I think I'm losing it here. - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 26 Old 06-13-2009, 07:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So here's miss negativity again.
I am 39 weeks today, so most would think I shouldn't even be bothered by the fact that she isn't here yet, (and plenty have voiced this to me), but I am so exhausted and in pain and just done. Although I have been dealing with contractions for 11 weeks now, this past couple weeks they have been sooo much worse. They can be so painful. I have had to get up multiple times in the middle of the night to go sit in the shower. I can't sleep, I'm constantly hungry but nothing sounds good enough to eat, and I have zero patience anymore. I am constantly snapping and yelling at poor DS and DP. I actually yelled at my uterus the other day then felt so bad that I may have startled the baby that I started crying. Which I seem to be doing a lot lately. My back and pelvis are killing me, nothing seems to help. I can't find a chiro who is comfortable working on me either. And let's not forget that every OB I have called has refused to take me on cause I'm "too far along", so we have been going at this un-assisted for just over a month. And the nearest hospital that won't just cut me open is 30-40 mins away, so I get to look forward to that trip during labor. Good thing I have a doppler to check her heart at home. I just feel like I can't take it anymore. I'm glad she isn't premature, I had a preemie and I would hate for her to come before she is ready, that's why I'm not trying to do anything to jump-start labor, but I'm just so miserable. I'm sorry for always being so negative on here, but I don't really have anyone IRL to talk to that isn't already tired of me, and I'm feeling desperate and depressed. I need a vacation. Thanks for listening.

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#2 of 26 Old 06-13-2009, 07:12 PM
 
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You sound so miserable I'm so sorry. I will be 39 weeks on Wednesday and feel nowhere as badly as you do. I really hope your babe arrives soon, safe and sound and in your arms rather than your belly.

I hear you on the back and pelvis pain. I'm pretty sore too, but somehow I'm managing. DH gives me massages most evenings and that helps settle me to sleep. Wish I could suggest something more helpful, but it seems you are doing everything possible to stay comfortable.

Are you desperate enough to try caster oil? It sounds awful, and I don't know if I'd ever be able to go there, but maybe it would work for you?

Hang in there. . . .
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#3 of 26 Old 06-13-2009, 07:17 PM
 
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OH no!

You said you needed a vacation...can you at least get in a pool? That's what I do. I am 38 weeks. It helps for when you're hurting all over.

Mama to 2 little darling squooshy faces
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#4 of 26 Old 06-13-2009, 07:20 PM
 
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Hang in there!

Erin~ Mommy to 3 curly-headed children and expecting #4 in December. ***4***8***12**16***20***24***28***32***36***40**
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#5 of 26 Old 06-13-2009, 07:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I considered trying castor oil, but when I mentioned it to my sister she said I would hate myself for it, and reminded me that I am trying to let things go as naturally as possible. Darn those voices of reason...
DP tries to give me "massages" every once in a while, but the poor guy, his hands can't handle more than a minute or two..
As for the pool, I would LOVE to try it. My neighbor said I can use her pool any time I want, but her husband has been popping my "comfort bubbles" lately, and I don't think I could handle being around him in a bathing suit right now. I tried taking epsom salt baths, and they helped a bit, but I used to get UTI's a lot, and after my 5th bath, I got my first one during this pregnancy. Ugh. I have to be really careful with UTI's cause I get kidney infections easily.
I'm trying to be patient, but I just don't feel like I have the strength anymore. I had a momentary break-down last week and told DP I just wanted to go in and get a c/s, but thankfully he snapped me out of it.

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#6 of 26 Old 06-13-2009, 07:54 PM
 
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Just want you to know that you are not alone! I am 40w+5 days. Some days are better than others but have been waking up every hour at night for over a month now. The sleep deprivation is torture and I am so uncomfortable! I feel like if I hadn't already paid for a homebirth I would schedule a c-section for tomorrow. It is hard to imagine having the energy to give birth. Let's just remind each other that we are doing our best even though it is hard. We will have our babies soon!
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#7 of 26 Old 06-13-2009, 09:03 PM
 
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I'm so sorry. I don't have any advice to help, but I just felt bad for you. I hope that you can find some relief soon. It sounds like you and I were on complete opposite ends of the pregnancy spectrum, and I can't say that either of them sound very good.

