I feel your pain. My mom is helpful - she comes in and sees things to do and does them. She is a total blessing! My in laws, however, bring things over and throw them everywhere, make a huge mess for me to clean up, and leave with DD1 overstimulated and cranky. No matter how many times I ask them to clean their hands before touching my baby, they won't - we have a no shoes policy in the house, yet they always track in dirt and debris and won't take off their shoes...
It's better than dd1's birth though - they brought over 15 pounds of raw meat - chicken, ground beef, steaks, etc. Nice enough, right? Well, they put it on my counter with a bunch of freezer bags and LEFT. By the time I got done nursing dd, there was meat juice dripping down my counter, down the cabinets, into a puddle on the floor and all over the stove. So, with a screaming 4 day old, I had to deal with a salmonella-fest in my kitchen.
This time, I was about 15 minutes done with a massive hemmorage, receiving IV fluids, my butt was hanging out (seriously - FIL saw my rear), and I was shaking and trying to eat food to get my blood sugar regulated...when they walked in unannounced. There is blood on the floor (LOTS), I'm still covered in vernix, hooked up to IV's, and pale as a ghost, and they wander in...AFTER DH told them to PLEASE wait until I got stabilized in recovery. Then proceeded to try to have a conversation with me. Who was irate. And told them they should have waited, because they wanted to hold the baby who had just went to the nursery for her bath. And wouldn't be out until we were in RECOVERY.
If I hadn't lost so much blood, I would have personally escorted them to the door and put my foot where it belonged.
That was cathartic! I'll be back with more this evening, I'm sure!
Just remember...some people are just self-involved and need help seeing that they are not the only people in the world! AND - the dishes can wait. When DH gets to the point where he's eating with his hands like a caveman, maybe he'll get some done!