Feel Like a Horrible Mother... - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 30 Old 05-19-2009, 03:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
chely7425's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wrote about this once before, and I have been trying to work through it but I am having such a hard time with it.

I don't want to breast feed this baby. I had an awful time of it with Trevor despite seeing an awesome LC and having tons of support. This time we are in middle of nowhere Louisiana with no good LCs nearby and no family. I hated breast feeding my son, I did it till being pregnant killed my milk supply (he was 8ish months) but I hated every second and resented him a lot of the time for needing it. He was a snacker and nursed a lot and just... I hated it. I know I have to breast feed this baby, and this one could be a dream to nurse but just the thought of doing it again makes me queasy. What the hell am I supposed to do??

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
chely7425 is offline  
#2 of 30 Old 05-19-2009, 03:57 PM
 
musiclady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: SC
Posts: 1,490
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by chely7425 View Post
I wrote about this once before, and I have been trying to work through it but I am having such a hard time with it.

I don't want to breast feed this baby. I had an awful time of it with Trevor despite seeing an awesome LC and having tons of support. This time we are in middle of nowhere Louisiana with no good LCs nearby and no family. I hated breast feeding my son, I did it till being pregnant killed my milk supply (he was 8ish months) but I hated every second and resented him a lot of the time for needing it. He was a snacker and nursed a lot and just... I hated it. I know I have to breast feed this baby, and this one could be a dream to nurse but just the thought of doing it again makes me queasy. What the hell am I supposed to do??

maybe this baby will be a dream. try it and see.

other option:
pump and bottle feed?
formula

jjust do what you can do and don't feel bad about it.

Married to my best friend, expecting #1 6/09. Little angel came early- 4/10/09, 2lbs 5oz. Lilah Grace:
musiclady is offline  
#3 of 30 Old 05-19-2009, 03:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
chely7425's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have a really good pump but didn't have a ton of luck with it last time... I know the most important thing is that the baby is fed and happy and taken care of, but I feel like I will be looked down upon or looked down upon for NOT BFing...

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
chely7425 is offline  
#4 of 30 Old 05-19-2009, 04:04 PM
 
phrogger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,157
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think the key would be give yourself a time limit to reevaluate things.

Give yourself 2 weeks with nursing, see how it goes, if this baby is a pro, it might make all your fears just slip away, if not, and you are having a difficult time again, try pumping and the bottle for 3 to 4 weeks after that, while still trying to nurse at times. See what happens.

If after the 6 weeks, it is just too much with two babies, a family to take care of a difficulty with nursing, you can consider your other options, like pumping 3 times a day and supplementing or just stopping, but either way, give yourself some time, but maybe a concrete time limit to evaluate things will help you not stress. Knowing there is a time line to see how perfect this nursing experience can be, or to reevaluate if things aren't easier this time.

Those dont' have to be the set time limits, but really think about how long you know you can push it before you have to think things through again.
phrogger is offline  
#5 of 30 Old 05-19-2009, 04:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
chely7425's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The time line thing is a good idea... with DS I said I was GOING to do it for at least 6 months, then I could stop. But with him I was living at home with my mom while DH finished basic and AIT and she BF all of us (me till 2.5 and my twin bro and sis till they were 4.5) so she was an awesome support. This time it is just me and DS1 and DH and he works a ton of hours and I just don't know...

Hopefully like you said this baby is a dream to nurse and it won't be a problem, I think giving it 2 weeks is a good idea though, I should have DH home for about that long after the birth so he would be able to take care of DS.

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
chely7425 is offline  
#6 of 30 Old 05-19-2009, 04:08 PM
 
Voltige's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 928
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I couldn't pump last time either. Maybe it will be different this time. Just try and see how it goes. So many people have vastly different nursing experiences with different babies. Maybe it will be easier. Maybe you will even enjoy it. But if not, don't beat yourself up about it. I remember crying to my DH in those early days that I wish I was formula feeding and had had a c-section. I was soooo miserable. It's really, really difficult if you don't have a good support group. I was fortunate to find a great group of people when my son was about 4 months old and it made ALL the difference.

I hope it works out for you this time, but if not, there are worse things than formula, and that includes resenting your child. Do what you need to do, mama.
Voltige is offline  
#7 of 30 Old 05-19-2009, 04:19 PM
 
MeepyCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 3,749
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 50 Post(s)
I'm all in favor of breastfeeding, but in your shoes? I say, forgive yourself now.

