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#1 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 01:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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...how did you make your decision on whether to circ or not?
I've done limited research but I'm next to positive, pending medical issues like a poster below mentioned, we won't be doing it. Seems silly.

And whenever people comment on it, one way or the other, what did you say??

Basically... knowing that it's 'normal' to do in the USA, what do you say if someone babysits your little one and comments on it?
Or if you don't already have a little boy, what do you plan on saying?

Or am I the only crazy one that knows people are going to open their mouths? haha.
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#2 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 01:40 AM
 
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Well we're British and are first two were born in the UK, it's simply not even a decision you have to make, it just isn't done! It's certainly not something that when I heard Americans often did I started thinking ooh, maybe that's a good idea, I can't imagine doing something like that to a newborn.

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#3 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 01:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Pretty much my thought too. (can't imagine doing that to a newborn)


The only "pro"s that I have really found talk about hygeine (DH isn't circ'ed and swears he never had any issues, he was taught to just KEEP IT CLEAN!) and about how if they're circ'ed they might be a smidge less likely to contract STDs (should be having safe sex anyway!) and of course that I think it's 'normal' to do here.

I don't think we're going to do but think I need to start bracing myself for people's ridicule now. I've got no idea what to say to them cause lord knows I'm not going to tell my mother that my husband didn't have it done and he's just fine so thats how we left my son, too! Mom doesn't need to know that much about DH!!
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#4 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 01:59 AM
 
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We don't know if we're having a boy or a girl yet, but the decision for me was ridiculously simple. I just don't believe in cutting pieces off of my children.

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#5 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 02:00 AM
 
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The hygene issue would only possibly be valid if you lived in the desert with no running water and you didn't take a bath for a month at a time. If you live near a shower, it is completely a non issue.

My two older boys are intact. They have known how to clean their penis' since they started retracting their own skin. It has always been a non issue. No different then washing their hair. I wouldn't shave their heads daily to avoid the shampoo issue, so why cut skin to avoid the cleaning issue.

Also the STD thing. WHILE there might have been a study that cut men are slightly at an advantage when it comes to STD's, in my experience intact men are more likely to wear a condom as they have not lost most of their sensation due to being cut and due to the head of the penis rubbing against the clothes.

I am currently fighting with my Dh on this issue, as he and his son are cut, but I am still 100% against cutting a child.

Also, my thought is, IF, and ONLY IF there is a medical reason for the circumcision, we will address it at THAT time. I have had my appendix removed and I am getting my gallbladder out soon, preventing the pain for the surgery isn't reason for someone to have done either surgery to me as an infant, so why is it a reason to cut a male's penis?
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#6 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 02:03 AM
 
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Keeping in mind that MDC doesn't host conversations that are pro-RIC, you may want to visit our Case Against Circumcision forum.

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#7 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 02:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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What is pro-RIC?

I tried google but it failed me!

I'm sorry, but I don't know what that means.
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#8 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 02:16 AM
 
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RIC = routine infant circumcision

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#9 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 02:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ah, gotcha.

Sorry. Thanks.
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#10 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 02:22 AM
 
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Originally Posted by apparitions View Post
What is pro-RIC?

I tried google but it failed me!

I'm sorry, but I don't know what that means.
Routine Infant Circumcision, I believe.

How did we make that decision the first time? Just wouldn't ever dream of making a permanent sexual decision for someone else. It is my job as my children's mother to protect them from such things. I find it disgusting that anyone would alter their infant child. I see circumcision of males and females as a human rights issue. I feel quite passionately about it in fact. If your child wants to be circumcised, he/she can make that decision for themselves later.

Please do read the Case Against Circumcision board and stickies here on MDC. Also visit www.nocirc.org for lots of info.

ps. I'm proud that my son (and future son) is not circumcised. I advocate constantly against circumcision in my extended family and friends. I have never once been ashamed that my son is not altered. Education, education, education: That's what people who would be disgusted by intact, natural genitals need.

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#11 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 02:52 AM
 
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We know our June baby is a boy and we are not having him circed. I honestly don't think anyone has ever commented on that to me. I did circ my first out of total ignorance. I had no idea that it was even something you had a choice on...ugh. Now I really regret that I allowed it to be done. Oh well, live and learn.
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#12 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 03:01 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Carlin View Post
We don't know if we're having a boy or a girl yet, but the decision for me was ridiculously simple. I just don't believe in cutting pieces off of my children.
:

i figure if we have a boy the decision should be left up to him. who are we to decide which parts of his body he gets to keep?
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#13 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 03:28 AM
 
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If I have a boy, he will be intact. I usually don't let anybody else change my kids' diapers, but if somebody were to say something, I think I would just give them a weird look and say I don't feel it's appropriate to discuss my children's private parts.

