HBAT Tribe - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 77 Old 10-19-2008, 03:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
holyhelianthus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: the Southern California desert
Posts: 11,082
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had a dream a few nights ago that I came to MDC and created a Healing Birth After Trauma tribe. When I woke up I really wanted to jump right on and start it but I held back because I thought no one would be interested or whomever would say it was pointless or inappropriate or not needed or whatever. But the thought has been nagging me. Instead of calling it healing after trauma I'd rather call it healthy. I like this better because my next birth might not heal me but it might just be a good birth none the less and that's all I can hope for.

I want a support group/tribe for women who are either pregnant or preparing themselves for pregnancy (regardless of degree) after a traumatic birth. I want this for a few reasons 1) to offer support and a home for women, like me, who have had a traumatic birth and who want more children and 2) to let people out there know that it is possible! I'm a little enthusiastic in that I would love to see HBAT (or something like it) used like V/HBAC are (anyone up for making us a smiley? ). I just feel that birth trauma isn't talked about enough anywhere. Maybe that is just me though.

So is anyone else interested in joining my Healthy Birth After Trauma tribe? I do want to say that "birth" here is a broad term- if this means a HB or UC or going in for a voluntary c-section it doesn't matter. Those of us who have been traumatized in birth need support no matter the degree of crunchy we are or our next births will be.

Who's with me?

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
holyhelianthus is offline  
#2 of 77 Old 10-19-2008, 05:25 PM
 
barefootpoetry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,676
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Heh, I clicked on this because I thought HBAT stood for Home Birth After Trauma. But I like your idea too! I definitely had a very healthy, satisfying birth after my first one, which was pretty traumatic, and it's really helped how I feel about that trauma as well as improved my spirit in many other ways.
barefootpoetry is offline  
#3 of 77 Old 10-19-2008, 06:10 PM
 
AutumnAir's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: In my head
Posts: 1,780
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I may join you here though I can't guarantee that I'll ever have another birth.
I've always wanted at least 2, preferably 3, kids. But since my traumatic birth I doubt if I'll ever be able to face into that again. Just looking at pregnant women makes my heart race and panic takes over.
But I really don't want my DD to be an only child, and I do desperately want a great birth; the one I worked so hard for last time. I'm only 9 months PP, so even if I hadn't had a traumatic birth I wouldn't be TTC yet anyway.
I'll keep an eye on this thread because I would really like inspiration - it's good for me to hear that other women have overcome birth trauma and gone on to have healing healthy births.

Lisa - mama to Eleanor Rose 01/08 and Saoirse Lily 09/10
AutumnAir is offline  
#4 of 77 Old 10-20-2008, 12:51 AM
 
La Rune's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 294
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow!

I plan on having a healthy birth after trauma. I sure better ... I want plenty of kids!

ITA that birth trauma is not talked about enough. That's why I've been reading and posting here I guess ... I don't know anyone IRL who will admit that their birth wasn't perfect, let alone traumatic!

I'm not sure what form my HBAT will take yet. I'm not really willing to give my MW another shot but there's only one other close enough. And I definitely don't want to start out in the hospital. Of course, I definitely have time to figure that out.
La Rune is offline  
#5 of 77 Old 10-20-2008, 03:10 PM
 
bobandjess99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Northern IN
Posts: 5,912
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would be with you, but honestly, can't imagine when I will be ready, or what my "healing/healthy" birth might look like. i say this because my most recent birth was SUPPOSED to be my "healing" birth after my first trauma..and ended up being SO MUCH WORSE than my first.....and I feel like both times, i made the absolute best choices I could have. SO essentially..I guess i'm wondering if *I* can EVER have a "good birth"?

CPST
bobandjess99 is offline  
#6 of 77 Old 10-20-2008, 03:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
holyhelianthus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: the Southern California desert
Posts: 11,082
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobandjess99 View Post
I guess i'm wondering if *I* can EVER have a "good birth"?
I feel you on this one. I have 3 children and have yet to have a "good birth". None were traumatic like my last one but still.

I also don't know if I could ever have another baby and remain sane. Pregnancy is as bad as birth for me. I tried watching some birth videos on YouTube the other day but it tore me a new one.

I go back and forth between a UC and crawling to any OB on hands and knees that will give me a c-section. It's horrible I know but it's how I feel.

