Parents kidnap adult daughter to prevent wedding - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 44 Old 10-04-2006, 02:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15122704/
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SALT LAKE CITY - The parents of a bride-to-be told their daughter they were taking her on a shopping trip, but then drove to Colorado and kept her there until she missed the nuptials, officials said.

Lemuel and Julia Redd have been charged with second-degree felony kidnapping. Utah County Attorney Kay Bryson said Tuesday he met with the couple’s daughter, Julianna, and her now-husband Perry Myers before charging the parents.

“I’ve never had a case quite like this,” Bryson said. “It is strange that parents would go to that extent to keep an adult daughter from marrying the man that she had chosen to marry.”
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#2 of 44 Old 10-04-2006, 09:58 AM
 
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The Redds didn’t want their daughter to get married, but the bride has been reluctant to say what happened on the drive. Myers said he and his wife were not discussing details of the car ride but said her parents’ objections were not about him.

“It really has nothing to do a lot with me. It really is some issues with the family,” he said.
That's very strange!
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#3 of 44 Old 10-04-2006, 11:59 AM
 
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Talk about not being able to let go! I hope that couple gets some therapy. That's ridiculous. It's one thing to object to the marriage and express you opinions to your child, but it's quite another to commit a crime based on your convictions! Once you kid is 18, sorry folks, it's not your choice anymore.

Bethany, crunchy Christian mom to Destiny (11) Deanna (9), and Ethan (2)

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#5 of 44 Old 10-04-2006, 02:48 PM
 
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I can't imagine putting my parents in jail over that.

Is it insane? Yes
Would I cut all ties? Good chance.
Would I want them both to spend up to 15 years in jail? Not so much

 

 

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#6 of 44 Old 10-04-2006, 03:08 PM
 
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The couple, both students at Brigham Young University, were married in the temple on Aug. 8, Myers said. They are expecting their first child in May.
By my count, the happy bride was either pregnant or within moments of becoming pregnant on their wedding day ..... She couldn't have been pregnant because she wouldn't have been allowed to have a temple marriage. Unless she was pregnant, but was trying to hide that fact so they could have a temple marriage (not very hard to do at 4-5 weeks pregnant). I think there is more to this story than is being made known in the news article.

Maybe the parents were concerned that she was entering the temple under false pretenses and they worried about her eternal well-being.
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#7 of 44 Old 10-04-2006, 03:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post
I can't imagine putting my parents in jail over that.

Is it insane? Yes
Would I cut all ties? Good chance.
Would I want them both to spend up to 15 years in jail? Not so much
I would leap at the chance to put your parents in jail for 15 years
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#8 of 44 Old 10-04-2006, 07:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post
I can't imagine putting my parents in jail over that.
when a crime is committed, it is up to the DA to press charges, not the victim. It might be difficult for the DA to press the charges without the testimony of the victim, but it can be done.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#9 of 44 Old 10-04-2006, 08:03 PM
 
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I agree that fifteen years in prison seems a bit much for this. A couple of months, maybe, and some community service and family counseling if the daughter wishes to remain in contact with her parents, although I am not sure I could if mine tried to pull a stunt like that. I don't know, it's hard to say if you don't know the situation personally. These could be people on who were always on verge of doing something drastic and finally decided to take action, or they could be parents just driven a little bit too far who decided on a whim to try and "save" their daughter with good intentions that just went to far. I don't know. I do think that the pregnancy might have had something to do with that. The article suggests that the family is LDS and I know that pregnancy before marriage is strictly forbidden and looked down upon in that religion.

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#10 of 44 Old 10-04-2006, 09:26 PM
 
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Maybe so, but how is kidnapping her going to solve the problem?
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#11 of 44 Old 10-04-2006, 09:29 PM
 
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angelpie wrote: The article suggests that the family is LDS and I know that pregnancy before marriage is strictly forbidden and looked down upon in that religion.
The couple, at least, HAD to be LDS in order to get married in the Temple. Not only is pregnancy before marriage strictly forbidden, sex before marriage is forbidden. They would not have been allowed to step foot inside the Temple if it was known that they had engaged in sexual activity prior to their being wedded. That is why I think that, perhaps in the parents' minds, they wished to prevent their daughter from entering the Temple if she was not worthy (assuming she and her fiance' had sex).

