November ***Pregnancy after Loss and Infertility*** - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 269 Old 11-05-2008, 04:28 PM
 
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I wanted to share an experience this morning. I had a great bonding experience with the baby. I had an epiphany about having faith, and I think I released a lot of anxiety (not necessarily fear). I was able to visualize myself holding the baby, and I did some visualization of my belly being light. It was a wonderful experience.
I have found that visualization and just taking the time to be totally inside my own thoughts to be very helpful. I try to do it a few nights a week in the shower (my only real alone time most days). I normally visualize the baby in the womb and I send my energy to any places in my body that need it. Most people that know me would laugh at the thought of me doing this, but it really helps me so it's my little secret.
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#62 of 269 Old 11-05-2008, 04:59 PM
 
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I do something like this too. I "take a peek" into my uterus, and I can actually see the baby growing and moving and the like. And, judging from my past pregnancies, this is fairly accurate. The day before I miscarried my 2nd, I looked in there and all I saw was blood clots.

Nowadays I've been making "eye contact" with the baby and it's just really cool. I feel like I'm getting to know 'her' (I'm betting it's a girl).

Ashley, Pagan treehugger.gif mama to E (6/09) and my beautiful hbac.gif baby T (4/3/12)
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#63 of 269 Old 11-05-2008, 05:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have found that visualization and just taking the time to be totally inside my own thoughts to be very helpful. I try to do it a few nights a week in the shower (my only real alone time most days). I normally visualize the baby in the womb and I send my energy to any places in my body that need it. Most people that know me would laugh at the thought of me doing this, but it really helps me so it's my little secret.
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I do something like this too. I "take a peek" into my uterus, and I can actually see the baby growing and moving and the like. And, judging from my past pregnancies, this is fairly accurate. The day before I miscarried my 2nd, I looked in there and all I saw was blood clots.

Nowadays I've been making "eye contact" with the baby and it's just really cool. I feel like I'm getting to know 'her' (I'm betting it's a girl).
I was able to do this with ds, but I just could not bring myself to connect to this baby. I am getting there though.

I envy your connection sunflwr. I think I have less faith in my abilities because when I lost our last baby I visualized my womb I still saw a developing fetus. Now I am not sure that I trust what I "see", so I was not even trying.
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#64 of 269 Old 11-05-2008, 06:45 PM
 
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Well, today was the day I started bleeding last time. When we make it through this day, it will be the farthest I've made it through a pregnancy without bleeding.

I know it's very early but maybe possible to feel movement at this stage, so I've been trying very hard to be open to feeling it and spending time each day especially focusing and trying to feel some feedback from the small one. Nothing yet.
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#65 of 269 Old 11-05-2008, 06:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, today was the day I started bleeding last time. When we make it through this day, it will be the farthest I've made it through a pregnancy without bleeding.

I know it's very early but maybe possible to feel movement at this stage, so I've been trying very hard to be open to feeling it and spending time each day especially focusing and trying to feel some feedback from the small one. Nothing yet.
I cannot wait to celebrate passing this milestone tomorrow. I am thinking of you and sending you love and light tonight.
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#66 of 269 Old 11-05-2008, 09:26 PM
 
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Heatherh - Tomorrow will be a great day of celebration on this thread for you :

Bliss - Glad you are starting to visualize positive things about the baby

I have been having trouble, because I am just not hearing from M enough for my needs (at least once a week), I have been struggling what to do. I was going to ask her to contact me at least once a week, but I have been really thinking deeply about it, and I don't want to ask her to do something she does not want to do, and then may stress out the baby. I am going to follow her lead (which is hard for my Type A self), but just try and be calm and focus on the end goal. I know if she ran into any problem, she would call, and we see her at the appts. I am just focusing on the end result and visualizing holding my baby. I know she is an excellent surro and talking care of herself and the baby, and other people have much bigger problems with their surros, so I am trying to learn to let go, because I know I will have to when the baby comes. So I feel like I am in a good head space now
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#67 of 269 Old 11-05-2008, 10:14 PM
 
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Critty - Have you talked to M about how often is good to touch base? I'd wonder if maybe she doesn't want to drive you crazy by calling every other day. Never know unless you ask...
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#68 of 269 Old 11-06-2008, 11:27 AM
 
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does anyone know anything about betas?
I heard from my OB's office this morning but still don't really know anything. My hcg monday was 5,006 and yesterday's was 7,176. I looked this up online and it seems to be in the normal range on the low end. So they did not double as she was expecting. now, I go for another beta on Monday and then an u/s on Tuesday. I am thinking this is bad news but I haven't 100% given up hope yet. I am seriously going out of my mind here. One minute i am convinced that the pregnancy is finished. Then I realized that my breasts still hurt and whenever I cook, the smells make me nauseous. I can't believe i have to wait this out even longer now.