There is more to parenting than infant nutrition. There is even more to infant care than infant nutrition. Happy mamas are more likely to have happy babies, so do what you need to do. If that means stock up on formula now, do it. If that means try to breastfeed, but give yourself permission to switch to formula, do that.

IMO, it's more important not to burden your relationship with your new baby with dread and guilt than it is to do everything the One Right Way.
MeepyCat is online now  
#8 of 30 Old 05-19-2009, 04:22 PM
 
blessedwithboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,582
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
def tell yourself you will try for a set perios of time and reevaluate. my ds1 was hard to nurse, but my ds2 was so easy. you may just have a totally different experience the second go around, and if you dont, you can relieve any neg feelings by knowing at least your db got colosturm

Bring back the old MDC
blessedwithboys is online now  
#9 of 30 Old 05-19-2009, 04:39 PM
 
kamane18's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 845
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm setting myself up to be flamed here, but I don't plan to BF this baby. I WILL do colostrum but that's probably all. I had a HORRIBLE time BFing DD. My milk never fully came in (and I am allergic to fenugreek and blessed thistle) and I have a severe Vitamin D deficiency and hormonal imbalances. I tried and was super upset about it but in the end gave up and switched to formula after about two weeks. Today DD is almost 4, super smart and strong and actually only ever had one minor ear infection her whole life.

I still have the same medical issues plus we are in the middle of a very stressful move and sale of our house and I have some family health issues going on right now too. I was considering trying to BF for at least 4-6 weeks but found myself very stressed and depressed over that and was worried it would make me sad and/or resent this little one.

I plan to give this baby organic formula (we've done a lot of research and chosen Baby's Only) and will practice feeding on demand still, and bottle feed with love (just as I did with DD). Just what is best for me and my family and this time I'm not letting myself feel bad about it!

Hugs to you whatever you decide.

Happy mama to DD (8-11-05) and DS (6-5-09) and married to my best friend and love of my life since 10-13-01.
kamane18 is offline  
#10 of 30 Old 05-19-2009, 06:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
chely7425's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by kamane18 View Post
I'm setting myself up to be flamed here, but I don't plan to BF this baby. I WILL do colostrum but that's probably all. I had a HORRIBLE time BFing DD. My milk never fully came in (and I am allergic to fenugreek and blessed thistle) and I have a severe Vitamin D deficiency and hormonal imbalances. I tried and was super upset about it but in the end gave up and switched to formula after about two weeks. Today DD is almost 4, super smart and strong and actually only ever had one minor ear infection her whole life.

I still have the same medical issues plus we are in the middle of a very stressful move and sale of our house and I have some family health issues going on right now too. I was considering trying to BF for at least 4-6 weeks but found myself very stressed and depressed over that and was worried it would make me sad and/or resent this little one.

I plan to give this baby organic formula (we've done a lot of research and chosen Baby's Only) and will practice feeding on demand still, and bottle feed with love (just as I did with DD). Just what is best for me and my family and this time I'm not letting myself feel bad about it!

Hugs to you whatever you decide.
Thank you so much for this!! When we had to switch DS to formula at 8 months we always held him and cuddled him while he had his bottle and we still fed on demand... I almost feel like me and him had a much better relationship after we switched. I think I will give myself 2 weeks and see how that goes. Sadly we can't do organic formula, we have to do something WIC will give us if we end up not BFing because we can't afford to buy an organic formula.

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
chely7425 is offline  
#11 of 30 Old 05-19-2009, 06:16 PM
 
kamane18's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 845
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by chely7425 View Post
Thank you so much for this!! When we had to switch DS to formula at 8 months we always held him and cuddled him while he had his bottle and we still fed on demand... I almost feel like me and him had a much better relationship after we switched. I think I will give myself 2 weeks and see how that goes. Sadly we can't do organic formula, we have to do something WIC will give us if we end up not BFing because we can't afford to buy an organic formula.
I know, it's going to be a major strain on us to afford the organic formula but assuming this baby doesn't have dairy allergies (DD was milk intolerant until about 9 months) we are cutting the budget in other ways to somehow pay for it. Will WIC do Similac organic even? That way no growth hormones in the formula at least. Some great recipes for homemade formulas too on the Weston Price website too - I know some people that swear by them.

Or some people go the donated breastmilk route too.

Whatever you do, don't a bad mommy - quite the opposite! You obviously care so much about your DS and this new one too to care/stress about it so much.

Happy mama to DD (8-11-05) and DS (6-5-09) and married to my best friend and love of my life since 10-13-01.
kamane18 is offline  
#12 of 30 Old 05-19-2009, 08:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
chely7425's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
WIC would only do similac organix IF a dr wrote a script for it and then only if I could actually find it around here... I should look into homemade too. Sucks being on such a tight budget, we really have nowhere to cut anything...

