What are you doing about birth control after this baby? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 57 Old 05-20-2009, 05:53 AM
 
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I really don't know. Seems we're the poster children for "Use Protection!"

Although it's my first, it only took us 2 tries to get it right. He has 3 others (adults now) from a previous marriage... I dunno.....

I struggle because in a way I'd like to have another because the whole process ended up being so different than I wanted- two SS ending up preggers, Pre-E, C-section, preemie/NICU.... and in a way, I don't ever want to repeat the emotional stress and "down times" that I've had.

I'm hesitant to do anything permanent, so I guess we'll go back to BC. But when/if we decide we're done, I think I'd rather do the V. I have had enough taking pills every day, and I'm 34. I think after a while age is a factor for increased risk with BC.

Grah.... been almost 6 weeks PP, so.... no signs of AF yet. And seriously- no signs of DTD yet either. Geez... this whole experience put a significant cap on my libido!!!

So, I guess that right now our BC is abstinance. THAT WON'T LAST (right? I hope?!?!?)

Married to my best friend, expecting #1 6/09. Little angel came early- 4/10/09, 2lbs 5oz. Lilah Grace:
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#32 of 57 Old 05-20-2009, 09:45 AM
 
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Creighton Model of NFP at least at first. We haven't actually talked about what, if anything, we might do permanently. We've successfully used Creighton for 6 years, planning each child and avoiding inbetween. I did use temps when getting preg with this one because my cycles were so wonky, I wanted to see a little extra of what was going on, but I don't think temps will be at all useful for me for avoiding, so I won't bother with temping. I've used CM-only (no cervix position checking or anything like that) for the whole 6 years and it worked great. A good teacher is really worth it. Also, my Creighton teacher was cheap. I think it ended up being about $80 for a whole year's worth of classes, and she continued with free followups after the class series was over, plus she checked on me through pregnancy and postpartum, etc. The only reason I don't still have followups with her is that she retired from teaching and she moved to be closer to her grandkids.

We don't plan any more kids, but I am NOT getting a tubal or anything permanently done to me. I have enough friends that have had bad side effects (heavy, painful periods, really wonky hormones, etc.) that I am content with Creighton. DH may want to get a vas, although I am a bit leery of that too because men can also have side effects. So we'll see. We just haven't talked about it at all yet, and AF usually doesn't return until after a year anyway, so we have time to figure things out.

My Creighton teacher said that couples that are absolutely "done" have the best success rate at avoiding because they follow the rules to the letter. I feel like we'd probably do fine just using Creighton for the long haul, and we both feel "done" after this one.

Mama to Tornado Boy (6/04), The Brute (11/06), and Mischief (05/09)... expecting in February '15
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#33 of 57 Old 05-20-2009, 10:58 AM
 
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i'll probably go back to the nuvaring as soon as my doctor okays it. we are crazy fertile around here, hate condoms, and not good at NFP. BCP made me crazy but the nuvaring worked like a dream for me.
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#34 of 57 Old 05-20-2009, 11:04 AM
 
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BananaBreadGirl

I fed on demand and cosleep (still!) and I got my first period 6 months after my DD was born. I can't tell you how bummed I was, either. I'd been looking forward to a nice long stretch of no period-related BS. So, those are no guarantee you'll have a long break before returning to fertility. Just so you know.
Yeah, I know it really varies for people, and I probably would have more success at keeping AF away if I was not going to be working part-time. Do you know if there are any other factors that tend to affect that length of time (mother's age or body type, first child vs. second/3rd/etc. child?).

I have one wonderful husband and one wonderful little toddler boy!
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#35 of 57 Old 05-20-2009, 12:13 PM
 
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Just a plug for Taking Charge of your Fertility by Toni Weschler for charting questions. As long as you have your period back, night nursing shouldn't really affect your charting at all. Check out the nursing while TTC board. I think there's a charting to avoid thread in there too.

As for me, I charted for the longest time with NO period, so that was pretty pointless. There was nothing going on....

I didn't get my period back for 24 mos pp after DS, so I'm not really too worried about it right now. Although I joked to my hubby, that since we expect the same pattern as last time, I'll end up preggo again at like 4 mos pp!

And if that happens, I think I'll be okay. I'm pretty sure I want at least on more. We've talked about 3 or 4 for forever so I just don't feel any real urge to do anything TOO permanent or anything just yet. If I get AF back sooner though then we'll discuss whether we're ready at that point, if we want more, etc.