Tanya - Lucky wife to dh & Mommy to dd M (5/02) ds1 C (9/05) ds2 A (1/10) &
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#69 of 269 Old 11-06-2008, 02:06 PM
 
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I'm still here, you guys! 9w5d - a new record. No bleeding or any signs of trouble. Phew.

MiracleMama - OK, so they did the blood draw on Mon and you were over 6 weeks (you said you were pretty sure of your dates, right?) at that point. Given that, you're within the (very wide) range listed at betabase,. My understanding is that numbers should double every 2 - 3 days but I'm not sure if it's still that quick at 6 weeks. Even if they drew the blood late on Mon then early yesterday, I'm thinking that could be consistent with those numbers... Hopefully someone will chime in if they know if numbers continue to double that quickly at 6 weeks.

I'm sorry this is dragging out for you
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#70 of 269 Old 11-06-2008, 02:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm still here, you guys! 9w5d - a new record. No bleeding or any signs of trouble. Phew.
: : : : : : :

I am so happy for you!
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#71 of 269 Old 11-06-2008, 03:01 PM
 
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I had a scary morning.

I woke up to find lots of dark blood when I wiped. I called the nurse and was told to come in around 10am. She advised that I take it easy, but I still went to my orthodontist appt. Then I waited 2 hours in the waiting room at the ob, fun times. At one point an elderly lady commented on how long I had been there and asked if I was pg. I wanted to say "I wish I knew" but I kept it to small talk without actually answering. The u/s tech saw a hb immediately, 184bpm. She said she had seen quite a few mc that morning and was excited for me. The hematoma that showed up on a previous u/s was gone. I'm going to think positive and assume the blood was from the hematoma. I'll take it easy for the next couple of weeks.

I could use your positive thoughts. My poor h is so stressed out.
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#72 of 269 Old 11-06-2008, 03:33 PM
 
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Thanks

ChrissieColinsMom - Yeah for HB!! I'm so glad that worked out OK! I can't believe the OB made you wait so long when you were so worried.
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#73 of 269 Old 11-06-2008, 03:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had a scary morning.

I woke up to find lots of dark blood when I wiped. I called the nurse and was told to come in around 10am. She advised that I take it easy, but I still went to my orthodontist appt. Then I waited 2 hours in the waiting room at the ob, fun times. At one point an elderly lady commented on how long I had been there and asked if I was pg. I wanted to say "I wish I knew" but I kept it to small talk without actually answering. The u/s tech saw a hb immediately, 184bpm. She said she had seen quite a few mc that morning and was excited for me. The hematoma that showed up on a previous u/s was gone. I'm going to think positive and assume the blood was from the hematoma. I'll take it easy for the next couple of weeks.

I could use your positive thoughts. My poor h is so stressed out.
Sending you lots of positive thoughts! Glad everything looked good.
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#74 of 269 Old 11-06-2008, 04:39 PM
 
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So glad everything's OK ChrissieColinsMom!! It makes sense that the bleeding happening plus the hemotoma being gone from sight would indicate that the blood was just from that. Still, how terrifying to go through that.

Mara, mama to two boys born 05/2009 and 04/2011, after four miscarriages. 

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#75 of 269 Old 11-06-2008, 05:25 PM
 
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Heatherh - : : : YAY : : : Congrats! You are here for the long haul now

Crissie - sounds like things are a-ok, phew!!!

M actually called last night and we had a good chat and I feel better Can't wait for the ultrasound tomorrow morning!!!
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#76 of 269 Old 11-06-2008, 05:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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M actually called last night and we had a good chat and I feel better Can't wait for the ultrasound tomorrow morning!!!
I am so happy you talked with her. Cannot wait to hear the update tomorrow!
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#77 of 269 Old 11-06-2008, 05:52 PM
 
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M actually called last night and we had a good chat and I feel better Can't wait for the ultrasound tomorrow morning!!!
That's great news! I can't wait to hear about the u/s tomorrow!
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#78 of 269 Old 11-07-2008, 10:06 AM
 
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Please send positive sticky vibes my way. I'm having a little dark red spotting today. No cramping at this point, but I keep concentrating to see if I feel any. Sigh. Maybe this is left over from the small hematoma they saw a couple weeks ago? I really haven't had any bleeding since that day. Maybe it's another tear?
I don't really want to call the ob and go in for an u/s, because I'm not ready to hear bad news. Does that make sense? There's nothing they can do, right, so it won't hurt to wait and see what happens?
My morning sickness has eased up a little in the past few days, too, and it never has done that this early (9w5d) except when I had the missed m/c in 2000. But I'm on nausea medication this time and never have been before, so I guess it's comparing apples to oranges. I still have sensitive nipples.

I was *just* getting into the idea that we might actually get another little one and I told one friend, the first person I've told, yesterday that we are expecting.