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#14 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 03:57 AM
 
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It was never an issue for us. DF said he didn't want it done and I didn't have to get on my soap box . It was actually a relief. The only comment I've gotten is from my mom saying that he would get teased in the locker room. I told her I'd teach him a snazy comeback that went a little something like "why are you looking at my penis anyway, that's kinda weird." I figure that will shut anyone up :-).

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#15 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 04:23 AM
 
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We're not planning to circ. DH isn't and my bro isn't either so I don't think anyone in the family will have anything negative to say, and no one else will know unless they ask. It would only make sense for me if we were part of a religion that does it. I knew someone who converted to Islam in his 20s and got it done then. At least then it was his decision.

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#16 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 04:32 AM
 
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It was never an issue for us. DF said he didn't want it done and I didn't have to get on my soap box . It was actually a relief. The only comment I've gotten is from my mom saying that he would get teased in the locker room. I told her I'd teach him a snazy comeback that went a little something like "why are you looking at my penis anyway, that's kinda weird." I figure that will shut anyone up :-).
That has always been my response to the locker room comment. Not to mention the rate is nearly 50% (I think) in this country so being intact isn't that unusual.

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#17 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 10:58 AM
 
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We did with our son, and I thought it was going to be a bit of a fight to change DH's mind this time. He was looking at my birth plan the other day and asked why the circumcision part was blank. That he thought the answer was no we weren't going to. (If it is a boy.) I asked him if he was sure and did he want to read some of the info. He said I had argued a good enough case for him. LOL. We'll have one that is and one that isn't, and that might be and interesting conversation someday. I'm not sure what the family will say, but considering they don't agree with most of our choices I really don't listen to them now.

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#18 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 11:11 AM
 
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L & E are intact and I guess their parents have gotten some weird looks, but people get over it and most won't be rude about it. Especially since it's almost 50/50 now, it's becoming much more normal. I guess in the hospital the nurses kept coming in to "check the circ" or say "oh you haven't had it done yet?" and the boys' dad got so mad that finally when another came in and said that, he looked at her and said, "No, we don't plan on ever torturing out son." My dh is circumcised and tells his friends it's "baby turture and just because my parents made a stupid decision doesn't mean I have to make it too."

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#19 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 11:32 AM
 
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While my DH originally wanted to circ, I gave him all the information out there on why I didn't want to. Basically, it's a cosmetic procedure and has no medical value as a routine infant thing. We ended up leaving our boys intact, and I'm really glad I did.

Anyway, I've had an intact boy for 4.5 years now, and only ONE person has ever asked me if I circ'd, and it was a crunchy friend of mine who asked because her son was intact and she was hoping that she had finally found a friend whose son was also intact. And of course, she had. Most people in my state still circ routinely. They don't even give it another thought. Most of my friends' boys are circ'd.

I've never had a babysitter say anything about the non-circ, even the women who have college age kids and likely circ'd their boys. No one has ever brought the subject up at all.

So for me, what other people think is a total non-issue, because it's none of their business, but also because even in my very pro-circ area, no one has ever mentioned it to me. Likewise, I don't go around asking people if they circ'd their boys. The only reason I know most of my friends circ is because I've been present during diaper changes and happened to see that they were. There are some that I don't know for sure, but I'd guess probably are. It's just not a topic that typically comes up in conversation though. I think most people that do get comments probably get them from family members. Thankfully, my family is not the type to badmouth my choices, and my DH's family mostly doesn't know, and his parents (who do know) are open to more "natural" choices.
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#20 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 12:06 PM
 
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my DP and i discussed it and came to an agreement based in large part on his experience since i don't have a penis.

i'll leave it at that.
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#21 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 12:21 PM
 
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Our son is intact but could have been circ'd if we had not been given info at our birth center/birth class. I just assumed it was done, despite having a European DH who is intact. He has always had issues though, so he was also initially pro-circ. It didn't take long, after reading through what is actually done, for us both to be horrified at the thought of doing that to a newborn. Despite the ongoing issues DH has, we both agreed that that our son would likely not have the same problems. And if he did, he could address it the way he felt appropriate when he was older.

My parents, especially my Mom, were initially surprised and upset that we didn't circ him. I just explained that it was not medically necessary and that the choice would belong to ds in the future. She dropped it and I've not heard anything since.

Around here it's just as common to see intact boys as it is circ'd.

We don't know the gender of this baby yet, but circ is a non-issue. It won't even be discussed this time around.
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#22 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 01:02 PM
 
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...how did you make your decision on whether to circ or not?
I've done limited research but I'm next to positive, pending medical issues like a poster below mentioned, we won't be doing it. Seems silly.

And whenever people comment on it, one way or the other, what did you say??

