June 09 Homebirthing Tribe for February - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 90 Old 02-01-2009, 02:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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How's everyone doing? My latest dilemma is actually where to have this baby in my house. There will be more people at the birth this time (one more kid and one of my sisters to support the kids) and my bedroom isn't that big. I've loved having my babies in my bedroom so I can get right into bed, but I might have to shift my place to my living room!

Me : living with and loving papa and the kids: Dd1 8/97 , dd2 8/04 and my sweet baby ds 5/09 : :
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#2 of 90 Old 02-01-2009, 03:10 PM
 
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Doing good here. I don't know where I'll birth (as far as which room). We might not even be in this apartment!
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#3 of 90 Old 02-01-2009, 04:00 PM
 
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Right now I'm trying to figure out how to get pictures taken of the birth without having another person there. I might ask my midwives next week if they have any suggestions. Other than that everything is going good, and I'm feeling really positive about our choice to have this baby at home. I can't believe we are half way there!

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#4 of 90 Old 02-01-2009, 04:25 PM
 
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I'm trying to figure out if we could fit the birthing pool in my bedroom. I WANT to birth there, but I also want a pool. Luckily, my bedroom is seriously huge, but if my (lazy, lazy, lazy) husband doesn't finish flooring the kid's room in time, we'll have to put all her stuff in our room, and we won't be able to fit all that AND the pool.

So, my dilemma is how best to poke my husband with a stick without hurting our marriage.

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#5 of 90 Old 02-01-2009, 05:06 PM
 
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Our bedroom is tiny, so it is out for the birthpool. I'm thinking the living room will be the best place for us. It is carpeted so the floor won't be slippery, but the carpet is hideous so I really don't care if it gets wet. I'm pretty sure it's impossible to ruin. If I want it fairly dim, I can pull all the blinds shut and dim the lights. If I want sunlight I can open the front window blinds wide, and still have some privacy.

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#6 of 90 Old 02-01-2009, 05:26 PM
 
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hope you gals dont mind my chiming in here (I'm due at the end of May, so good chance I'll be here in June )

we are homebirthing too and plan to set the pool up in our bedroom, that way we can run the hose from our shower head right to the pool. I'm getting really excited as time gets closer, this will be my first homebirth and I just can't wait!!

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#7 of 90 Old 02-01-2009, 05:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Carlin View Post
Right now I'm trying to figure out how to get pictures taken of the birth without having another person there. I might ask my midwives next week if they have any suggestions. Other than that everything is going good, and I'm feeling really positive about our choice to have this baby at home. I can't believe we are half way there!
Same here. I want pictures and video, and need help with DD, but I can't think of anybody else I'd want here. Well, actually I know the perfect person for watching DD would be my brother, but he's not old enough to drive! He'd be so perfect b/c she'd play with him for hours without wanting us, and I know he'd want nothing to do with the birth. I'm afraid of asking one of our moms to watch her, b/c they'd be more concerned about the birth than her.

Hopefully b/t the midwife, her asst, and DH they can get it all covered.

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I'm trying to figure out if we could fit the birthing pool in my bedroom. I WANT to birth there, but I also want a pool. Luckily, my bedroom is seriously huge, but if my (lazy, lazy, lazy) husband doesn't finish flooring the kid's room in time, we'll have to put all her stuff in our room, and we won't be able to fit all that AND the pool.

So, my dilemma is how best to poke my husband with a stick without hurting our marriage.
Good luck with that! If all else fails, could your DH just put her stuff in another room and move it in after she's born?


We plan on buying a house before this baby gets here, so I don't even know where the pool woud be yet. I'm hoping in the bedroom, though. I guess it will depend on size and water access.

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#8 of 90 Old 02-01-2009, 06:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Same here. I want pictures and video, and need help with DD, but I can't think of anybody else I'd want here. Well, actually I know the perfect person for watching DD would be my brother, but he's not old enough to drive! He'd be so perfect b/c she'd play with him for hours without wanting us, and I know he'd want nothing to do with the birth. I'm afraid of asking one of our moms to watch her, b/c they'd be more concerned about the birth than her.

Hopefully b/t the midwife, her asst, and DH they can get it all covered.


While I can't say she's *requiring* it, my m/w is STRONGLY suggesting that I have someone in the house for the kids in case we need to transfer. Yuck.