I hope that you will find some time to rest, some time to have peace, and :vibes to the baby. Hope that all goes well and that your time is close at hand. I think it's perfectly ok to be ready for your LO to come and come now!!!! So, take a break on yourself. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Married to my best friend, expecting #1 6/09. Little angel came early- 4/10/09, 2lbs 5oz. Lilah Grace:
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#8 of 26 Old 06-13-2009, 09:10 PM
 
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No advice, just a total sympathetic "I totally feel ya". I am SO done, in so much pain and just pray daily for it to be over or for me to just sleep until this kid gets out.
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#9 of 26 Old 06-13-2009, 10:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for being here.
I felt so bad for poor DP and DS that I decided to "suck it up" and take them to a movie. DS loved it, and I guess it was kinda nice to get out of the house, but I am soooo glad to be back home. LO spent the entire movie pushing on the middle of the top of my belly, so her head was putting pressure on my cervix the whole time. And then during each contraction I was sure if I just reached up there a bit I would feel a head.

Anyone have and idea what's ok to take to help me sleep? I think if I could get some decent sleep I might have more patience.

phrogger and ruma- I am sooo sorry you are having a rough time too! I hope these babies decide to come soon and give us mommies some relief!!

Thanks again ladies, for the support, I don't know what I would do if I couldn't come on here and vent.

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#10 of 26 Old 06-13-2009, 11:05 PM
 
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I think we're doing the same thing to try to wait it out! We ALSO went to a movie to escape the 90 degree heat, except the theater was so HOT and smelly that it was nasty. I also had to leave several times to go to the bathroom. Oh well!!

I did find the Tracy Community Pool on Lowell Ave for you via Google...maybe you could go there or go apartment pool crashing and get in an unfamiliar pool away from sketchy neighbors!

I bet you don't have much longer at all! One time I was in the wilderness on this crazy trip for 10 days. I keep thinking that maybe my baby will be here by then. If I can survive that trip, then I can survive these next days while I'm still huge and totally uncomfortable, because at least I don't have broken boots and swarmed by bugs 90 miles into the Alaskan wilderness. Hmmm. Maybe try to fake out your mind and say, well at least I'm not ___ and then think of a really bad situation. This would be a good activity to do while pool crashing btw.

Mama to 2 little darling squooshy faces
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#11 of 26 Old 06-14-2009, 12:27 AM
 
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I have nothing more supportive to say than s:

I so hope this is over soon.

Ashley, Pagan treehugger.gif mama to E (6/09) and my beautiful hbac.gif baby T (4/3/12)
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#12 of 26 Old 06-14-2009, 01:20 AM
 
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Anyone have and idea what's ok to take to help me sleep? I think if I could get some decent sleep I might have more patience.

.
My OB ok'd me for Tylenol PM because I DO have pain and can't sleep. It helps a little, enough to start off sleeping well. I am sorry you don't have a care provider to give you that advice right now. but that is what my OB said I could have.
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#13 of 26 Old 06-14-2009, 04:31 AM
 
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Awwww Mama. I am so sorry you are having a hard time...PPs have offered great advice. I think you are right on with trying to get some sleep so I hope you find something to help you out there....that makes a huge difference in my whole outlook on life.
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#14 of 26 Old 06-14-2009, 09:27 AM
 
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I took Unisom for nausea for MANY months this pregnancy. It's a sleep aid. I imagine it's okay later in pregnancy as well. Anyone know for sure?
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#15 of 26 Old 06-14-2009, 09:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have Unisom! I just never knew it was ok during pregnancy! woooohoooo!! I think I will try it out tonight- I'm exhausted!! I will probably only take a half a dose though, I'm awfully paranoid about taking stuff.