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#36 of 57 Old 05-20-2009, 12:24 PM
 
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I have been on BCP once and will never. Never. NEVER do it again. It nearly killed me after 5 months. NO joke. And even through all that I was still ovulating and had a miscarriage.

Then we went back to the Lea Sheild we had been using. Bc I am hypothyriod, I can't use my temp as an accurate guide but my mucos has never let me down. Hence I only have to use the sheild for about a week every cycle. Plus, we are soo not done having babies, so by the time this one is 6 months I don't care if we have an "oops".

I for sure can't just wait to see when AF comes. Last time it was 9 weeks PP. Demand feeding and all.

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#37 of 57 Old 05-20-2009, 01:11 PM
 
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UGH. What a stressful question!
The two things that pop quickly into my mind are 1) abstinence 2) go back to being a lesbian...

Alas, the reality is that I will not use any pharmaceuticals and I've seen too much trouble with the Copper IUDs, everyone hates condoms (no?)...

I was pretty friggin' happy with my cervical cap for a long time but the failure rates increase significantly with parous women... I think the success rates drop to something in the 80%s...
I guess I can look back into LAM and NFP minus the temperature charting which makes me crazy. I guess I can do a combo of cap/half-*ssed NFP, maybe the combo of them will be enough...

Clinical Herbalist. Trained but never certified, licensed, or registered as a midwife.
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#38 of 57 Old 05-20-2009, 01:18 PM
 
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I wonder if the outcome of Essure can lead to PTLS or if it's just with the standard Tubal Ligation surgery. Essure causes scar tissue but doesn't actually cut off the blood supply to the ovaries. Hrm ...
I know more people who have had problems with essure then a tubal. So I don't think it is without complications. I will stick with the tubal, which, while there are complications, it is a process that has been around a lot longer. However, if I weren't having my 5th c-section, I probably would make my DH just get a vasectomy, but since I will be open anyway, might as well cut/burn/remove what ever they can.
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#39 of 57 Old 05-20-2009, 03:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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*Sigh*
I'm really bummed by the fact that even with on demand feeding my periods might come back a month or two PP

DH and I are soooo fertile together...despite my many 'oopsies' in high school and college, I had never gotten pregnant. Well, we had unprotected sex two times and got pregnant. We miscarried and a week later got pregnant again, the one and only time we had sex that month. So I don't want to take any chances...this has been a HARD pregnancy for me (well, weeks 15-28 were okay. Before that I was soooo sick and after that I've been in pain and huge and miserable) and I can't imagine wanting to get pregnant again for awhile. Also, I really want to be sure I can nurse this babe until she is a year...

NFP seems like the only option at this point, but it makes me sooo nervous to think about that. I feel like it's ALL on me to make sure we don't get pregnant, other than saying, "Oh, we could get pregnant right now so let's not DTD." And what if I mess up?? We have no other backup to be sure we don't get pregnant. This is the first time in my life that I really, really don't want to get pregnant (I've wanted a baby since I was about 17, to be totally honest :-P) and the idea of it happening when I really don't want it to is kind of terrifying...

Single mama to S ~ 6/09

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#40 of 57 Old 05-20-2009, 03:49 PM
 
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We talked about getting my tubes tied but I'm a firm believer in post tubal ligation syndrome after seeing it in so many people I've known & cared for.
umm...eek. I just read up about this a little. It sounds terrifying, and I've really had more than enough crap from surgical complications, etc..

*sigh*
I guess I'll think about it a little more...

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#41 of 57 Old 05-20-2009, 08:06 PM
 
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Nothing. Dh is deploying and I still haven't decided if I'm done yet. When we are done having kids, he will get a vasectomy.

: Mom to a wonderful teen girl, a happy little boy and a cute baby girl
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#42 of 57 Old 05-20-2009, 10:23 PM
 
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umm...eek. I just read up about this a little. It sounds terrifying, and I've really had more than enough crap from surgical complications, etc..

*sigh*
I guess I'll think about it a little more...
Yeah I was all for having one asap until I made friends with ladies who had horrific side effects & of course the dr's only solution is hysterectomy. Then I started seeing it more & more in patients I was caring for...

I imagine it will be like a lot of other side effects that 'Oops we didn't know about that' will be the excuse & years down the road they'll start putting it out there as a possible complication.

