difficult labour, birth trauma, post-birth surgery, vaginal injury
. No baby injury or illness.
So I had a really bad birth last time. I decided to go natural, no drugs, and felt that I had the odds on my side. I did my part; went drug-free, and I expected a 'normal' birth with a 'normal' recovery "in return".
I had prodromal labour, labour that got active at night and baby born at 8am after having no sleep, tearing and awful bruising, PPH, loss of consciousness, intrauterine infection, D&C, IV antibiotics post-birth without baby being allowed to visit. During the D&C, the OB/GYN accidentally cut my vagina to the extent of needing several stitches to repair.
I've tried to forget these awful times, and had done a reasonable of it, until I realized that my urine is not coming from my urethra. I thought I'd noticed before, but thought I was crazy. Until I read about vaginal fistulas (82% of which are caused by gynecological surgery including D&C). They only happen in 0.01 to 0.04% of all gynecological surgeries, and most of those are from hysterectomies. So, my urine is 'leaking' into my vagina. I have a doctor's appointment today which will most likely lead to a referal and invasive testing and surgical repair.
I feel so betrayed and angry. I did everything "right" and feel like I've been punished and it's not fair.
I recognize the impact this could have on my upcoming birth (and the stuff I'm feeling now while I go through this), and so I made an appointment to see a counselor who specializes in birth trauma. I see her next Monday for our first appointment. It's $140/hr, but I really need to sort this out to be prepared for my next birth.
I'm also anxious about what to do if this was in fact caused by the OB/GYN. If it can be practically proven, I think I would pursue action for compensation. There is the emotional stuff but also risks to myself and the baby if I have to have a surgical repair (which seems very likely). If I don't have it repaired, what might happen during a vaginal delivery? It's basically a hole or tear in my vaginal wall; I am thinking that passing a baby might cause some serious problems.
Thank you for letting me vent on here. I needed to get it out. I'm seeing the doctor in a bit, but like I said I figure it will be a matter of waiting for a referral and worrying in the meantime (about the tests, the diagnosis, the prognosis, the everything).