Lance Cpl. Maria Frances Lauterbach - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 06:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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w.t.f. !!

I know this story is rapidly becoming sensationalized to the point of it being in danger of becoming just another tabloid murder, but ... christ, that poor woman. that poor baby. that horrible man.

I just wanted to say.
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#2 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 06:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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wow, i'm quite surprised nobody feels like responding ... maybe i'm just over-emotional, but this story is just eating me up today
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#3 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 07:01 PM
 
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I will respond ktbug. I am appalled because right before the discovery of the body the press was suggesting this woman was unstable (quoted a stepmother of claiming she was a pathalogical liar--as if no one has ever had a stepmonster with an ax to grind) and suggesting she was making up her rape claims. Now I hear the Marines did nothing since her report of the rape in April to make sure the accused didn't have access to her forcing her to move off base. The military is just no place for a woman. Over and over we hear that not only do they get regular assaults or threats of it, but the the SOP is always to first blame her and try to intimidate her to renounce her accusation. If I had a daughter I would steer her to any other form of national service OTHER than a branch of the military. Course I would do the same with a son because I am appalled at how they let damaged emotionally wounded vets flounder with PTSD and other disorders and how many vets are routinely going through periods of mental illness leading to homelessness.
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#4 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 07:04 PM
 
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I heard those comments about the woman being unstable, all while she was lying in a shallow grave and the whole system failed her. It is horrible.
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#5 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 07:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hwtmama, i was hearing that stuff too. As I commented to my own MIL who was the one to pass those unfortunate comments on to me, one's history of dishonesty or mental health status doesn't disqualify one from being a rape victim. dishonest people and the mentally ill get raped just like the rest of us.

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Now I hear the Marines did nothing since her report of the rape in April to make sure the accused didn't have access to her forcing her to move off base. The military is just no place for a woman. Over and over we hear that not only do they get regular assaults or threats of it, but the the SOP is always to first blame her and try to intimidate her to renounce her accusation.
Yeah, it's almost being made out like she's the one to blame for being brutally murdered, too.

i'm fuming at the marine corps for what seems to be a totally botched investigation, typical of the military's attitude toward violence against women. and i'm grossed out by all the media drooling over what will likely turn out to be really, really gory details of the crime scene and gravesite.

there doesn't seem to be much out there just to honor her, and her baby.
that's why i started this thread.

RIP, cpl. lauterbach.
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#6 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 07:30 PM
 
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RIP, cpl. lauterbach.
I too am heartbroken at how she and her child were betrayed by everyone who was supposed to be a source of either comfort or protection to her.
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#7 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 07:32 PM
 
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I will respond ktbug. I am appalled because right before the discovery of the body the press was suggesting this woman was unstable (quoted a stepmother of claiming she was a pathalogical liar--as if no one has ever had a stepmonster with an ax to grind) and suggesting she was making up her rape claims. Now I hear the Marines did nothing since her report of the rape in April to make sure the accused didn't have access to her forcing her to move off base. The military is just no place for a woman. Over and over we hear that not only do they get regular assaults or threats of it, but the the SOP is always to first blame her and try to intimidate her to renounce her accusation. If I had a daughter I would steer her to any other form of national service OTHER than a branch of the military. Course I would do the same with a son because I am appalled at how they let damaged emotionally wounded vets flounder with PTSD and other disorders and how many vets are routinely going through periods of mental illness leading to homelessness.
I agree.


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#8 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 07:42 PM
 
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I had not heard about this, and google is only taking me to the latest news, not the background. :

But it isn't news to me that the military is no place for a woman. Nearly every man I have ever worked with who had problems working with women was ex-military, or raised by a father who was ex-military.

It's a terrible generalization, but I've just run into it too many times to not wonder what the hell they do to those guys in the service to make them think so little of women, yk?

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#9 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 07:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had not heard about this, and google is only taking me to the latest news, not the background. :
She's been missing for a month.
She was due to testify against a fellow soldier in a rape case on the base. This man may be the father of her unborn baby. This is the man in whose backyard her remains were found, and the man who is currently on the run from law enforcement.


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It's a terrible generalization, but I've just run into it too many times to not wonder what the hell they do to those guys in the service to make them think so little of women, yk?
The very idea of militarism as we know it has been handed down to us from centuries of patriarchy. It's true that the warrior-woman used to be a valid archetype, but that history is lost to us. Weakness and emotion are punished, empathy is not valued, and the whole thing centers around the taking of life, rather than the giving. Plus, it's very hierarchical, with the strongest and hardest on top. That's just asking for trouble when you mix women into the equation, especially if they expect to be treated fairly or respectfully.