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#43 of 57 Old 05-21-2009, 12:48 AM
 
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My husband is getting a vasectomy asap

Emily Wife to Luke and Mama to: Violet 9-20-05 Fletcher 12-20-07 : and Owen 7-03-09
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#44 of 57 Old 05-21-2009, 12:09 PM
 
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I am done having kids. This is my 5th and we can not have any more. We just can't.

I am having my tubes tied, which I swore I would NEVER do. AND dh is getting a vasectomy. May sound like over kill. But I have finally come to conclusion that NO MORE BABIES.

NFP worked ok for us. But I do not start my period or ovulating for 18 months PP so when it comes, if surprises me. Like this last time. I had one period and BOOM pregnant! (dd was 18 month old) Iknow I can always tell when I am ovulating, but that last time, was a shocker. I do not want to play that game for the next forever. Now that I know I am done having kids, I would like to get my tubes tied.

nurse, mama, doula-in-training to J-14, J-13, S-7, S-4, and P-2(born at home)
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#45 of 57 Old 05-26-2009, 09:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow. So we decided we really couldn't spend the money on the natural family planning class, as my car broke down and our extra $$ (what little we have that hasn't been spent on baby stuff lol) needed to go to that. When I told the teacher we weren't going to be taking the class after all, he spoke to the chapter leader, who was able to get us a full scholarship!! I know I could easily just read a book and figure it out on my own, but I feel so much better having DH and I signed up to learn about it from people who've been using it effectively. Plus we will BOTH be doing it...not just me! So that makes me feel better too.

Just wanted to share in case there was anyone else who may want to take the class but not have the $$ to spend for the class...you may be able to get help!

Single mama to S ~ 6/09

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#46 of 57 Old 05-26-2009, 12:46 PM
 
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So DH right away volunteered to get a vasectomy after I said, "this one is the last." Sweet man. Anyone have personal experience with this? (pregnant ladies are probably the wrong ones to be asking but...) Anyone know a man who did it and regretted it? Side effects?

Thanks gals.
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#47 of 57 Old 05-26-2009, 03:26 PM
 
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lol dh just got snipped last week! This is #4 and we are totally done. It was easy as pie, no pain or anything. A little tender. And a few days out he now has a little bruising. Anyway, I'm really glad, but wouldn't have done it if I weren't 110% sure I didn't want another preg.

Otherwise, we've used spermicide gel in the applicators for years, and as long as we're consistent, they've been super effective. Consistency is key! Condoms totally turn me off, so this has been a great, non hormonal way to do BC.

Ugh, it's so hard. but hopefully if you're breastfeeding exclusively, you won't have to worry about it for a while, right?!
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#48 of 57 Old 05-26-2009, 04:31 PM
 
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My 2 cents, for what it is worth:

1. no surgery. Just a personal choice though, so no thoughts on risks.

2. No condoms or diaphragms or pills. Yes, everyone hates condoms. Diaphragms may be great if you have long fingers, but my experience is that it takes a crane to get them out. Pills make me wonky and emotional.

3. Merena IUD is the greatest thing since sliced bread. It costs somewhere in the neighborhood of $500 (though many insurance plans will cover it) and it lasts for 5 years. I had one for 5 years, and had no babies for 5 years. When it is initially inserted, it causes mild cramping for a day or two, then about 4 weeks of bleeding. After that, it is almost 100% reliable, periods tend to be further apart and milder also. I had one about every six weeks for 2-3 days. It takes about 2 minutes (literally) to get it removed also.

4. I am toying with not doing anything and having one more child. We'll see. But if we decide to put off the one more child, I will get a Merina IUD at 6 months. With DD I nursed on demand and never had a period. Got pregnant with DS at 14 months Post partum. Since I am working full time now, I am not confident past that 6 month mark though.
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#49 of 57 Old 05-26-2009, 04:37 PM
 
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My 2 cents, for what it is worth:


3. Merena IUD is the greatest thing since sliced bread. It costs somewhere in the neighborhood of $500 (though many insurance plans will cover it) and it lasts for 5 years. I had one for 5 years, and had no babies for 5 years. When it is initially inserted, it causes mild cramping for a day or two, then about 4 weeks of bleeding. After that, it is almost 1005 reliable, periods tend to be further apart and milder also. I had one about every six weeks for 2-3 days. It takes about 2 minutes (literally) to get it removed also.
.
I have considered an IUD, but in the end, I can't morally justify what an IUD does, even though many women do not ovulate with the Merena, many still do and I just could deal with embryos not being allowed to implant if they are created, so I will stick with the tubal and prevent the creation of an embryo.
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#50 of 57 Old 05-26-2009, 04:43 PM
 
