Past birth trauma rearing its ugly head - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 02-05-2007, 04:03 PM - Thread Starter
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warning: TMI for sensitive readers.
Topics: difficult labour, birth trauma, post-birth surgery, vaginal injury. No baby injury or illness.

So I had a really bad birth last time. I decided to go natural, no drugs, and felt that I had the odds on my side. I did my part; went drug-free, and I expected a 'normal' birth with a 'normal' recovery "in return".
I had prodromal labour, labour that got active at night and baby born at 8am after having no sleep, tearing and awful bruising, PPH, loss of consciousness, intrauterine infection, D&C, IV antibiotics post-birth without baby being allowed to visit. During the D&C, the OB/GYN accidentally cut my vagina to the extent of needing several stitches to repair.

I've tried to forget these awful times, and had done a reasonable of it, until I realized that my urine is not coming from my urethra. I thought I'd noticed before, but thought I was crazy. Until I read about vaginal fistulas (82% of which are caused by gynecological surgery including D&C). They only happen in 0.01 to 0.04% of all gynecological surgeries, and most of those are from hysterectomies. So, my urine is 'leaking' into my vagina. I have a doctor's appointment today which will most likely lead to a referal and invasive testing and surgical repair.

I feel so betrayed and angry. I did everything "right" and feel like I've been punished and it's not fair.

I recognize the impact this could have on my upcoming birth (and the stuff I'm feeling now while I go through this), and so I made an appointment to see a counselor who specializes in birth trauma. I see her next Monday for our first appointment. It's $140/hr, but I really need to sort this out to be prepared for my next birth.

I'm also anxious about what to do if this was in fact caused by the OB/GYN. If it can be practically proven, I think I would pursue action for compensation. There is the emotional stuff but also risks to myself and the baby if I have to have a surgical repair (which seems very likely). If I don't have it repaired, what might happen during a vaginal delivery? It's basically a hole or tear in my vaginal wall; I am thinking that passing a baby might cause some serious problems.

Thank you for letting me vent on here. I needed to get it out. I'm seeing the doctor in a bit, but like I said I figure it will be a matter of waiting for a referral and worrying in the meantime (about the tests, the diagnosis, the prognosis, the everything).


4 kids under 10
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#2 of 4 Old 02-05-2007, 06:08 PM
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I will keep my fingers crossed that you get good news from the doctor s:
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#3 of 4 Old 02-05-2007, 06:41 PM
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i had a vesicovaginal fistula after dd's birth (homebirth turned hospital birth), caused (imo) by the incompetent resident who didn't use the forceps properly. i was completely incontinent and had urine leaking from my vagina constantly. i had a catheter put in for a total of 9 weeks in order to see if the preferential drainage would allow the hole to heal. it didn't completely close up so i had to have surgery at 3.5 months postpartum to stitch it closed. the surgery went well, i had to have 2 catheters (a suprapubic and a foley) in for another 3 weeks but i have had no leakage since.

the urogynecologist that did the surgery told me that she wanted me to have c-sections for any subsequent births, but the surgery that they did was basically as if i had torn my vaginal wall very badly during birth. also, i've been going to a physical therapist to help with strengthening my pelvic floor and to work on the scar tissue from the episiotomy that they cut, and according to her, my vaginal tissues are in great shape. i also talked to a midwife who also concurred after hearing about the injury, surgery and recovery that i can absolutely plan for a vaginal birth even after these issues.

also, i think it's absolutely wonderful and crucial for you to deal with the emotional side of this before your next birth. i went to see a craniosacral therapist that helps with birth trauma resolution and it helped me sooo much, and was worth every penny.

i hope you get some answers from the doctor, please keep us posted and please feel free to pm me.

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#4 of 4 Old 02-06-2007, 01:14 PM
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I am glad you are going to get counseling. It is well worth the price. I am sorry you are having to deal with this fear instead of just being excited about the baby. Keep us posted on how the appointments go. I will be thinking of you.
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