I hope all this worry is for nothing. Please send prayers that this little one is still growing strong and safe. Thanks ladies.

Attached, homeschooling mom to Sam (10), Henry (8), Clara (5--now in public school Kindergarten) and Noah (2)

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#79 of 269 Old 11-07-2008, 12:57 PM
 
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Please send positive sticky vibes my way. I hope all this worry is for nothing. Please send prayers that this little one is still growing strong and safe. Thanks ladies.
Absolutely. : Sending all my good vibes for your sticky one!

Mara, mama to two boys born 05/2009 and 04/2011, after four miscarriages. 

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#80 of 269 Old 11-07-2008, 01:21 PM
 
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I'm still here, you guys! 9w5d - a new record. No bleeding or any signs of trouble. Phew.
yay! I am right behind you at 9w4d although no milestones passed for me yet (and a while to go to 12 wks)

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I had a scary morning.
I could use your positive thoughts. My poor h is so stressed out.
I am so glad you got reassuring news! It definitely sounds like it was just the hematoma. But what a panic you must have had, so sorry!

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Please send positive sticky vibes my way. I'm having a little dark red spotting today. No cramping at this point, but I keep concentrating to see if I feel any. Sigh. Maybe this is left over from the small hematoma they saw a couple weeks ago? I really haven't had any bleeding since that day. Maybe it's another tear?
I don't really want to call the ob and go in for an u/s, because I'm not ready to hear bad news. Does that make sense? There's nothing they can do, right, so it won't hurt to wait and see what happens?
My morning sickness has eased up a little in the past few days, too, and it never has done that this early (9w5d) except when I had the missed m/c in 2000. But I'm on nausea medication this time and never have been before, so I guess it's comparing apples to oranges. I still have sensitive nipples.

I was *just* getting into the idea that we might actually get another little one and I told one friend, the first person I've told, yesterday that we are expecting.

I hope all this worry is for nothing. Please send prayers that this little one is still growing strong and safe. Thanks ladies.
I understand the wait and see thing, I am doing the same by putting off an u/s until 12wks. I kind of want to see bad news myself rather than get it from a u/s, if that makes sense. I don't think waiting and seeing is a bad idea if its what you want to do. It certainly could be the hematoma still so hopefully there is nothing to worry about!!


me: my nausea has morphed a few times in the last two weeks - at first I was queasy when hungry and eating would help. I only threw up once, some dry heaves, but just mostly queasiness. Last week and earlier this week it was the same when I was hungry, but eating (if I ate a bit too much) would turn into this terrible heartburn feeling, which sucked. Now, starting yesterday, I seem to just be queasy, all the time, hungry or not!

I only biked to work once this week too, which is making me feel like a bit of a slug. The election got me up late that night and the rest of the week I was just feeling way too awful in the morning and was sleeping too late.

I am constantly, despite the nausea, kind of 'forgetting' that I am pregnant. Or I guess, I am just not embracing it yet, just sort of biding my time until the 12wk mark. I guess I am just pretty pessimistic about whether it'll lead to anything, even though I have so many indications that it might (the pregnancy feeling so different from last time being a big one) When I do think about the pregnancy, I can't help but think about the u/s and how I am going to 'deal' with it. Whether I want them to point the screen at me right away, or only if there's 'something to see', etc. I guess the trauma of last time I want to avoid, though I know there's no way to really avoid it. I was joking w/ the mr. this morning that maybe I could ask for sedation for it!

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#81 of 269 Old 11-07-2008, 01:59 PM
 
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sonuptosundown: I'm 9w5d and my morning sickness has been diminishing, though it's still here. The "what's going on this week" sites I've been reading have said that the placenta is starting to function, meaning that morning sickness should decrease. And, if you simply google "9 weeks morning sickness" you'll find a lot of people talking about how it's diminished.

Ok, really random question time: I think my uterus might be out of my pelvis. I typically feel random twinges and pulls in very specific parts of my uterus throughout my cycle, and even more so in pregnancy. Because of this, I have a pretty good idea of what random pains in the uterus feel like.

Well, today, I was getting the cramping/pulling/stretching/minor ow at the top of my uterus....which was above the pelvis. Anyone know how to tell where their uterus is? I can't imagine why I'd have an identical pain that feels VERY much like a uterus pain in not my uterus.

