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#1 of 4 Old 07-13-2009, 09:06 PM - Thread Starter
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Seems like everything is piling on top of me right now!

My parents arrive this evening, given we live 5000 miles away, they don't exactly visit often, it's 16months since I last saw them, the longest gap between visits my whole life.

Having a newborn and particularly one that's been challenging to nurse, we are not exactly guest ready. I don't feel like I have to play the perfect host to my parents, but I want to, I don't want the opportunity for sarcastic comments in future.

DH isn't helping with the stress as he's busy doing things I consider over the top, like cleaning paintwork in the guest room, when there are basics like loading the dishwasher that need doing.

I've put on a lot of weight since the birth and I'm dreading any comments about that and them watching everything I put in my mouth. For some reason I don't gain weight easily in pregnancy, then afterwards nursing makes me ravenous and I quickly rise to where I would be if I'd put on an average amount in pregnancy, so I'm not enormous, just a size 10 rather than a size 6.

At the moment I've been taking meds to sleep and DH has been sleeping in the guest room with the baby and giving her pumped milk in the night, last night he slept with the baby in the kids room. He's been off work since the birth, but he'll go back on Wednesday, I'm sure if we continue this, it's going to cause comment that I'm being selfish and lazy, I don't think they have a clue what it's like to literally not sleep at all without meds. If I were to nurse in the night having taken the meds (the ones I'm on don't go through to the milk), my husband would have to stay awake anyway for safety.

The more stressed I get the more unable I am to do anything that would relieve my feeling of unpreparedness.

Nursing is stressing me out too, we went to the doctor today because lactation were telling us that DD isn't gaining enough weight, but the doctor said she's gaining weight fine and we should stop worrying and just nurse her and not supplement (we supplement with breastmilk), but when we tried that two weeks ago, she only gained an ounce in a week. She seems to have reflux and I'm not good at telling her pain cries from her hungry cries so I worry that I'm starving her because I think she's in pain when actually she's hungry. You'd think with baby number 3 I'd have the hang of this a bit better!

Anne, Christian mummy to Nathanael 05/28/03, Ada 06/10/05, Grace 05/24/09
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#2 of 4 Old 07-14-2009, 10:29 AM
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Mama to Gabe 8-03 and Cyan 5-09
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#3 of 4 Old 07-14-2009, 11:28 AM
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Wow, that does sounds like a stressful situation. How long are your parents staying? I hope the visit goes smoother than you imagine Hang in there!

Midwifery Student and Mama to 2 daughters and 3 sons.     
ribboncesarean.gif vbac.gifhomebirth.jpg I have given birth a variety of ways and I am thankful for what each one has taught me.

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#4 of 4 Old 07-14-2009, 04:35 PM
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Sorry you are dealing with all this.

I had a somewhat similar situation, though not as intense, and nursing was fine. I was stressed, my mom was visiting, and not help AT ALL--expecting to be entertained. DH was outside clearing brush all day for two days. I finally had to break down and tell DH that I needed his help inside and my mom made me tense and he needed to put off clearing brush until I had recovered a bit more. I hated doing it, but he totally understood--just had to be told.

I wold put the entertainment of family at the bottom of your priority list. They should understand and should help you out--not expect to be "guests" in the way they may be if you had not just had a baby.

Also, turn a blind eye/deaf ear to the weight situation. Your priority is to recover and take care of your baby, which is extra challenging for you. So what if you are a size ten and pigging out all day?! (I also sympathize with you on people commenting. The first thing my MIL said when I talked to her after baby was born was "I hear you have already lost a lot of weight." OMG! As if my figure is so bleeping important. We just made a human being for crying out loud!)

Hang in there and take care of yourself.
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