Mormons believe that entering the Temple while unworthy is a very serious, eternal, offense.
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#12 of 44 Old 10-04-2006, 09:42 PM
 
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Well if they don't want people lying about being pregnant, maybe they should lay off the shaming of "unwed" pregnant women. Just a suggestion.
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#13 of 44 Old 10-04-2006, 09:59 PM
 
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BelgianSheepDog - as someone who was raised Mormon and married in the Temple, I couldn't agree more. I have been happily very EX-Mormon for going on 15 years now. I would never go back to being as submissive to a tyrannical patriarchy as I was then.
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#14 of 44 Old 10-04-2006, 11:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by nonconformnmom View Post
The couple, at least, HAD to be LDS in order to get married in the Temple. Not only is pregnancy before marriage strictly forbidden, sex before marriage is forbidden. They would not have been allowed to step foot inside the Temple if it was known that they had engaged in sexual activity prior to their being wedded. That is why I think that, perhaps in the parents' minds, they wished to prevent their daughter from entering the Temple if she was not worthy (assuming she and her fiance' had sex).

Mormons believe that entering the Temple while unworthy is a very serious, eternal, offense.
That may be the official rule, but I don't think it is very harshly implimented.

Or does the LDS church assume that unmarried people living together don't have sex?

 

 

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#15 of 44 Old 10-04-2006, 11:59 PM
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Originally Posted by nonconformnmom View Post
By my count, the happy bride was either pregnant or within moments of becoming pregnant on their wedding day ..... She couldn't have been pregnant because she wouldn't have been allowed to have a temple marriage. Unless she was pregnant, but was trying to hide that fact so they could have a temple marriage (not very hard to do at 4-5 weeks pregnant). I think there is more to this story than is being made known in the news article.

Maybe the parents were concerned that she was entering the temple under false pretenses and they worried about her eternal well-being.
August to May is nine months. She could have gotten pregnant on her wedding night.

If the parents were concerned about her worthiness, they could have easily told the bishop or stake president.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#16 of 44 Old 10-05-2006, 12:00 AM
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Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post

Or does the LDS church assume that unmarried people living together don't have sex?
They would probably take their word on it.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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Originally Posted by SirPentor View Post
I would leap at the chance to put your parents in jail for 15 years
And yes, I did notice that.

 

 

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#18 of 44 Old 10-05-2006, 12:01 AM
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Would I want them both to spend up to 15 years in jail? Not so much

Less chance of them trying to kidnap the future grandchildren then.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#19 of 44 Old 10-05-2006, 12:43 AM
 
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Question, NCM. So, if this is the reason that her parents kidnapped her (her being "unworthy" because of having sex) and if she did not have the temple wedding, to keep from being damned to hell, or whatever. Can she become "worthy" again, and be able to enter temple or is she just SOL?

Just curious....

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#20 of 44 Old 10-05-2006, 12:51 AM
 
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They didn't press charges until AFTER speaking to the victim. If she'd wanted to "protect them" she could have said that she was getting cold feet and wanted a few days away to think things over, rather than say she was kidnapped.

She obviously was kidnapped and upset about the situation!

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#21 of 44 Old 10-05-2006, 02:12 AM
 
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Yes, we Mormons, take our religion seriously. We aren't to have sexual relations before getting married, or live together. We don't shame women who do get pregnant though. Yes, they may have to go speak with the Bishop (leader of the ward/congregation), but we members are not to shame them. I am sure there are members though who do shame, and they will be held accountable for it one day. I've had friends who have had babies before marriage...some kept them, some gave them up for adoption. But I never shamed them. I supported them with whatever decision they made.

I did have a friend though, who was 6 months pregnant when she got married in the Temple. She and her (now ex-) husband were put on probation...not exed from the church. They counceled with their Bishop, and eventually everything was fine.

Yes, some Mormon lie to get into the Temple. Like I said before though...they will be held accountable one day. And please don't flame me...it's just what we believe, K?

And believe me...I may have done the same thing to my sister before she got married, especially if I knew that the man she was marrying was a jerk and abuser! My sister is not happy, but she feels that she has no way out because he has threatened her with taking the children and she never seeing them again.
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#22 of 44 Old 10-05-2006, 03:25 AM
 
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You're saying you would have kidnapped your sister? Um alrighty then...

Not letting someone be in an important place for their faith because they've had a baby is shaming. It's part of your religion, fine, but let's call it what it is. You can't be supportive of someone while simultaneously kicking them out the front door.
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I would leap at the chance to put your parents in jail for 15 years
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#24 of 44 Old 10-05-2006, 10:21 AM
 
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According to the latest reports, the parents could serve from 1-15 years. So not necessarily the full 15.