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I have considered an IUD, but in the end, I can't morally justify what an IUD does, even though many women do not ovulate with the Merena, many still do and I just could deal with embryos not being allowed to implant if they are created, so I will stick with the tubal and prevent the creation of an embryo.
Yeah--that it true. You have to be OK with that notion, and with the idea that if you do get pregnant, you may be advised to terminate. you also need to be monogamous or you run a greater risk of getting pelvic inflammatory disease. So it isn't for everyone. But I am OK with all that personally, so it just makes me happy for pharmaceutical companies, though I can't say I am usually their biggest fan.
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#51 of 57 Old 05-26-2009, 10:09 PM
 
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spermicide gel eh? that sounds a lot nicer than condoms, I just remember the sex talks in health class saying gel wasn't safe enough. but maybe combined with checking the CM etc. something to think about.... Fortunately what with cosleeping, on-demand nursing etc. I prob. don't have to worry about it for 15months or so if the last 2 kids are any indication. I know what I'm NOT doing-screwing with my hormones or going under the knife myself.
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#52 of 57 Old 05-26-2009, 11:13 PM
 
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We had discussed the big V, but I recently heard that it may caused decreased sensitivity. I plan on getting a tubal, that way I don't have to do the hormone thing, and we will be pretty dang sure that we don't accidentily get pregnant.
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#53 of 57 Old 05-26-2009, 11:32 PM
 
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I have considered an IUD, but in the end, I can't morally justify what an IUD does, even though many women do not ovulate with the Merena, many still do and I just could deal with embryos not being allowed to implant if they are created, so I will stick with the tubal and prevent the creation of an embryo.
DH and i just had this discussion tonight. nice to see i'm not the only one...

so- i think i'm having my first PPAF. crud. only 6weeks PP.

my ob recommended mirena today but......

still stand by: first you gotta DTD...... (what's that again?)

Married to my best friend, expecting #1 6/09. Little angel came early- 4/10/09, 2lbs 5oz. Lilah Grace:
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#54 of 57 Old 05-27-2009, 12:03 AM
 
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I would never do hormonal BC or either of us get cut. So we are doing Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It works when you follow the rules, and if you don't, well, ya gotta decide I you're gonna live dangerously. We do use comdoms during fertile times, which I hate, but I'm not into abstaining.

And um, I guess I'm morbid, but I imagine what if all my kids died in some freak accident, I would want to have more.

Mama to 2 year old and :: June 14th!
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#55 of 57 Old 05-27-2009, 12:14 AM
 
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I would never do hormonal BC or either of us get cut. So we are doing Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It works when you follow the rules, and if you don't, well, ya gotta decide I you're gonna live dangerously. We do use comdoms during fertile times, which I hate, but I'm not into abstaining.

And um, I guess I'm morbid, but I imagine what if all my kids died in some freak accident, I would want to have more.
I can understand that thought process, however, in my case, my body just can't do it anymore. It is more about me never ever ever in a million years being pg again vs. not having more kids. I have already considered foster care or adoption, but I will never be pg again and it is something I just can't risk, ever.

Then again, I think my uterus would fall out if I got pg again
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#56 of 57 Old 05-27-2009, 12:17 AM
 
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DH and i just had this discussion tonight. nice to see i'm not the only one...

so- i think i'm having my first PPAF. crud. only 6weeks PP.

my ob recommended mirena today but......

still stand by: first you gotta DTD...... (what's that again?)

LOL after my first, I think I waited like 8 or 10 weeks. I had a long labor and pushed for almost 4 hours. I was so scared it was going to hurt.

After that, the second i waited only two weeks, if that and other then the quads (which I waited 18 months since I was single hahaha), I haven't waited very long at all. It does get better, but that first time is scary, but honestly wasn't even painful.
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#57 of 57 Old 05-27-2009, 09:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have considered an IUD, but in the end, I can't morally justify what an IUD does, even though many women do not ovulate with the Merena, many still do and I just could deal with embryos not being allowed to implant if they are created, so I will stick with the tubal and prevent the creation of an embryo.
I have heard stories of women getting pregnant after a tubal and then having to terminate because obviously a baby can't survive in the tubes. That's why I always imagined I couldn't do it. Are those myths/hearsay?

Single mama to S ~ 6/09

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