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#1 of 9 Old 06-22-2009, 02:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just wondered if anyone else is having a hard time. I had PPD after my first baby, but not my 2nd. This time around I started getting depressed in the 2nd trimester and started medication when I was about 30 weeks, however, even with a high dose of Zoloft, which has worked for me before, my mood had been slipping badly this week, I'm going to the psychiatrist tomorrow and I'm nervous about what she might suggest.

Anne, Christian mummy to Nathanael 05/28/03, Ada 06/10/05, Grace 05/24/09
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#2 of 9 Old 06-22-2009, 02:30 AM
 
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Sending you hugs and positive vibes. I haven't had PPD but I have dealt with numerous bouts of depression over the years. I'm on an anti-anxiety med right now (Effexor) which has worked very well for me. I hope you find a med that fits your needs and maybe some counseling to help you find tools to keep yourself on track.

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#3 of 9 Old 06-22-2009, 08:40 AM
 
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I used lexapro after my first and it helped with symptoms, but I'm also a big believer in that meds are more of a band-aid and not a cure (though a very helpful band-aid!).

I started doing cognitive behavioral therapy and think it's great. I also saw an integrative doc, found out I'm gluten intolerant and needed to start avoiding wheat, and changed up the supplements I take - lots of GOOD omega 3's, vit d, vit b complex and also a prenatal right now.

I think doing stuff for "me" has also helped me tremendously. I think for me, it was so hard after baby becuase I felt like I lost a huge part of "me" and my whole world became about baby - which is just plain overwhelming!

HUGS mama! Hang in there and I think talking to your psychiatrist is good - talk talk talk - and make sure to come here for support also!

Fwiw - I'm worried about it a little this time too, but feel like knowing what to expect/watch out for will help. We'll see though...I still have yet to have this kid! ;-)

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#4 of 9 Old 06-22-2009, 10:51 AM
 
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i think i'm there with you. i had it with my first and never did anything. started to feel miserable during my 2nd trimester this time--didn't do anything. i suppose it's time to do something? heh. pretty sure i feel like this on a regular basis anyway. even doing something to feel better sounds so exhausting but i guess i'll have to get over that!
i hope something good comes of the psychiatrist visit!!
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#5 of 9 Old 06-22-2009, 11:10 AM
 
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nak

i've had it with all three of my other kids. dh and i talked about me trying to not do meds this time, as they make me feel kind of strange (exhausted and just "blah"). babe is one week today and although yesterday i had an emotional meltdown, i don't feel like i have ppd...yet.

good luck at the psychologist's. remember there are other things you can try before meds if you want to, but sometimes the meds can be helpful and you won't be on them forever.
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#6 of 9 Old 06-22-2009, 12:52 PM
 
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Big hugs. I'm not exactly sure *what* I'm experiencing, whether it's PPD or not. I just feel overwhelmed and a bit *down* that things haven't gone as planned... The labor and birth really shook my confidence in myself and my body (b/c it was so incredibly painful, and b/c of the shoulder dystocia and all the tearing) and breastfeeding has been SO awful so far. So all these things that I really believe/d in, natural childbirth, breastfeeding, I feel betrayed by in a weird kind of way. I wanted to "wear" my baby, but I haven't, hardly at all, b/c he's so big, I'm so weak and tired, and now my poor boobs are so sore (from thrush, now, it's just one thing after another) that I can't stand to have the pressure of the sling or carrier pressed against them. So he's becoming a stroller baby, not what I envisioned.

My poor son gets the *worst* gas pains, several times a day, in which he just screams and farts. Which would be funny if he weren't in so much pain. I don't know what's causing it... I have a very strong let-down and too much milk, but then I've been pumping and bottle-feeding so I doubt that's the only thing, unless the bottle causes the same problems as an overactive letdown. I'm hoping it's not dietary, because I would have a very difficult time giving up dairy or whatever, although I'm trying to do without dairy for the next two weeks to see if that helps. Anyway, him being unhappy and in pain during those times, is not helping my mental state any, you know?

Mara, mama to two boys born 05/2009 and 04/2011, after four miscarriages. 