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
holyhelianthus is offline  
#7 of 77 Old 10-20-2008, 09:14 PM
 
changingseasons's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Seattle
Posts: 8,802
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobandjess99 View Post
I would be with you, but honestly, can't imagine when I will be ready, or what my "healing/healthy" birth might look like. i say this because my most recent birth was SUPPOSED to be my "healing" birth after my first trauma..and ended up being SO MUCH WORSE than my first.....and I feel like both times, i made the absolute best choices I could have. SO essentially..I guess i'm wondering if *I* can EVER have a "good birth"?


I would love to have a healthy (AND healing) birth after trauma... but this is exactly what I am terrified about. What if I do everything better this time, now that I know what to do/avoid, and I still end up with a traumatic birth? I'm not sure if I could take it. I'm nowhere near (mentally, physically) ready to TTC, but I would like DD to have a sibling not too far from her age... so it's something that I need to start thinking about in the next year or two.

Mom to DD1 (10/07) and DD2 (3/11)
geek.gif I blog about our life with food allergies and eosinophilic disorders.
changingseasons is offline  
#8 of 77 Old 10-21-2008, 11:36 PM
 
La Rune's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 294
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
I go back and forth between a UC and crawling to any OB on hands and knees that will give me a c-section. It's horrible I know but it's how I feel.
Me too.

I think right now I lean more toward UC but of course when you've had a traumatic birth you wonder if your body works right ....
La Rune is offline  
#9 of 77 Old 10-25-2008, 01:34 PM
 
goodcents's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,786
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi Everyone,
I am not pregnant, nor having more children, but I want you to KNOW down in the deepest part of your body, in tiniest place that a HBAT is totally possible.

I am living testament to it and it was of the best moments of my life. It was tough work, I did a LOT to get to that place but it is very much a possibility. I wrote a beautiful article about it that unfortunately Mothering didn't publish, but I have it around if anyone would like to read it. Please send me a pm if you do.

Blessings to you all and best of luck,
GC
goodcents is offline  
#10 of 77 Old 10-25-2008, 01:52 PM
 
quarteralien's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: upstate New York
Posts: 2,478
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm not ready to talk yet, but I think this thread is a good idea.
quarteralien is offline  
#11 of 77 Old 10-25-2008, 01:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
holyhelianthus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: the Southern California desert
Posts: 11,082
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by quarteralien View Post
I'm not ready to talk yet, but I think this thread is a good idea.

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
holyhelianthus is offline  
#12 of 77 Old 10-25-2008, 02:02 PM
 
quarteralien's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: upstate New York
Posts: 2,478
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks.
quarteralien is offline  
#13 of 77 Old 10-27-2008, 01:33 AM
 
jenneology's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 1,215
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm all for that and I was on board when I read the title (although I thought it was Home Birth after Trauma too). But not every healthy, happy birth after trauma is going to take place at home, I just know that mine better. I'm 10 weeks now and doing everything in my power to prevent needing to go to a hospital and being treated like dirt there again. Thanks for creating that, and for following through with your dreams!

M.Ed. Mama to Chunka (1/07), Beauty (5/09) and Elizabear 3/12): Birth Doula (working toward certification) AAMI Midwifery Student, Advocating with Solace for Mothers & The Birth Survey

jenneology is offline  
#14 of 77 Old 10-27-2008, 03:26 AM
 
photochef's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 518
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Oooooh yes, count me in. I am doing everything I can to make sure that whatever happens, I have prepared to make the best I can out of what we end up going through. I am constantly thinking of ways last time could have been better, and ways that I can use those lessons to improve this time no matter what happens. This is our last child, and I am determined that this time will be a good time. No matter what.
photochef is offline  
#15 of 77 Old 10-27-2008, 12:16 PM
 
ErinsJuneBug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,367
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
GREAT IDEA!!! I too clicked on this because I thought it meant Homebirth after a Traumatic birth...which we are planning. I am now 6 weeks pregnant and planning a HBAC for June.
ErinsJuneBug is offline  
#16 of 77 Old 10-27-2008, 12:28 PM
 
paquerette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Poconos
Posts: 6,818
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Count me in.
paquerette is offline  
#17 of 77 Old 10-28-2008, 04:33 PM
 
photochef's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 518
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
All right then, so this sounds like it needs to be an action-oriented tribe, so where do we begin? What I am starting to work on is alternative plans - what can I do to make each possible scenario the best it can be, to minimize trauma to myself, my baby, and my partner. I have not gotten very far yet. I end up getting scared and freaking out.

I am in a better place than when I first got pregnant, my partner and I have worked through most of our issues, and I have managed to forgive myself.