Me : living with and loving papa and the kids: Dd1 8/97 , dd2 8/04 and my sweet baby ds 5/09 : :
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#9 of 90 Old 02-01-2009, 06:32 PM
 
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Carlin, I'm in the same boat in terms of photos. Actually, I'd really like a video of the birth but for some reason that freaks DH out a bit. I feel like I could plan to have the camera available but without a designated person to take photos everyone will be caught up in the moment and no one will take them!

As for the birth pool, it's going in the kitchen. We'll have to move the table but it's really the perfect location. We have sliding doors that look out into the woods so (if it's light out) the view should be lovely.

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#10 of 90 Old 02-01-2009, 06:46 PM
 
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Same here. I want pictures and video, and need help with DD, but I can't think of anybody else I'd want here. Well, actually I know the perfect person for watching DD would be my brother, but he's not old enough to drive! He'd be so perfect b/c she'd play with him for hours without wanting us, and I know he'd want nothing to do with the birth. I'm afraid of asking one of our moms to watch her, b/c they'd be more concerned about the birth than her.

Hopefully b/t the midwife, her asst, and DH they can get it all covered.


While I can't say she's *requiring* it, my m/w is STRONGLY suggesting that I have someone in the house for the kids in case we need to transfer. Yuck.
That's a lot to think about. DD has never been alone with anybody but us. I just hope I don't have to transfer.

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#11 of 90 Old 02-01-2009, 06:58 PM
 
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Carlin, I'm in the same boat in terms of photos. Actually, I'd really like a video of the birth but for some reason that freaks DH out a bit. I feel like I could plan to have the camera available but without a designated person to take photos everyone will be caught up in the moment and no one will take them!
DH actually really wants it taped. What I'm worried about is that if no one is in charge of the video, DH will be fiddling with it and I won't be able to get his attention when I need him.

Do you think it's the sort of thing the backup midwife would be willing to do?

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#12 of 90 Old 02-01-2009, 07:02 PM
 
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I have been trying to figure out the same thing...which room to have the bab in? Dh is a little freaked about where to put the tub because we just had major flooding in our house and all the flooring is brand new. It may be a moot point because depending on the tub we use, the living room may be the only place big enough.
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#13 of 90 Old 02-01-2009, 07:54 PM
 
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Rachaelsmommy, that is an option. The current plan, regardless of whether or not the floor is done, is to have a cosleeper, changing table, and glider in our room. If the floor isn't done, there will also be at least a dresser as well.

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#14 of 90 Old 02-01-2009, 08:31 PM
 
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So excited that our homebirth is now back on. Right now things are going well. Just getting settled with my midwife. Not quite sure where we're planning on putting the birth pool but I'm thinking either the living room or maybe the baby's room (if we decide not to have it all set up). I'd ideally like to have a little privacy and not have to labor in front of everyone in the living room. I'm planning on the midwife being there, DF, my mom, and a friend to take professional pics for us. Initially I had a friend coming from out of state that volunteered to be my doula but I honestly am nervous about depending on that. She's not usually 100% dependable as far as travel goes and I'd hate to rely on her and then her not come through. So I've really been thinking about hiring a doula or perhaps getting another good support person there. What do you guys think???

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#15 of 90 Old 02-01-2009, 09:33 PM
 
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i guess i am officially part of this tribe now! i have been spending the week trying to do things to make dh more comfortable with hb. we are having another midwife friend of ours come early on in labor now so that dh won't be nervous. she was the midwife at my last birth and has since retired, but she's psyched to come again. with that said, my birth is gonna be like a party compared to everyone else! i have my midwife, plus this other midwife, dh, dd, my great friend who happens to be my midwife's assistant (and a doula and a photographer), and my other close friend who is a doula. if this birth is anything like the last, i will enjoy the company. if not, i figure i can go to a different part of the house than them. we are not getting a birthing tub because it makes me dh extra nervous and i am fine with that. i have a bathtub. as far as where i will actually give birth, i have no plans. i learned the last time that you may think you want one thing, but when it comes down to it you want another. i am just going to go with the flow and see where i end up.
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#16 of 90 Old 02-01-2009, 10:31 PM
 
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Going well here! Starting to get anxious about having my u/s scheduled (still isn't!) but doing great and getting more excited! Can't believe we're already halfway!!!