I'm not saying this woman deserved what she got because women shouldn't be in the military. Women join for many reasons, and it's not my place to speculate about what drove her to become a soldier. But it's definitely worth saying that being an active duty woman in this country is a very dangerous prospect indeed.
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#10 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 08:29 PM
 
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I heard those comments about the woman being unstable, all while she was lying in a shallow grave and the whole system failed her.


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#11 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 08:32 PM
 
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That's what I mean, I by no means meant to say she deserved it.

I just don't understand the complete lack of regard for the women they meet IRL, on the job. My aunt was raped by a man in the air force as a teen, and he actually called my grandmother the next day to ask if she was ok, like they had just had a minor argument or an accident or something. My aunt didn't tell my grandmother what had happened until months later when she was obviously pregnant.

In a different time, women didn't go to the authorities when they had been raped, they just tried to forget. My aunt died too young as it was, she ate herself into morbid obesity and got all of the illnesses that go with it. I believe she suppressed her sexuality, buried her attractiveness, because my grandfather never believed that she was raped, and she punished herself, tried to make herself unappealing to men so nothing would ever happen to her again.

Dying because you speak up about your attack, or slowly killing yourself because you can't get over it should not be the only options a woman has, yk?

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#12 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 08:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Dying because you speak up about your attack, or slowly killing yourself because you can't get over it should not be the only options a woman has, yk?
Agreed. Yet, for many, many years, these have been the only options available.
When people say, "Why didn't you go to the authorities? Why didn't you tell someone?" ... oh, I get mad. The cure's half as bad as the disease, at best. Sometimes it takes your whole life.

What I can't believe is that I agree with Geraldo f'ing Rivera ... he was on a panel talking about the case a while ago on TV and said something to the effect of "How could the county sheriff's office not have been involved weeks ago? How is it that they knew she was missing, and the circumstances of her disappearance, yet no one ever looked at Cpl. Laurean's house? For that matter, where is Cpl. Laurean's wife in all this, while he's painting over blood spatter and burning bodies in the backyard fire pit?"

Indeed, how could the civilian authorities have been so negligent?
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#13 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 08:38 PM
 
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OMG how heartbreaking. for LCpl. Lauterbach and her baby.
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#14 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 08:44 PM
 
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Her family members were on tv asking her to return, as if there was no thought that she could be in danger or dead. So sad.
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#15 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 08:54 PM
 
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I too am heartbroken at how she and her child were betrayed by everyone who was supposed to be a source of either comfort or protection to her.
This. It saddens me for so, so many reasons - she was failed in every way

As a military wife to a wonderful husband, I can say that not all men in the service act like that - I know many wonderful guys in the military. BUT there are some men (and perhaps women too) who go into the military and they already have a certain personality type or mindset, and the military just reinforces that and gives them a feeling of power and control.

If that makes any sense...
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#16 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 08:55 PM
 
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It's amazingly sad. Way too many women and their babies (both born and unbor) are killed by the husband/boyfriend. Way too many.


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#17 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 08:57 PM
 
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I don't think this guy qualifies as either, does he?

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#18 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 08:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Her family members were on tv asking her to return, as if there was no thought that she could be in danger or dead. So sad.
That part, in itself, is troubling and bothersome to me. This was a week or two ago, no? After she missed her prenatals, I think. At least one of them had to suspect SOMETHING. The local sheriff had to suspect something.

I don't know. I was reading the other thread, about the women in the Congo, and it seems ... out of whack, I guess, that this much attention is being lavished on one brutal act of violence against one American woman, when brutal acts of violence against an entire population of women are being committed as a matter of course in other countries. But what do we have a system of justice for, a "civilization" for, except to protect us against this most fundamental violation of our human rights? What good is the social contract, really, if this still happens as a fairly commonplace occurrence in countries that fancy themselves "civilized" or "just"?

It blows my mind that any woman can deny there's a patriarchy or that misogynism persists, or insist that feminism is reactionary, after seeing stuff like this all the time.
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#19 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 08:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't think this guy qualifies as either, does he?
No, he doesn't, but I think the kicker part of that statistic is not really relationship status but paternity status. Way too many women and children are killed by the babydaddy.
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#20 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 08:59 PM
 
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I don't think this guy qualifies as either, does he?
I'm not sure... he was the guy who raped her and I *believe* the media has said that they did have a relationship even after that - so perhaps it's possible he was the baby's father?
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#21 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 09:01 PM
 
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I don't think this guy qualifies as either, does he?
The guy just charged with murdering her had raped her. Her family believed the rape resulted in her pregnancy.