How about you all??
photochef is offline  
#18 of 77 Old 10-28-2008, 08:35 PM
 
bobandjess99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Northern IN
Posts: 5,912
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaCaveBear View Post
All right then, so this sounds like it needs to be an action-oriented tribe, so where do we begin? What I am starting to work on is alternative plans - what can I do to make each possible scenario the best it can be, to minimize trauma to myself, my baby, and my partner. I have not gotten very far yet. I end up getting scared and freaking out.

I am in a better place than when I first got pregnant, my partner and I have worked through most of our issues, and I have managed to forgive myself.

How about you all??
I think many of us are at a much less-action oriented place, actually. clearly, you have a pressing need to try and work through your issues, if I am reading your sig correctly (congrats!), but I think many of us are a LONG ways off from actual action...more like we're in the pre-planning stages. Several of the stories are from women who are only a few months postpartum, and even many of those of us a bit further out...are not even contemplating another pregnancy yet. I know personally, i have MANY YEARS to get things figured out, cuz there will be no more births here for a good long time!
I think that some are possibly ready to start the action process, and I think thinking about what to change, how to prepare, all the what-ifs? might be a good place to start for some people. Others i think need to do a more introspective type of healing, internally emotional, and deal with those feelings, rather than thinking about plans for a future birth.
I think a lot of us are still just beginning to process the traumatic birth experience(s), and are doing a lot of thinking, talking, reaching out for comfort.
Okay.. think I'm rambling now.

CPST
bobandjess99 is offline  
#19 of 77 Old 10-29-2008, 10:25 AM
 
Mom2baldie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: North Texas
Posts: 1,468
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, I SO wish I would have seen this sooner!! I am 3 weeks from my due date and am hoping desperately to have a better birth this time. I have chosen to NOT have another homebirth, which I think is the best decision I have made so far!

Something I have been a little worried about thought, is that I have been SO busy this pregnancy that I haven't really had much time to focus on myself, my body, this baby and I am worried that might come back to bite me when I am in labor this time. I have talked a lot to my MW though and she knows me very well. All I can hope is that I have good support this time, which is something that I haven't had before. I think that right there will make a ton of difference...
Mom2baldie is offline  
#20 of 77 Old 10-29-2008, 12:01 PM
 
photochef's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 518
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobandjess99 View Post
I think many of us are at a much less-action oriented place, actually. clearly, you have a pressing need to try and work through your issues, if I am reading your sig correctly (congrats!), but I think many of us are a LONG ways off from actual action...more like we're in the pre-planning stages. Several of the stories are from women who are only a few months postpartum, and even many of those of us a bit further out...are not even contemplating another pregnancy yet. I know personally, i have MANY YEARS to get things figured out, cuz there will be no more births here for a good long time!
I think that some are possibly ready to start the action process, and I think thinking about what to change, how to prepare, all the what-ifs? might be a good place to start for some people. Others i think need to do a more introspective type of healing, internally emotional, and deal with those feelings, rather than thinking about plans for a future birth.
I think a lot of us are still just beginning to process the traumatic birth experience(s), and are doing a lot of thinking, talking, reaching out for comfort.
Okay.. think I'm rambling now.
OK, sorry. I'll look elsewhere, maybe a different thread would be better.
photochef is offline  
#21 of 77 Old 10-29-2008, 12:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
holyhelianthus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: the Southern California desert
Posts: 11,082
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaCaveBear View Post
OK, sorry. I'll look elsewhere, maybe a different thread would be better.
Hmmmm... I know I am ready for some sort of action.... But I understand what Jess was getting at....

For me I have began to try and visualize the birth I want and I am studying up on UCing. Also I have begun to really clean and organize my house. My next step is to get healthier physically and mentally.

I think we are all taking some actions (just coming here to post is one!) it's just we are at different places.

CaveWoman~ do you have a birth plan? Would you like to share it?

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
holyhelianthus is offline  
#22 of 77 Old 10-29-2008, 12:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
holyhelianthus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: the Southern California desert
Posts: 11,082
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Also I would like to talk about "getting the word out" about birth trauma. I think a lot of women don't even realized that is what has happened to them- that they have been traumatized and even more are ashamed of it especially if they "had done everything right" like had a homebirth and/or unmedicated, etc.

I know this sounds so dumb and minuscule but having a smilie would make it feel more recognized here. We have one for everything else, it seems. I am going to request one.