And I agree with the PP who said that if my parents kidnapped me before my wedding to DH, I would certainly cut them out of my life, but I'm not sure I'd like them to spend jailtime, KWIM?

But wow, I would certainly be livid!!! How terrible!

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#25 of 44 Old 10-05-2006, 11:19 AM
 
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Question, NCM. So, if this is the reason that her parents kidnapped her (her being "unworthy" because of having sex) and if she did not have the temple wedding, to keep from being damned to hell, or whatever. Can she become "worthy" again, and be able to enter temple or is she just SOL?

Just curious....
At the time I was active in the Church, there are always second chances, ways to repent and become 'worthy' for temple rites. If she had gotten married in a secular ceremony and reported to her bishop that they had had premarital sex, the bishop would have recommended next steps for her and her husband to do in order to become "sealed" in the Temple at a later date. The Church is very forgiving and wants to give everyone who sincerely desires it every chance possible.

Chastity before marriage is a core tenet of the Church. I don't think there is any question of leniency in implementing that policy. The Temple is considered the most sacred place you can be, they screen people very seriously before a 'pass' is provided for them to get in. That said, yes sometimes people lie in order to get that all-important temple marriage. The pressure is unbelievably extreme. (I did not lie to get in, I was a virgin on my wedding day. However, my parents were not allowed to see me be married because they had not paid 100% of the tithes they owed the Church, so they were not allowed in the Temple.)

I am in no way defending what the parents did, I am simply speculating on what their reasoning might have been. Had it been me, I would have been upset at my parents but I seriously doubt I would have pressed charges. I think the parents did it out of love for their daughter, strange as that may seem.
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#26 of 44 Old 10-05-2006, 12:35 PM
 
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I am in no way defending what the parents did, I am simply speculating on what their reasoning might have been. Had it been me, I would have been upset at my parents but I seriously doubt I would have pressed charges. I think the parents did it out of love for their daughter, strange as that may seem.
I agree. It's very weird that the daughter wants her parents to spend time in jail. I can understand being mad and upset.... perhaps not even talking to my Mom & Dad. But sending them to jail?? Must be more there.

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#27 of 44 Old 10-05-2006, 02:01 PM
 
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I agree. It's very weird that the daughter wants her parents to spend time in jail. I can understand being mad and upset.... perhaps not even talking to my Mom & Dad. But sending them to jail?? Must be more there.
I don't know, if it where me, I would want them spend at least some time in jail. While I understand that they care for their daughter, and that may have their concerns, it doesn't make it okay to commit a crime. Anyone else commiting such an act would face jail time-why not the parents? I would want my parents to at least pay for what they did legally if they did that to me. I probably wouldn't want them to do a lot of jail time, but what they did was illegal, so they do have to face some sort of legal consequences.

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Religion of any sort makes me :
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#29 of 44 Old 10-05-2006, 03:10 PM
 
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At the time I was active in the Church, there are always second chances, ways to repent and become 'worthy' for temple rites. If she had gotten married in a secular ceremony and reported to her bishop that they had had premarital sex, the bishop would have recommended next steps for her and her husband to do in order to become "sealed" in the Temple at a later date. The Church is very forgiving and wants to give everyone who sincerely desires it every chance possible.

Chastity before marriage is a core tenet of the Church. I don't think there is any question of leniency in implementing that policy. The Temple is considered the most sacred place you can be, they screen people very seriously before a 'pass' is provided for them to get in. That said, yes sometimes people lie in order to get that all-important temple marriage. The pressure is unbelievably extreme. (I did not lie to get in, I was a virgin on my wedding day. However, my parents were not allowed to see me be married because they had not paid 100% of the tithes they owed the Church, so they were not allowed in the Temple.)

I am in no way defending what the parents did, I am simply speculating on what their reasoning might have been. Had it been me, I would have been upset at my parents but I seriously doubt I would have pressed charges. I think the parents did it out of love for their daughter, strange as that may seem.
Thanks

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#30 of 44 Old 10-05-2006, 03:47 PM
 
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You're saying you would have kidnapped your sister? Um alrighty then...
Ok, maybe I wouldn't have kidnapped her, but maybe had a serious talk with her if I could have seen the future (like Raven on Disney Channel...That's So Raven), and would have beheld the knowledge of her husband, who is a jerk and abuser towards her and the children. It's very sad. Don't you wish that you can help someone who's in a bad situation? Wish you can ever go back and rewrite history for them? I sure wish I could with my sister. :
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