Quote:
Originally Posted by kamane18 View Post
I know, it's going to be a major strain on us to afford the organic formula but assuming this baby doesn't have dairy allergies (DD was milk intolerant until about 9 months) we are cutting the budget in other ways to somehow pay for it. Will WIC do Similac organic even? That way no growth hormones in the formula at least. Some great recipes for homemade formulas too on the Weston Price website too - I know some people that swear by them.

Or some people go the donated breastmilk route too.

Whatever you do, don't a bad mommy - quite the opposite! You obviously care so much about your DS and this new one too to care/stress about it so much.

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
chely7425 is offline  
#13 of 30 Old 05-19-2009, 11:48 PM
 
PoppyMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In my own delusions.
Posts: 3,305
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I breastfed both of my older ones and it worked for me. Honestly, I just don't give a rat's butt if other people breast or formula feed. Be happy and love your babies
PoppyMama is offline  
#14 of 30 Old 05-20-2009, 12:38 AM
 
beachcomber's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Vancouver Island, Canada
Posts: 1,449
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by chely7425 View Post
I have a really good pump but didn't have a ton of luck with it last time... I know the most important thing is that the baby is fed and happy and taken care of, but I feel like I will be looked down upon or looked down upon for NOT BFing...
There are lots of moms out there who don't or can't breastfeed. For lots of reasons. Poor supply, having to return to work, whatever. I've got a friend who lives in Louisiana (fairly rural) and she tells me that breastfeeding there is uncommon. So you may not be as out of league with your neighbors as you think if you don't breastfeed.

The bottom line is that you have to do what's right for you as well as for your baby. If you and your husband/partner can afford formula then, by all means, use it. Formula will take care of your baby's needs - perhaps not as optimally as breast milk but it will do the job.

If your mental health and sanity requires that you formula feed, then do it. You need to be able to be a good mom to both your baby and your son. Being edgy, stressed out, tense or depressed over breastfeeding and the internal guilt over hating it isn't going to help you be there for your kids at all hours of the day and night. Do what you have to do to best support the needs of your family and yourself.

Don't waste any energy or time over guilt. It's a totally useless emotion and does you no good at all. Also, it doesn't matter at all what other people think of you. They have no knowledge of your situation. They can have as many opinions as they want. None of them matter. If there are people around you being judgmental about it, cut them out of your circle of support. You don't need that.

Hugs to you, Chely.

Weary SuperMama superhero.gifto my  amazing neurodiverse 6 y.o. DD hearts.gif and to my on-the-go neurotypical 3 y.o. DS wild.gif

beachcomber is offline  
#15 of 30 Old 05-20-2009, 12:41 AM
 
beachcomber's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Vancouver Island, Canada
Posts: 1,449
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
WIC would only do similac organix IF a dr wrote a script for it and then only if I could actually find it around here...
Look into ordering it from online pharmacies. Seriously. You can get just about anything online nowadays. Even groceries.

Weary SuperMama superhero.gifto my  amazing neurodiverse 6 y.o. DD hearts.gif and to my on-the-go neurotypical 3 y.o. DS wild.gif

beachcomber is offline  
#16 of 30 Old 05-20-2009, 12:49 AM
 
erin_brycesmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,051
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Do you know what specifically you did not like about it? What did you hate?

Maybe not the most popular view but I'm not a fan of LCs in general. IMO they usually do more harm than good. I'd say it is probably good that you don't have access to one this time around and I bet things are way easier for you without one. Have lots of skin to skin contact with your baby. No shirt on you, no shirt on baby...constantly. For days, weeks if needed. The touch of your skin and baby's skin is how you learn. Check out Ashley Montagu's work and writings on breastfeeding.
erin_brycesmom is offline  
#17 of 30 Old 05-20-2009, 09:10 AM
 
ErinsJuneBug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,367
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
what about donor milk?

I would atleast try - because you're right it could totally be different this time. I dont know if its the same, but at the end of our nursing relationship when DD was around 2 1/2 and very clingy i was starting to resent nursing her. I didnt want to wean her suddenly during this time and i knew i needed to stick it out for a few more months - so i really tried to love on her while she nursed. Instead of thinking about her nursing i would look in her eyes and kiss her face and think about how much i loved her and how special she was to me.
ErinsJuneBug is offline  
#18 of 30 Old 05-20-2009, 09:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
chely7425's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ordering formula online isn't really an option because we can't afford it, we have to use WIC. DH doesn't make a ton of money and I don't work and even if I DID work, paying for 2 babies in daycare would take up everything I made.