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
holyhelianthus is offline  
#23 of 77 Old 10-29-2008, 07:18 PM
 
willowsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: 76244
Posts: 2,423
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Count me in too. I'm expecting #2 in June...and have been trying to work through my "birth" (can't even call it that) trauma that came with my daughter for 5 years.

One of the things that gets me about my case (and I'm sure I'm not alone) is people's responses to my feelings about my "Not Really A" birth. They complete negate my feelings and basically offer up a "Stop complaining" vibe.

Anyway... I'm here...and rambling.

Jenn - Mom, Photographer, Barista 

willowsmom is offline  
#24 of 77 Old 10-29-2008, 07:44 PM
 
AutumnAir's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: In my head
Posts: 1,780
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Willowsmom - I have the same problem. I can't call what happened to me a 'birth'. I can't even say 'when DD was born' because what happened to us was so far from what birth should be that it defiles the word to use it (does that make any sense?)
And yes, very few people know or understand about Birth Trauma and/or Birth Rape. The vast majority of people will come out with the same trite offerings of 'a healthy mom and a healthy baby' 'just be grateful' etc. But IMO mental health is just as important if not more so than physical health, and both mom and baby are damaged by traumatic births.
MamaCaveBear - don't leave! I am in no way ready to even DTD, let alone TTC, so I am miles off from ever having another birth, but I have found that when the nightmares and flashbacks keep me awake at 3 am that one of the things I can do to calm myself a bit is to start planning ahead and figuring out how I can minimise/prevent trauma if I ever did have another baby.
I've started out from the most major intervention possible - C-section and I've started slowly building a picture in my head; under what circumstances would I feel that a C-section was actually necessary, e.g. placenta accreta, cord prolapse.. What questions would I ask? If I accept a C-section what can I do to make it the best possible experience? And so on. It's all very hazy and vague right now, but that's probably because I don't have the time pressure that you do. However, I would love to help come up with a 'plan of action' for all of us here.
I'm just not really sure where exactly to start....

Lisa - mama to Eleanor Rose 01/08 and Saoirse Lily 09/10
AutumnAir is offline  
#25 of 77 Old 10-29-2008, 08:29 PM
 
willowsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: 76244
Posts: 2,423
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisabeeprague View Post
Willowsmom - I have the same problem. I can't call what happened to me a 'birth'. I can't even say 'when DD was born' because what happened to us was so far from what birth should be that it defiles the word to use it (does that make any sense?)
And yes, very few people know or understand about Birth Trauma and/or Birth Rape. The vast majority of people will come out with the same trite offerings of 'a healthy mom and a healthy baby' 'just be grateful' etc. But IMO mental health is just as important if not more so than physical health, and both mom and baby are damaged by traumatic births.
I can't say "when DD was born" either... I'm at a loss of what to say when I talk about it. lol

I've been told that I should "get over it", that "I should be thankful that Willow was ok and that I healed quickly." ...and you hear that so much that you start to doubt your emotions and feelings about the whole experience. I started to feel guilty that I was sweating over the whole thing, y'know? So I tried to do things that I thought would make me feel better. About 3 months after, I went to the Dr. and asked him to show me my chart. I asked him what they saw that would lead them to the conclusion that it was an emergency. You know what the answer was? "Your c-section was probably unnecessary, but we were making the best decision we could with the information we had at the time." Really. Thanks a heap, Sweeney Todd.

I left his office not feeling better at all... I left feeling angry.

So, now I'm 8 weeks along with the 2nd kiddo, something I didn't even imagine would happen...and while I'm excited and happy... I feel that anger again. I'm a lot more confident to ask for what I need to make sure I get the BIRTH I want. That in itself is pretty freakin' healing.

Jenn - Mom, Photographer, Barista 

willowsmom is offline  
#26 of 77 Old 10-30-2008, 10:51 AM
 
valkyrina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Maine
Posts: 284
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Count me in. We had a really traumatic experience, and I also don't even feel like we can call it a birth. When I talk about it, I usually say "when we were in the hospital" or something like that. I sort of half-kid that they weren't born, they were surgically removed (only it's not funny because it's true). I really had been feeling like I was okay with how things went, but for some reason around their first birthday it all started to come back, and I feel like I am NOT okay with it at all. We missed out on so much. I didn't even get to hold them until they were 5 days old. And yes, I'm tired of hearing that they are happy and healthy and I should be satisfied with that. OF COURSE I'm thankful that they are happy and healthy, but the rest matters too!

