so not in the mood - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 08-08-2009, 11:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My libido left during pregnancy and the search party I sent to find it is lost too. We started trying today and lilah started wailing. Nothing would do until she got some snuggle time. Which turned into I'm hungry, then normal fussy time- we think she may be teething. She'll be 4 months Monday. So hard to believe...

Has anyone seen my search party? Tell them to come on back ASAP.

Am I the only one in this boat? Just seriously not interested. Not that I'm not attracted to DH- just not interested in the process. Sounds appealing in my head, but in reality, it just takes a long time, I don't feel super attractive, etc. etc.


Married to my best friend, expecting #1 6/09. Little angel came early- 4/10/09, 2lbs 5oz. Lilah Grace:
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#2 of 11 Old 08-09-2009, 09:24 AM
 
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I feel the same way.
I'm tandem nursing and what normally happens at bedtime is: I nurse the youngest before we start getting everything done (feeding the cats, brushing teeth, etc). Then I nurse my oldest and put him to bed. Then I go into my bedroom and, sure enough!, the youngest wants to nurse. Then he's asleep and my husband wants to have sex. SO MUCH TOUCHING!
Plus yeah, the normal PP things like being exhausted and not feeling attractive.
I seem to remember it taking a while for me to be in the mood last time but once it came back, it REALLY came back!
Haha, and I really know what you mean about it sounding good in your head!
Oh and the other day, we were trying to, uh, get things goin' but I kept singing the MAIL TIME song from Blue's Clues in my head. Not helpful!
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#3 of 11 Old 08-09-2009, 01:48 PM
 
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Similar story here. DD is almost 4 months, and I have absolutely no sex drive. My DH has never been one to have a huge sex drive either...so I don't feel like I'm really making him suffer too much. The main problem is, that when we try, he's reverting back into feeling insecure about himself and his ability as a lover because he can't "satisfy" me. But there's nothing to satisfy because I have no desire! Where do we start to get back on track? I feel like I totally forgot what sex is all about!

Also, this is gross, but I _hate_ the way his semen won't stay inside me after he comes. It just immediately drips out all over the place. It didn't used to be like this. Guess I need to keep doing my kegels...

Mom to Jessie Marie 4/30/09
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#4 of 11 Old 08-09-2009, 02:02 PM
 
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Yep pretty much feel the same way here...it sounds like a good idea, just can't bring myself to let him Poor DH

Shawna- wife to DH, mother to DD (6-2009)
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#5 of 11 Old 08-09-2009, 03:29 PM
 
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I wish I could trade. I want it but DH is out of town for a few weeks.
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#6 of 11 Old 08-09-2009, 05:07 PM
 
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I'm almost 7 weeks post baby and we haven't dtd yet. and it's not really from lack of desire on my part. I just stopped bleeding a few days ago, and now, based on cervical fluid etc. I'm really concerned that I may be getting set to ovulate already. And I really, really, really don't want to be pregnant anytime soon. I really need to get my TCOYF book back from my SIL and read the section on charting while breast feeding again.

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#7 of 11 Old 08-11-2009, 05:02 PM
 
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me too, I'm 11 weeks pp and we still haven't DTD, with our first it was about 5 weeks, with the 2nd (which was a very damaging vaginal birth) it was about 8 weeks, this time even though I had a c-section and everything feels fine down below, I have absolutely no desire at all, to the extent that I'm getting really frustrated if DH is at all physical towards me, I feel really bad about that, so I try really hard to control myself, but I feel terrible that him just sitting close to me makes me snappy. I suspect it's something to do with the meds I'm on for depression, because I love him more than ever, but it feels really platonic right now.

Anne, Christian mummy to Nathanael 05/28/03, Ada 06/10/05, Grace 05/24/09
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#8 of 11 Old 08-15-2009, 08:08 PM
 
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libido? what's a libido? between nursing hormones, the baby and my two year old, i don't even remember what dtd is like...
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#9 of 11 Old 08-15-2009, 08:25 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carlin View Post
I'm almost 7 weeks post baby and we haven't dtd yet. and it's not really from lack of desire on my part. I just stopped bleeding a few days ago, and now, based on cervical fluid etc. I'm really concerned that I may be getting set to ovulate already. And I really, really, really don't want to be pregnant anytime soon. I really need to get my TCOYF book back from my SIL and read the section on charting while breast feeding again.
I just took the postpartum NFP class, and they basically told us if you have any signs of fertility, DONT DTD! You have to have 4 dry days. Since I have only had a handful of dry days since the bleeding stopped, we've been using condoms and I think I'm going to either get an IUD or take the mini pill. I really don't want to be pregnant anytime soon either!!

But my sex drive sort of sucks too. I'm having some PPD problems, and my DH is annoying the hell out of me. I love him but also feel it's almost just platonic, which is weird because I've always had a higher sex drive then him. Problem is that although he doesn't push me to do it or anything, he really gets meaner and meaner the longer we go without...which is really unlike his regular personality...he doesn't mean to, and honestly doesn't even notice, but I do!! Even though I know it's hormonal for him too (testosterone build up, etc) that makes me want to DTD even less.

Single mama to S ~ 6/09

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#10 of 11 Old 08-18-2009, 12:56 AM
 
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7 weeks PP here and I physically can't DTD. We tried the other day but I'm ridiculously tight and it's painful. I'm really hoping it's hormonal and gets better as things get back to normal.

Ashley, Pagan treehugger.gif mama to E (6/09) and my beautiful hbac.gif baby T (4/3/12)
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#11 of 11 Old 08-18-2009, 09:34 AM
 
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We have dtd quite a few times but it is awkward. I always have a bra on with huge nursing pads. I feel fine down below and my abdomen is still sore and tight feeling. I feel like I may be getting my period back any minute. Today is our wedding anniversary and I am sure that there will be a bit of action tonight..

Shawna!! DH Kevin, DD Kaelen (12) DS Drew (10), Sam and Jocelyn 11 months and TTC!!
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