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#16 of 26 Old 06-14-2009, 10:48 PM
 
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I have Unisom! I just never knew it was ok during pregnancy! woooohoooo!! I think I will try it out tonight- I'm exhausted!! I will probably only take a half a dose though, I'm awfully paranoid about taking stuff.
Unisom is fine. It is basically the same as the tylenol PM just no pain reliever. That is why my OB oked the tylenol instead, because I am in so much pain. Take some and get some rest so you can get prepared for the baby.

I am seriously tempted to have a little wine or beer to relax enough that maybe I will go into labor, or at least sleep.
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#17 of 26 Old 06-14-2009, 10:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Unisom is fine. It is basically the same as the tylenol PM just no pain reliever. That is why my OB oked the tylenol instead, because I am in so much pain. Take some and get some rest so you can get prepared for the baby.

I am seriously tempted to have a little wine or beer to relax enough that maybe I will go into labor, or at least sleep.
I'm sorry- I know you're ready too. I'm sending good vibes your way!

Yeah I practically live off of tylenol, but lately it doesn't seem to do much, huh?

MMMMM wine and beer. I was never much of a fan till now! Maybe I will try one of those tonight... DP actually came home with a bottle of wine recently and asked me to try "relaxing" It was a cute gesture. I had a half a glass and felt a bit better, but then i felt guilty and didn't have any again. Wonder if I can ignore the guilty feeling tonight..

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#18 of 26 Old 06-14-2009, 11:12 PM
 
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I'm sorry- I know you're ready too. I'm sending good vibes your way!

Yeah I practically live off of tylenol, but lately it doesn't seem to do much, huh?

MMMMM wine and beer. I was never much of a fan till now! Maybe I will try one of those tonight... DP actually came home with a bottle of wine recently and asked me to try "relaxing" It was a cute gesture. I had a half a glass and felt a bit better, but then i felt guilty and didn't have any again. Wonder if I can ignore the guilty feeling tonight..
I've been having the occasional glass of wine for a while! Never more than a 1/2 glass at a time though. But I was raised by Italians so its much more accepted I guess! I did actually read a study recently that said 2-4 glasses of red wine a week had kids scoring *better* cognitively than those kids w/ moms that abstained which I thought was pretty crazy (its one thing to say it doesn't hurt, another thing completely to say it helps!) but it was a study from France I think

but at this stage its certainly a good sleep aid I would imagine. I haven't actually had any in a few weeks, if I have another night of prelabor though I might break out a bottle. (we make our own)

mom to z (June 2009) and m (may 2011)

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#19 of 26 Old 06-14-2009, 11:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been having the occasional glass of wine for a while! Never more than a 1/2 glass at a time though. But I was raised by Italians so its much more accepted I guess! I did actually read a study recently that said 2-4 glasses of red wine a week had kids scoring *better* cognitively than those kids w/ moms that abstained which I thought was pretty crazy (its one thing to say it doesn't hurt, another thing completely to say it helps!) but it was a study from France I think

but at this stage its certainly a good sleep aid I would imagine. I haven't actually had any in a few weeks, if I have another night of prelabor though I might break out a bottle. (we make our own)
You make your own!!?? That's awesome! Red or White??

My wonderful brother (best friend in the whole world, well next to DP) was just telling me how proud he was of me doing so well with this pregnancy, (I was rather, uh, irresposible with DS) and said he thought there would be no problem with me having some wine. I know a lot of women have wine here and there throughout their pregnancies and everything is fine, but after my issues with my pregnancy with DS I tend to feel guilty quite often. I'm thinking I may be able to get over this for now though Some whine sounds tasty. MMMM now I need some french bread and olive oil and I'd be in heaven!!

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#20 of 26 Old 06-15-2009, 08:38 AM
 
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I've been enjoying wine throughout this pregnancy, except for the first trimester Not often, but when I have a glass I enjoy a full glass. It's been several weeks now- I should open a bottle! I find that it definitely relaxes me, takes the edge off, and takes me to a place where I'm not thinking BABY all the time. When I'm not pregnant I enjoy a small glass of red with dinner nearly every night- so it's just nice, you know?