It all really came back again the the other night, when I got an email from a friend who had just given birth, saying that she had to have a c-section. I wrote her a nice email saying that I would be there for her, and then I went and cried the rest of the night. I think that I had such high hopes for their birth, like somehow the world would be redeemed if I could just know one person who had a joyous birth. And I am very sad for them and very sad in general, because I feel like I lost a lot of hope. I don't know if that makes sense.

Anyway, I would love to talk about strategies for healing now, and strategies for making our next birth go more smoothly. oops, gotta run; babies are awake!
valkyrina is offline  
#27 of 77 Old 10-30-2008, 11:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
holyhelianthus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: the Southern California desert
Posts: 11,082
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So I posted requesting a birth trauma smilie in Q&S and I think I might have offended someone with the suggestion so I'd like to apologize and say that I had only the best intentions. I was thinking of all the VBAC and c-section and birth loss and all those smilies not the happy-go-lucky ones.

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
holyhelianthus is offline  
#28 of 77 Old 10-30-2008, 12:33 PM
 
changingseasons's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Seattle
Posts: 8,802
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by valkyrina View Post
Count me in. We had a really traumatic experience, and I also don't even feel like we can call it a birth. When I talk about it, I usually say "when we were in the hospital" or something like that. I sort of half-kid that they weren't born, they were surgically removed (only it's not funny because it's true). I really had been feeling like I was okay with how things went, but for some reason around their first birthday it all started to come back, and I feel like I am NOT okay with it at all. We missed out on so much. I didn't even get to hold them until they were 5 days old. And yes, I'm tired of hearing that they are happy and healthy and I should be satisfied with that. OF COURSE I'm thankful that they are happy and healthy, but the rest matters too!

It all really came back again the the other night, when I got an email from a friend who had just given birth, saying that she had to have a c-section. I wrote her a nice email saying that I would be there for her, and then I went and cried the rest of the night. I think that I had such high hopes for their birth, like somehow the world would be redeemed if I could just know one person who had a joyous birth. And I am very sad for them and very sad in general, because I feel like I lost a lot of hope. I don't know if that makes sense.

Anyway, I would love to talk about strategies for healing now, and strategies for making our next birth go more smoothly. oops, gotta run; babies are awake!
I had some issues around DD's first birthday too (a couple weeks ago), and I didn't even realize at the time why I was so moody and irritable. But I had definitely been thinking back to her "birth" and it was pretty depressing.

I had a friend who gave birth recently, and I also felt like I needed her to have a good birth, for me. She ended up having a hospital transfer, but still birthed naturally, and for some reason that really did make me feel great. I think that if she had a c/s, I would have been super depressed all over again. So I totally know what you mean valkyrina


Quote:
Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
So I posted requesting a birth trauma smilie in Q&S and I think I might have offended someone with the suggestion so I'd like to apologize and say that I had only the best intentions. I was thinking of all the VBAC and c-section and birth loss and all those smilies not the happy-go-lucky ones.
I think the birth trauma "smilie" is a great idea. Does anyone have any ideas of what might be nice? I could attempt to put something together if I had some ideas.... How about a flower (what kind?)?

Mom to DD1 (10/07) and DD2 (3/11)
geek.gif I blog about our life with food allergies and eosinophilic disorders.
changingseasons is offline  
#29 of 77 Old 10-30-2008, 12:42 PM
 
quarteralien's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: upstate New York
Posts: 2,478
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was thinking something like this : plus this combined.

Something a bit more graphic would be : plus

Or we could come up with a ribbon color, but I have a hard enough time keeping track of what all the ribbons mean, especially the ones with multiple meanings.
quarteralien is offline  
#30 of 77 Old 10-30-2008, 12:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
holyhelianthus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: the Southern California desert
Posts: 11,082
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I also kind of "rely" on friend's births. I had a friend recently have a UC and that was so strengthening to me!

Quote:
Originally Posted by changingseasons View Post
I think the birth trauma "smilie" is a great idea. Does anyone have any ideas of what might be nice? I could attempt to put something together if I had some ideas.... How about a flower (what kind?)?
I have been at a loss for what to do with it. I love the idea of a flower! I am partial to sunflowers because my DH says I remind him of them as they move to the sun. Isn't a lily a sign of mourning or is it just death? I don't know exactly what one can do with such a small image though so...

I had thought of maybe a heart- maybe blue or purple? I'm not so great at this sort of thing

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
holyhelianthus is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off