Will I ever snap out of my denial? - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-07-2008, 01:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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When I was pregnant before, I was in denial that this incredible, wonderful gift had been given to me, that I was actually growing a baby inside me, that I would become someone's mommy...and I think to protect myself from the looming possibility of loss, I stayed partly in denial the whole time. When I was 30-something weeks pregnant with my second and had just gotten out the infant cloth diapers and had set them up alongside ds's and just the sight of the second set of diapers made it all real to me, and I called my husband at work and asked him if he knew that we were going to have another BABY and that omygosh, this is REAL, and could he believe it?!!: And his response was a long silence, followed by, "...yes...i thought you'd have picked up on it that there's a new baby coming, she who hasn't seen her feet in weeks."

And tonight, after having a really easy day where I felt better than I have in I don't remember how long, I was changing out of my clothes and felt, for the first time, the ugh of my gut starting to act up again, and I couldn't suck in the bloat and I looked down to investigage and saw that my tummy looked all round...and it hit me that...oh my gosh, I'm going to get a big huge round belly again. My clothes aren't going to fit pretty soon. We're going to have another baby, we get another person to add to our family! WOW! ...really?

Anyone else just not get it until moments like that hit you?
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:36 AM
 
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honestly??? it wasn't until i could actually touch my dd's head as it was emerging from my body that i could get enough of a hold on the fact that a baby was a reality! i mean, i had moments, but they weren't tangible. i had never done this before, what did i really know, kwim? after i gave birth i remember thinking "wow; there really was a baby in there". i just couldn't completely wrap my head around giving birth to this little person that i would actually be able to hold in my arms.

i was totally responsible in my pregnancy and took really good care of me and the baby, thinking that i was taking care of a tiny person inside of me. hell, i felt really connected to my baby. i just didn't really know until the moment of her birth that all of my efforts really were for her, that i really carried a baby to term and that she was perfect, and i wasn't just believing it in my head.

this time it's not tangible, either, but i have somewhat of a notion of what is to come and that there really will be a baby at the end of it all. i am still guessing what it will be like to be a mother of two and know that that won't seem real until the baby gets here too.

it's such a trip
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