As far as the birth for us, we're very lucky to have a large corner tub that I plan on laboring & hopefully also birthing in. If not, I'll move into our bed.

As far as the birth team and pictures, it will be DH, my mw, her asst (rn) and I have also hired a doula that will do whatever we wish basically. She's available to help with labor support, watching/playing with our son, preparing snacks for who needs them, and also takes pictures during the birth. I am planning on my son being there for the actual birth, but we'll see how that goes. If all else fails, my neighbors across the street (who know we're doing a homebirth) will take DS and play, etc.

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#17 of 90 Old 02-01-2009, 10:53 PM
 
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I can't believe we are over half way there either! My twin sister is a photographer (she photographs everything, including births!) so that part is totally taken care of since I want her there anyway. Then it will just be my dh, midwife and her assistant who is also a doula. I think I will invite my mom but she doesn't live here so I'm not sure if she'll make it. DH wants to set up the video camera on a tripod and I guess my sister can take care of moving it or turning it on and off or whatever. We also have a large bedroom, so the tub will be between our bed and the bathroom, with plenty of standing room. We are so excited! :

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#18 of 90 Old 02-02-2009, 02:25 AM
 
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Am I the only one who isn't picturing a water birth? It just doesn't seem appealing to me -- don't know why. I'm wondering if I'm missing something. With my last birth I needed to be standing up (in a ski-jumper like position) most of the time, but I did get in the shower, which was nice. I remember thinking that if I had one of those cattle troughs that are 5 feet tall, I might be able to be covered in water!

I get my ultrasound to find out baby's gender, and thus whether I'll do a homebirth, in less than two weeks. Normally I wouldn't find out the gender, but I need to this time for medical reasons, so now I'm actually excited! I get to know -- I'm really wondering. Looking forward to finding out. I know it may take some processing, too, because if it's a boy, he very well may have hemophilia -- and no matter how prepared I am from dealing with it for four years, I think it still takes processing. Of course, I wouldn't know for sure until the birth, because I didn't get amnio.

So I'll keep everyone updated, and keep an eye on what you all are doing to prepare. I won't really start preparing until I find out. And even if it's a boy, I could still be in this club -- we'll see. Looking forward to reading more updates...

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#19 of 90 Old 02-02-2009, 02:52 AM
 
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mbravebird: I don't envision a water birth. For some reason I feel like I'll give birth on my bed, though I plan to have a tub available. I'm a water person, and I tend to deal with things best in a bathtub. Seriously, it's great for de-stressing, thinking through stuff, re-invigorating myself, etc. etc. etc. I'm totally addicted. I'm not making any firm plans for birth, so we'll see what happens.

Good luck at the ultrasound!

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#20 of 90 Old 02-02-2009, 03:49 AM
 
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A couple of days ago I had a dream that I had the perfect birth (home, unassisted) with a 15 lb baby. It was a good confidence boost--kind of a "I can do it!" moment. I was telling my mom about it and she started getting all concerned about big baby and my ability to birth at home, and her worries that a midwife would freak out and maybe the midwife would drop me or pressure me into transferring care. Then she started talking about the "what ifs" of a big baby: damage, pain, etc. Those are the most fearful things I've heard her about the home birth. I then told her that if the reality was that my baby could be that big, I wouldn't want to be in a hospital anyway because hospitals would have no clue how to support a vaginal birth of a baby that size. I'd choose home anyway. Then she mentioned mortality and I told her about the statistics saying that homebirth mortality rates were statistically similar to hospital mortality rates, and that homebirth actually has better rates for morbidity (disease and other negative outcomes not resulting in death) than hospitals do. I asked her if she wanted to read some of the summaries of research that say that and she said she'd be interested: now I have find it. Anyone have a link that summarizies the studies that support that?

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#21 of 90 Old 02-02-2009, 04:14 AM
 
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I asked her if she wanted to read some of the summaries of research that say that and she said she'd be interested: now I have find it. Anyone have a link that summarizies the studies that support that?
Try some of these:

http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/330/7505/1416?ehom

http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/abstract/313/7068/1313

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9271961

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/en...ed&uid=7639843

http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/abstract/313/7068/1309

http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/full/166/3/315

http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/full/166/3/335

HTH!
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#22 of 90 Old 02-02-2009, 04:19 AM
 
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Am I the only one who isn't picturing a water birth? It just doesn't seem appealing to me -- don't know why. I'm wondering if I'm missing something. With my last birth I needed to be standing up (in a ski-jumper like position) most of the time, but I did get in the shower, which was nice. I remember thinking that if I had one of those cattle troughs that are 5 feet tall, I might be able to be covered in water!