There is a good article on CNN... but warning... it is very disturbing...especially about her baby...
http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/01/12/...ine/index.html

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#22 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 09:01 PM
 
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That part, in itself, is troubling and bothersome to me. This was a week or two ago, no? After she missed her prenatals, I think. At least one of them had to suspect SOMETHING. The local sheriff had to suspect something.
I'd like to say it's surprising that the military kept it quiet but it's not - they treat things 'internally' without involving the outside as much as possible. But you'd better believe that there were people who knew exactly how long she was missing and were keeping tabs on it -

yuck I don't even want to think about the inside stuff that was probably going on. cover up. tarnishes the branch.
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#23 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 09:03 PM
 
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There is a good article on CNN... but warning... it is very disturbing...especially about her baby...
http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/01/12/...ine/index.html


Is anyone else wondering if he murdered her to keep it from coming out that he was the baby daddy? That would mean pretty serious implications for him in the military.
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#24 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 09:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Is anyone else wondering if he murdered her to keep it from coming out that he was the baby daddy? That would mean pretty serious implications for him in the military.
That's usually why this kind of thing goes down.
And, hey, it's out now, isn't it. What an idiotic way to cover up a secret. He basically ensured that the entire world will know all the gory details. The guy had four lawyers, he was active duty military accused of raping another Marine, a woman. He would very likely have gotten away with it.

That said, if he comes out of the manhunt alive I'll be very, very surprised. I suspect he may already be dead.
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#25 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 09:08 PM
 
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That's usually why this kind of thing goes down.
And, hey, it's out now, isn't it. If he comes out of the manhunt alive I'll be very, very surprised.
Except he thought that he would get away with it

Whatever beef he had with her, I just don't know HOW a man could take the life of his unborn child (assuming it's his) in the way that he did. It makes you sick. And I suppose they'll try to play the 'he was over in Iraq/Afghanistan last year PTSD card' so it doesn't make him look like the brute he is.
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#26 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 09:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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And I suppose they'll try to play the 'he was over in Iraq/Afghanistan last year PTSD card' so it doesn't make him look like the brute he is.
Hey, that part might be true enough, really.
It's still no excuse.
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#27 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 09:10 PM
 
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absolutely. didn't I hear somewhere that the number one cause of death for pregnant women was murder? or is that an internet stat that is blown out of proportion?

http://www.iidb.org/vbb/archive/index.php/t-65705.html


nope. I checked and at least in 2001, it wasn't. there is debate all over the net now as to whether or not it's accurate, so google, follow the links and see what you think. How many of these cases have we heard about in the past few years?

WTF is wrong with people that this is so commonplace?

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#28 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 09:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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absolutely. didn't I hear somewhere that the number one cause of death for pregnant women was murder? or is that an internet stat that is blown out of proportion?

http://www.iidb.org/vbb/archive/index.php/t-65705.html

WTF is wrong with people that this is so commonplace?
It gets confusing, because, IIRC, statistically women are beaten/abused more often while pregnant. A woman is her most vulnerable and physically least imposing while pregnant. And I suspect many women who are victims of violence while pregnant are carrying on with a pregnancy that may not be wanted by the man responsible, which turns many men violent. Inside and outside of committed relationships. This is no excuse for the violence - I'm just trying to identify the trigger.

Oh, this part really chaps my ass:

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Military officials said Laurean was not taken into custody after Lauterbach reported the alleged rape because there was information the two carried on "some sort of friendly relationship" after she filed the complaint against him.

"The information ... leads us to believe that she still had some kind of contact" with him, said Paul Ciccarelli, agent in charge of the Naval Criminal Investigative Service at Camp Lejeune, this week.
She may have spoken to him! It might not have been totally hostile! There's no way it was rape! And no way he might pose a danger to her!
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#29 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 09:16 PM
 
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Hey, that part might be true enough, really.
It's still no excuse.
Bolding mine.... and true 'dat. If he is that unstable he should have been in treatment of some kind. And they all go through the 'debrief' when they come back so someone found him competent. If they try to play that card it's gonna be a whole lot of crap hitting the fan somewhere.
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#30 of 57 Old 01-12-2008, 09:19 PM
 
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Oh, this part really chaps my ass:



She may have spoken to him! It might not have been totally hostile! There's no way it was rape! And no way he might pose a danger to her!
I'm still catching up. I'm assuming they were in some way stationed together, right? And they would have been told they had to be civil and work together, so that is totally bogus. Of course she is going to maintain a social mask at work so she doesn't get in trouble. Can you imagine what that would be like? Is that what she was having to do every day, or were they separated at least?

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