I didn't like ANYTHING about breast feeding. The first couple weeks were painful while we figured out the latch thing, then once we figured that out I just hated being CLUNG to all the time. I hated having a baby stuck to my boob 24/7 and just... I don't even know. It isn't even an issue with breast feeding, I don't care if someone else has both boobs hanging out just for me I hate it. That may not make much sense... I would just be so happy when he was done nursing then cringe when he wanted it again.

I would love to be able to just sit around with this baby and bond and try and nurse but with DH being in the Army and all that that entails along with a 13 month old running around like a crazy person I don't know how realistic that is.

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
chely7425 is offline  
#19 of 30 Old 05-20-2009, 10:14 AM
 
maxwill129's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 2,897
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just wanted to encourage you and tell you that with my first child we had HUGE problems that ended in me switching to formula at 3 weeks. My last two I have breastfed successfully. If you want to breastfeed, try it, but if you decided you don't even want to try, please don't feel like a bad mom. You just need to do what is best for the baby AND you (sometimes people forget that the mom has needs, too!).
maxwill129 is offline  
#20 of 30 Old 05-20-2009, 11:07 AM
 
musiclady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: SC
Posts: 1,490
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i couldn't agree with you guys more- some people legitimately can't BF and some people choose not to. it doesn't mean that you aren't providing for your children if you choose to go the formula route.

i would second the colostrum route. most hospitals will provide you with a pump while you are a patient in hospital. go for it. the colostrum goes a long way to provide necessary nutrition for babies and also helps babies avoid serious problems like NEK.

I'm sure everyone already knows that....

Married to my best friend, expecting #1 6/09. Little angel came early- 4/10/09, 2lbs 5oz. Lilah Grace:
musiclady is offline  
#21 of 30 Old 05-20-2009, 11:50 AM
 
boscopup's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,988
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)
I agree with doing whatever ends up making you and baby happy and healthy.

I also want to say that this baby could be completely different. My first was the type to nurse every 1.5-2 hours round the clock. My second? He was so efficient that he'd nurse in about 10 minutes and only do it every 4 hours! He even slept 4 hours at night from the first night. I was shocked. We did have latch issues to work through (short tongue - made it difficult to get latched, but once he was latched, he was incredibly efficient), and that took about 6 weeks, but then it became super easy and I just couldn't believe how little he nursed. He NEVER comfort nursed. He only nursed for food, and it was a quick nursing session.

My friend's second baby was the exact same way as mine too, and her first had been a big comfort nurser like my first had been.

Have you checked into LLL in your area? I usually prefer LLL leaders over LCs anyway (in general - there are good LCs out there).

Mama to Tornado Boy (6/04), The Brute (11/06), and Mischief (05/09)... expecting in February '15
boscopup is online now  
#22 of 30 Old 05-20-2009, 12:24 PM
 
goin' green's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Fort Wayne, IN
Posts: 815
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree that you need to do what's best for you and baby, and if BFing is going to cause guilt/resentment, then clearly that is not the best path. But, I also think it can't hurt to try, unless you REALLY hate even the thought of it. I think you have to be open to it, or else you're really just setting yourself up for failure.

I have to disagree with the LCs comment though. I think in most cases, they are great, and there are a few that do more harm than good. For me, mine was a blessing. I had horrible latch initially (hospital I delivered at didnt have an LC on staff, so I saw one that worked through a local BFing-type store), and then she later helped me when i was convinced I had thrush, which I did.

There are too many things we have to deal with in our roles as parents to set ourselves up for guilt so early on. So don't! Make the decision that's best for your family and KNOW you've made the right one. You obviously care or it woudln't upset you this much. Don't be so hard on yourself!

  SAHM CrossFitting mama to DS (6) and DD (3) and surprise #3 due in September!  winner.jpg familybed1.gif homebirth.jpg

 

***4***8***12***16***20***24***28***32***36*heartbeat.gif*40**

goin' green is offline  
#23 of 30 Old 05-20-2009, 12:26 PM
 
goin' green's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Fort Wayne, IN
Posts: 815
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh -and jsut throwing this out there, (not necessarily to the OP) but help doesn't HAVE to come in the form of an LC either. I found Jack Newman's site on BFing and his videos super helpful, kellymom.com, as well as LLL groups. There you might not necessarily find a LC, but women who have years of experience with BFing.