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#7 of 9 Old 06-22-2009, 09:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WeasleyMum View Post
Big hugs. I'm not exactly sure *what* I'm experiencing, whether it's PPD or not. I just feel overwhelmed and a bit *down* that things haven't gone as planned... The labor and birth really shook my confidence in myself and my body (b/c it was so incredibly painful, and b/c of the shoulder dystocia and all the tearing) and breastfeeding has been SO awful so far. So all these things that I really believe/d in, natural childbirth, breastfeeding, I feel betrayed by in a weird kind of way. I wanted to "wear" my baby, but I haven't, hardly at all, b/c he's so big, I'm so weak and tired, and now my poor boobs are so sore (from thrush, now, it's just one thing after another) that I can't stand to have the pressure of the sling or carrier pressed against them. So he's becoming a stroller baby, not what I envisioned.
I feel the same way...overwhelmed and down. Labor and birth was so much harder then I thought it would be, and the WHOLE time. I knew it was going to be hard, but I thought it was going to start out slowly and build up...I thought my husband was going to be this great support, and in a way he was, but he was also detached and worried and trying to prepare everything for the birth, and when he was actually *there* with me at the end, I hardly noticed him at all. I thought I was going to get to catch my baby, but in the moment, I forgot all about it and nobody suggested it. Breastfeeding wasn't too terribly hard starting out, and I knew it would be painful, but I didn't know it was going to take OVER MY LIFE. My DH doesn't get it at all...I am on call 24/7 for Samara...all he has to do is change some diapers. I feel like I can't even go to the store for 30 minutes, even if she has a full tummy, because what if she needs to nurse again and I'm not there? I wasn't prepared for how exhausting it would be to always be thinking about her and worrying about her and loving her. Tonight I ran in and out of the grocery store by myself and I felt so free for a few minutes...I could listen to the radio as loud as I wanted, and run in the store with only my keys and wallet, and yet I was so happy to kiss her all over her face when I got home. But now I have thrush and it's making things quite painful with nursing and babywearing and even cuddling her.

I think the thing that is the hardest is that my DH is my best friend, and through my pregnancy he sympathized with my every ache and pain, physically or emotionally...through labor he was the same way. But now that we are in real life as parents, he doesn't seem to *get* what I am going through at all. I talk to him about it and he looks worried but I can tell he doesn't really understand. I feel really alone.

Single mama to S ~ 6/09

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#8 of 9 Old 06-22-2009, 10:33 PM
 
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Please get help if you need it, mamas! Enlist friends to help, relatives, whoever you can. Seriously. If there is one thing I have learned from the last three kids and PPD which got worse each time is TAKE PEOPLE UP ON THEIR OFFER TO HELP and FIND PEOPLE THAT YOU CAN TALK TO! I didn't allow myself to talk to anyone about my PPD. After I "got better" from the third time, I kind of mentioned it to a couple of friends who had gone through PPD themselves! If I had known that, I could have had some great support.

Meds may not be the answer. I know they are not for me this time around, although last time they were a God-send. Please do not keep any of this inside. Talk to your midwife, doctor, counselor, somebody about it and if meds are suggested, carefully consider them.

I'm so sorry you guys are feeling this way. It sucks so bad and some days can be so bad you don't think you'll make it through. Please post here as often as you need to vent and get advice or a cyber hug! I am thinking of you and praying that you'll recover soon. And please know that even if your labor didn't go as planned that you did not fail at labor.

Please take care!!!
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#9 of 9 Old 06-22-2009, 11:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Luckily I have fantastic support, my husband is able to take a lot of time off work, his company gives a month paid paternity leave anyway, but he was able to also take his sick leave as I had a c-section and he had annual leave left from last year, so he's taken 7 weeks off, then my parents arrive for 3 weeks. I also have friends who are being amazing.

I think my psychiatrist is really on top of all the tiny things that can help, she already had me on vit D and a particular prenatal that had the folic acid in a different form to usual (apparently there is some research that suggests people with depression absorb it badly in the usual form, which was interesting as when I had PPD the first time a blood test showed low folate, but no one seemed to think it meant anything). Now I'm no longer pregnant, she's prescribed some kind of fish oil. I'll ask about vit B complex when I next see her.

She's also given me the name of another counsellor, as I didn't feel the one I was currently seeing has been all that much help. We're also switching from Zoloft to Lexapro.

I'm able to get plenty of rest as DH is doing night feeds, I'm blessed with a good milk supply, so I'm able to pump in the day and get heading towards twice what she eats, she's mostly fed by syringe as she doesn't transfer milk well at the breast. This does cause me a bit of anxiety as I know it's harder to rebuild a supply once it's lost, but equally I've got to survive now and try not to worry about the next day. At least with such a dramatic oversupply to start off with, I have a huge freezer stash, so as long as she takes that, it will give me a buffer whilst I rebuild supply if that's what I need to do. Hopefully she'll get the hang of breastfeeding soon.

Anne, Christian mummy to Nathanael 05/28/03, Ada 06/10/05, Grace 05/24/09
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