I get my ultrasound to find out baby's gender, and thus whether I'll do a homebirth, in less than two weeks. Normally I wouldn't find out the gender, but I need to this time for medical reasons, so now I'm actually excited! I get to know -- I'm really wondering. Looking forward to finding out. I know it may take some processing, too, because if it's a boy, he very well may have hemophilia -- and no matter how prepared I am from dealing with it for four years, I think it still takes processing. Of course, I wouldn't know for sure until the birth, because I didn't get amnio.

So I'll keep everyone updated, and keep an eye on what you all are doing to prepare. I won't really start preparing until I find out. And even if it's a boy, I could still be in this club -- we'll see. Looking forward to reading more updates...
Giving birth in the water did not appeal to me for many years but I'm starting to think I might want to. I'm not 100% sure though. I know that I at least want the option there and I definitely want to be able to get in the water during labor. When I envision the birth though, I always imagine myself kneeling on dry land. I guess time will tell.

I hope that your ultrasound goes well!!! Let us know what you find out.
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#23 of 90 Old 02-02-2009, 05:06 AM
 
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I'm not envisioning a water birth! I talked to my husband last night about getting a birthing pool set up but I anticipating it only for labor and relaxation. If I were to guess how the baby would emerge, I'd say I'd be squating, leaning at the end of the bed, or supported by my husband.

M.Ed. Mama to Chunka (1/07), Beauty (5/09) and Elizabear 3/12): Birth Doula (working toward certification) AAMI Midwifery Student, Advocating with Solace for Mothers & The Birth Survey

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#24 of 90 Old 02-02-2009, 05:10 AM
 
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Those are great! Thanks for sharing. They are now bookmarked and being sent to the grandmama.

M.Ed. Mama to Chunka (1/07), Beauty (5/09) and Elizabear 3/12): Birth Doula (working toward certification) AAMI Midwifery Student, Advocating with Solace for Mothers & The Birth Survey

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#25 of 90 Old 02-02-2009, 07:12 AM
 
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Right now I'm trying to figure out how to get pictures taken of the birth without having another person there.
That's what my midwife is going to do! She knows that my last birth was UC and when she asked me what I wanted her to do I basically told her to not do anything. To that she clapped her hands and said "Yay, I get to take pictures!" She really is that hands off, too!

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Carlin, I'm in the same boat in terms of photos. Actually, I'd really like a video of the birth but for some reason that freaks DH out a bit. I feel like I could plan to have the camera available but without a designated person to take photos everyone will be caught up in the moment and no one will take them!

As for the birth pool, it's going in the kitchen. We'll have to move the table but it's really the perfect location. We have sliding doors that look out into the woods so (if it's light out) the view should be lovely.
For some reason I didn't want my DDs birth recorded and I so wish I had. I thought it would be weird to have it taped, but in all honesty I would have never notice it. We filmed my surro son's birth and I love watching it now. I wish I could figure out a way to share it. We had it posted on YouTube but they removed for "inappropriate content" but we can't figure out what was inappropriate about it-I wasn't swearing and amazingly there are no crotch, boob or butt shots in the whole thing. My mom said some OB must have been worried he'd loose patients if they saw it Anyway, I'm all for filming the birth! You only get one chance to do it and it's not like you have to show it to anyone.

I'm pretty sure this LO will be born in the dining room. It's the only logical place to set the birth pool up. I'm planning/hoping to be in the pool again, but who knows what will actually happen! I love being spontaneous, lol!

Trish~mama to Kaelie 5/03 and Amelia 12/13, surro mama to Aidan 2/08 & Ellyss 6/09, 

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#26 of 90 Old 02-02-2009, 10:15 AM
 
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About taping the birth- I am a twin and we were born naturally in a hospital in the 80s and my dad was able to tape the birth. It was our fave video to watch when we were little and I still love it! It's so awesome to see my mom just calmly talking one second and then pushing out babies the next. I was baby B so they put me right on my mom's chest and I just love watching that. I grew up knowing that this was normal birth (the calm, happy, naturalness of it all) and I love that. I wasn't terrified by the prospect of having children like so many of my friends growing up- all they had were horror stories. So while my sons may not totally appreciate it, I'd love to be able to give that to my daughters.