  SAHM CrossFitting mama to DS (6) and DD (3) and surprise #3 due in September!  winner.jpg familybed1.gif homebirth.jpg

 

***4***8***12***16***20***24***28***32***36*heartbeat.gif*40**

goin' green is offline  
#24 of 30 Old 05-20-2009, 12:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
chely7425's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The closest LLL that I can find is about an hour away... which is probably not doable, but if I really need it maybe, though it would involve getting DH's command to give him time off to take me since we only have one car. I think I will commit to trying for 2 weeks, because I should have help around for that long for DS1. Thank you guys so much for your support

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
chely7425 is offline  
#25 of 30 Old 05-20-2009, 12:55 PM
 
goin' green's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Fort Wayne, IN
Posts: 815
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Then maybe the online resources I mentioned?

For me DS was born on the Thursday before 4th of July - went home from hospital on Saturday - I woke up Sunday engorged, in tons of pain and would literally weep through each nursing session. Our latch was just killing my nipples. So, I called LLL and the local nursing store (where the LC was). NO ONE could see me til Weds (the 4th was on Tuesday). I had no idea how I was going to make it through til then. We had no formula, as I refused to take any home with me. So, hubby (who was so great) sent me to bed to sleep, and when I woke up I watched some of the latching videos on Jack Newmans' site. Totally got me through til Weds without supplementing (not that supp'ing is bad - I personally just didn't want to go down that road). Anyway, that experience was followed by 2 painful bouts of thrush as well.

Long story short, I was much more mainstream then and really had no plans to nurse past 6 mos. 2.5 years later, I gently weaned my son after I became pregnant with #2. I loved it too much to stop!

This experience can be different for you. Just don't forget that part and start believing it!

  SAHM CrossFitting mama to DS (6) and DD (3) and surprise #3 due in September!  winner.jpg familybed1.gif homebirth.jpg

 

***4***8***12***16***20***24***28***32***36*heartbeat.gif*40**

goin' green is offline  
#26 of 30 Old 05-20-2009, 01:04 PM
 
phrogger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,157
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by chely7425 View Post
The closest LLL that I can find is about an hour away... which is probably not doable, but if I really need it maybe, though it would involve getting DH's command to give him time off to take me since we only have one car. I think I will commit to trying for 2 weeks, because I should have help around for that long for DS1. Thank you guys so much for your support
have your ped write a script for you to see a LC and give it to DH's command and they might be able to write him TAD orders and pay for the mileage.

I live in a rural area and ANYTHING like that, that I have to go to out of our immediate area, the command will pay our mileage. It isn't a ton, but at least will get the gas paid for.
phrogger is offline  
#27 of 30 Old 05-20-2009, 01:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
chely7425's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by phrogger View Post
have your ped write a script for you to see a LC and give it to DH's command and they might be able to write him TAD orders and pay for the mileage.

I live in a rural area and ANYTHING like that, that I have to go to out of our immediate area, the command will pay our mileage. It isn't a ton, but at least will get the gas paid for.
Really?? I totally didn't know this!!!! Definitely worth a shot...

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
chely7425 is offline  
#28 of 30 Old 05-20-2009, 01:07 PM
 
phrogger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,157
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by chely7425 View Post
Really?? I totally didn't know this!!!! Definitely worth a shot...
My DH is Navy, so I hope the Army does the same thing, but basically, you know how tricare is supposed to pay for your mileage if it is more then 100 miles round trip, well since that doesn't always happen, the commands do sometimes pay for it. We were just reminded of this because my step son has to go to a psychologist 45 miles away (under the 100 miles round trip).
phrogger is offline  
#29 of 30 Old 05-20-2009, 02:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
chely7425's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by phrogger View Post
My DH is Navy, so I hope the Army does the same thing, but basically, you know how tricare is supposed to pay for your mileage if it is more then 100 miles round trip, well since that doesn't always happen, the commands do sometimes pay for it. We were just reminded of this because my step son has to go to a psychologist 45 miles away (under the 100 miles round trip).
Definitely something to look into!! Sucks living in such a podunk little town sometimes

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
chely7425 is offline  
#30 of 30 Old 05-20-2009, 03:38 PM
 
phrogger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,157
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by chely7425 View Post
Definitely something to look into!! Sucks living in such a podunk little town sometimes
Tell me about it. It took me a LONG time to get used to living in cow country. I lived in San Diego my whole life, then moved to Central CA for DH and it was a huge adjustment. At least the military is realizing that it isn't fair to everyone.
phrogger is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off