Basically... knowing that it's 'normal' to do in the USA, what do you say if someone babysits your little one and comments on it?
Or if you don't already have a little boy, what do you plan on saying?

Or am I the only crazy one that knows people are going to open their mouths? haha.
Not having a boy, but had one. I always viewed this as a religious decision. I am sure I won't be popular for saying this, but we have a circumcised son and I will circumcise any more boys we may have. In any case, if you decide not to circumcise, and get a question, you could always just say, "Oh, we are not Muslim or Jewish, so we didn't do that."
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#23 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 01:20 PM
 
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My son is not circ and if this is a boy he will not be. It's against my nature to do something medically, take medicine, etc without a damn good reason. We never really had any comments about my son. I expected some from the church daycare we used with him, but not a word ever. I did tell them when he started that changing his diaper did not need to include retracting in any way. It was never a big deal for us, we made the decision and that was that.
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#24 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 01:43 PM
 
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Hmm...he is coming into the world with foreskin, who am I to decide to have such a sensitive part of my son permanently cut off? Don't fix what's not broken. Oh, that and DH is not missing any parts either.

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#25 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 02:08 PM
 
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I'm not sure if this baby is a boy yet,
but with my son, we chose not to circumcise. (and of course won't with this one!)
It seemed kind of silly to me to have a home birth, and
then drive over to the hospital for a little cosmetic surgery

I haven't really had any bad responses to him being intact-
My only concern is that I make sure to tell everyone "DON'T retract the foreskin!"

It really scares me when people (for example) My MIL respond "Oh, I thought you were supposed to"

Yikes.

Emily Wife to Luke and Mama to: Violet 9-20-05 Fletcher 12-20-07 : and Owen 7-03-09
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#26 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 03:13 PM
 
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Wanted to chime in here because we have first hand experience.

My first is circ'd. Did so when we were much more mainstream, and after doing research, but I like to think we still weren't fully educated.

We will NEVER circ again (and my husband is circ'd fwiw). Now for medical and personal reasons. I agree w/ pp's - it is not my (or my husbands - whether he has a penis or not - he can decide about his OWN penis - not my sons') decision to make. It is my son's.

Also, my son had inguinal hernia's that required surgery to fix, and his circ was done so poorly it required surgical repair (done at the same time as the surgery). He had adhesion problems, and meatoplasty (where the opening to his urethra was not fully open).

I feel horrible for having circ'd our first - but it was a lesson for us and one that I don't take lightly. There is no medical reason to have one done and my story should show you that things CAN and DO go wrong. I'll never put a son through that again.

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#27 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 04:34 PM
 
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I know for some families it's a tough decision and there is a lot of information on this board (granted, anti-circ) that might help you with that decision.

We circ'd our first but I'm not sure that we'd do that again...I'm actually pretty sure we wouldn't. I wouldn't say I regret it but I do know more about it now.

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#28 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 06:30 PM
 
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Had our first child been a boy, we were planning on circumcising. For all the same ol' reasons- dh is, thought it was "cleaner", didn't want to be teased. Blessedly, she was a little girl and I was able to get more information before my second child (who did end up being a boy) was born. My two sons are intact, as will this one be if it's a boy.

I found out that only in American are boys circumcised for non-religious reasons, and that the majority of the world's intact men, not only didn't have problems with their penis' but preferred them that way. And that the gap between circumcised and intact boys in this country is closing. So the locker room argument doesn't hold water anymore because by the time our kids get to high school, there likely to be near as many intact boys as circed ones.

Initially, this was a source of contention between my dh and I but now it just isn't a big deal to him that they aren't "like him". He is glad that we didn't have to put them through it, he really hates seeing our babies in pain (like, it was really hard for him to handle the heel sticks in the hospital)

And, honestly, we didn't really get any comments either. Either no one cared, or they didn't care enough to bring it up with us. In my group of friends, all but one boy I can think of is intact (and this was in Kansas, which is where change happens last )

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#29 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 07:05 PM
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Read my sig.

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#30 of 45 Old 01-19-2009, 09:14 PM
 
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I found out that only in American are boys circumcised for non-religious reasons, and that the majority of the world's intact men, not only didn't have problems with their penis' but preferred them that way.
I really wonder if the problems reported from intact penises is maybe related to doctors pulling them back as babies? You shouldn't do that, yet so many doctors do!

On my due date lists and such, it's been the circ'd boys that had penile problems. There was ONE intact boy that had a problem, but he was born with a penile issue that had to be surgically fixed, and THAT was what caused his infection, not the fact that he was intact. He was circ'd during that surgery at a year old, and then they were at the hospital a week or two later for issues from the circ. No one seems to ever talk about the circ side effects that seem to be fairly common.
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