However, I do find that while I can easily fall asleep after a glass of red, I tend to be more awake and restless in the wee early hours of the morning. So be careful- no sense in creating MORE sleep issues! Oh, and take some zantac if you are having reflux issues- wine irritates that little problem for me as well :

Hum. Maybe there's a reason I've not had any wine in a while

Hope you got some sleep!!
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#21 of 26 Old 06-15-2009, 08:49 AM
 
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After thinking I was going into labor today (super intense contractions plus other signs) things have really slowed down...I think I'll try a glass of wine to go to sleep tonight since I am sure it is all going to start up again sometime in the night...
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#22 of 26 Old 06-15-2009, 08:57 AM
 
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You make your own!!?? That's awesome! Red or White??

My wonderful brother (best friend in the whole world, well next to DP) was just telling me how proud he was of me doing so well with this pregnancy, (I was rather, uh, irresposible with DS) and said he thought there would be no problem with me having some wine. I know a lot of women have wine here and there throughout their pregnancies and everything is fine, but after my issues with my pregnancy with DS I tend to feel guilty quite often. I'm thinking I may be able to get over this for now though Some whine sounds tasty. MMMM now I need some french bread and olive oil and I'd be in heaven!!
we make red, just cause we prefer it. The mr. makes beer as well (for him, I'm not a big beer person!) We buy the juice, so its not too hard, though we are trying to grow some grapes as well but you have to grow *so* many that its pretty hard to do that way! But maybe for a small batch sometime.


and yeah, I avoided it first trimester, I think my first glass was around 16wks since it was our anniversary then not much until maybe third, and its true, its not like you'd *want* more than a 1/2 glass or so anyway, since it give you heartburn so easily!

I do think Ill bring out some tonite, I've been having trouble sleeping worrying about possible induction on Saturday

mom to z (June 2009) and m (may 2011)

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#23 of 26 Old 06-15-2009, 09:46 AM
 
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I've indulged in the occasional beer guilt free. More so as I go further into the pregnancy. It's not that is is a strong urge but I want this baby out, I want labor to start so we can all stop waiting. I try really hard to get it off my mind and not overthink it but it's really hard to listen to myself. I was so sure I would go early, and now here I am due date tommorrow, and a midwife appointment. Bleh* I don't even see the point anymore but have to keep up the image, she thinks we are calling her and meeting at the hospital. We live to far for her to come to a homebirth in our country. So I'm worried she'll examine me while I'm in labor and send me to the hospital so we don't have to drive back and forth, and then how am I supposed to call her in late labor from home and fake a fast labor? Maybe that's why this baby won't come out even though I feel everything has been ready for a while.
I want to tell her or fill her in, it would be a very interesting discussion and really lift a wait. But the one time I talked to her about UC she brought up a past client who had done what I did, but towards the end decided to have a UC and did. My midwife didn't do anything wrong but was investigated to see if she had in some way encouraged her. It seems here the regulations force midwives to sometimes do things they would rather not, and be too involved so there have been cases of midwives helping prepare clients for a UC and the midwifery association doesn't like that at all.

I just really don't want to get her in trouble. But then again I'm not willing to sacrifice my birth for her either.

Well I feel a bit better, but still no baby, *huff*
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#24 of 26 Old 06-15-2009, 11:46 AM
 
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So how is everybody today?


Mara, mama to two boys born 05/2009 and 04/2011, after four miscarriages. 

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#25 of 26 Old 06-15-2009, 12:33 PM
 
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So how is everybody today?

Aside from the raging heartburn : pretty good actually. I've been out in the garden this morning doing some much needed weeding- and hoping the position will help turn my posterior babe.
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#26 of 26 Old 06-15-2009, 09:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, decided to go with the Unisom. I only took half a tablet, at about 10:30 and of course it didn't do anything for me. So at 1-am-ish I took another half a tablet. I fell asleep around 2. I slept great till about 4:30, when I woke up to some really uncomfortable contractions 6-7mins apart. I stayed in bed till about 5:15 when I decided to get in the shower. The contractions spaced out and I fell back asleep at about 6. Woke up again at 8:25- realizing I slept through my alarm and didn't get DS off to summer school. UGH. Oh well. One more day almost down....
I think I will try a whole tablet tonight. I'm very sleepy.

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