On water birth- I have no idea what I am going to end up wanting during labor/birth, but my midwife gives us a tub for free if we want it and I'd rather have it and not use it, than not have it and be wishing for it! We have the tub placed where it will be easy for me to move from the bed, to the tub, to the bathroom/toilet/shower, back to the bed or whatever I feel like doing. I have a friend who thought she wanted a waterbirth and ended up hating the feel of water on her during labor, so she didn't. Another friend thought she didn't want a waterbirth but ended up really wishing she had a tub during labor. I figure if I have my bases covered with that respect, I'll end up happy!

On dreams- A while ago I had a dream that I gave birth in a pool in my bathroom (which would never fit a birthing tub) and it was completely pain free. The midwife was the only one there, my sister and dh were downstairs and didn't know I was having the baby. I remember feeling surprised in my dream as I pushed that it didn't hurt, and then I lifted my baby girl up and just stared in wonder at her. She was beautiful and had these gorgeous light blue eyes and sandy blond hair. All the dreams dh or I have had were that the baby is a girl. We'll find out in June if they are right!

Mama to my little social butterfly 6/13/09

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#27 of 90 Old 02-02-2009, 11:27 AM
 
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I am really getting excited about this birth, especially now that I can call her by name and not just "baby"! I plan on having a waterbirth (did with my last and loved it), but I also know to trust my body and just do what feels right, ya know! Thankfully, we have a large master bed with a large master bath attached, so I do know I will be laboring in my room!

For those of you interested in photos/videos, for our last birth, my dh set up the video cam on a tri-pod when I got close (pretty much taped transition until after he was out which for me was 45 minutes) and my midwife's assistant was our photographer. She did a really awesome job...got lots of great shots and I was so happy that she offered b/c I really didn't think about it before hand.

So now I just feel like I am twiddling my thumbs, waiting for her to come! We will probably be having 3 baby showers, not to mention all the hand me down clothes so we have no real need to buy anything...even though I really, really want to!

Tanya, wife to my best friend momma to Blake 2/02, Jacob 5/04, Parker 12/05 and MaKenna : 6/09
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#28 of 90 Old 02-02-2009, 12:24 PM
 
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hello everyone!
I feel a little less prepared for this birth than I did for the last one. I know, I have a long way to go. I went to the dr. and she said that I am due 7/2 and that feels so soon! I know it is because this one is a surprise and the last one was planned, but still, I shouldn't let it affect me so much... plus, I had my blood pressure checked, and it was really low, so I have to go back to the OB more than just the 2 times that I was originally required to do... I didn't tell ya'll that I asked the midwife to recommend another OB, and she sent me to the most awesome woman ever! I am so relieved that I don't have to UC! this is my boyfriends first child, and I was a little worried that he would not know what to do or expect... I know that I should have faith, but that isn't my strong suit... So now I am not high risk, but I am high risk for a homebirth, but the OB is great, and she said that she would watch my BP and as long as I stay healthy I will be clear for a homebirth. I am so looking forward to a waterbirth!!! I don't know why... the thought was so negative last time, I just knew that I didn't want one, and then in active labor, I would have killed for a bathtub. I hope that everyone is doing well and are better prepared than I.
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#29 of 90 Old 02-02-2009, 12:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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mbravebird - good luck and let us know what you find out. Even if it is a boy, I'm hoping you'll have the hb you want.

I'm not going to be in the water for this birth. I did get in my bathtub with hb #1, and it slowed my labor significantly. I like the feeling of being grounded on the earth and for hb #2 I was on my hands and knees.

Me : living with and loving papa and the kids: Dd1 8/97 , dd2 8/04 and my sweet baby ds 5/09 : :
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#30 of 90 Old 02-02-2009, 03:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carlin View Post
Do you think it's the sort of thing the backup midwife would be willing to do?
I think it depends on the midwife. My midwife seems like she wouldn't mind at all, but who knows how the birth will go. She'll have an apprentice midwife with her but I haven't met her yet. I'm trying to convince myself to just go with the flow but I think I'll be upset later if there are no photos.

DD 5/25/09 :
5/22/11
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