Ashley, Pagan treehugger.gif mama to E (6/09) and my beautiful hbac.gif baby T (4/3/12)
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#82 of 269 Old 11-07-2008, 02:10 PM
 
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yay! I am right behind you at 9w4d although no milestones passed for me yet (and a while to go to 12 wks)

I understand the wait and see thing, I am doing the same by putting off an u/s until 12wks. I kind of want to see bad news myself rather than get it from a u/s, if that makes sense. I don't think waiting and seeing is a bad idea if its what you want to do. It certainly could be the hematoma still so hopefully there is nothing to worry about!!


me: I am constantly, despite the nausea, kind of 'forgetting' that I am pregnant. Or I guess, I am just not embracing it yet, just sort of biding my time until the 12wk mark. I guess I am just pretty pessimistic about whether it'll lead to anything, even though I have so many indications that it might (the pregnancy feeling so different from last time being a big one) When I do think about the pregnancy, I can't help but think about the u/s and how I am going to 'deal' with it. Whether I want them to point the screen at me right away, or only if there's 'something to see', etc. I guess the trauma of last time I want to avoid, though I know there's no way to really avoid it. I was joking w/ the mr. this morning that maybe I could ask for sedation for it!
Thanks for the sticky vibes--so far just a little brown spotting since the red and a sort of "irritated" feeling in my uterus, the same as I felt a couple weeks ago when they saw the hematoma. So I'm hoping it's just a little more bleeding from that one or another one that is irritating my uterus. It's definitely not cramps, so I guess that's good. And yes Seafox, I feel like if something bad happens I want to discover it myself or at least get used to the idea before finding out in a dark u/s room. But for now I'm feeling like things are probably ok. Fingers crossed.

And Seafox--I think it's an excellent sign that your symptoms are so different this time than your first pregnancy. My first pregnancy was very similar to your first, it sounds like--saw hb at 8 weeks, thought all was fine (thanks to the ob who was all, "the chances of m/c after seeing the hb are practically nothing!", then no bleeding, cramping, and just relatively slight morning sickness compared to later pregnancies until 12 weeks when we found out baby had been gone for weeks. I totally remember how hesitant I was to consider that I could even carry a baby after the first m/c, just that--we'll wait and see. It's hard. But I do think it's *excellent* that you feel so different than the first time!!!!
And LOL on the sedation! In our pregnancy following the missed m/c pgcy, when we ended up with our ds1, I remember practically yelling at the dr. after he studied the u/s screen silently for a few seconds: "good or bad, good or bad?!?!" I was a wreck. It was good news that time, though!

Attached, homeschooling mom to Sam (10), Henry (8), Clara (5--now in public school Kindergarten) and Noah (2)

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#83 of 269 Old 11-07-2008, 02:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Please send positive sticky vibes my way. I'm having a little dark red spotting today. No cramping at this point, but I keep concentrating to see if I feel any. Sigh. Maybe this is left over from the small hematoma they saw a couple weeks ago? I really haven't had any bleeding since that day. Maybe it's another tear?
I don't really want to call the ob and go in for an u/s, because I'm not ready to hear bad news. Does that make sense? There's nothing they can do, right, so it won't hurt to wait and see what happens?
My morning sickness has eased up a little in the past few days, too, and it never has done that this early (9w5d) except when I had the missed m/c in 2000. But I'm on nausea medication this time and never have been before, so I guess it's comparing apples to oranges. I still have sensitive nipples.

I was *just* getting into the idea that we might actually get another little one and I told one friend, the first person I've told, yesterday that we are expecting.

I hope all this worry is for nothing. Please send prayers that this little one is still growing strong and safe. Thanks ladies.
You are in my thoughts!

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Ok, really random question time: I think my uterus might be out of my pelvis. I typically feel random twinges and pulls in very specific parts of my uterus throughout my cycle, and even more so in pregnancy. Because of this, I have a pretty good idea of what random pains in the uterus feel like.

Well, today, I was getting the cramping/pulling/stretching/minor ow at the top of my uterus....which was above the pelvis. Anyone know how to tell where their uterus is? I can't imagine why I'd have an identical pain that feels VERY much like a uterus pain in not my uterus.
Your uterus will fear harder...not mushy.
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#84 of 269 Old 11-07-2008, 02:15 PM
 
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sonuptosundown: I'm 9w5d and my morning sickness has been diminishing, though it's still here. The "what's going on this week" sites I've been reading have said that the placenta is starting to function, meaning that morning sickness should decrease. And, if you simply google "9 weeks morning sickness" you'll find a lot of people talking about how it's diminished.

Ok, really random question time: I think my uterus might be out of my pelvis. I typically feel random twinges and pulls in very specific parts of my uterus throughout my cycle, and even more so in pregnancy. Because of this, I have a pretty good idea of what random pains in the uterus feel like.

Well, today, I was getting the cramping/pulling/stretching/minor ow at the top of my uterus....which was above the pelvis. Anyone know how to tell where their uterus is? I can't imagine why I'd have an identical pain that feels VERY much like a uterus pain in not my uterus.
Sigh, that's a relief to hear, sunflwrmoonbean--I thought ms was peaking at this point, but am happy to be wrong.

As for where the uterus is, I have no idea. I thought I read in a post here that it doesn't pop out of the pelvis until 11 weeks? I don't think I can feel mine yet, and I've been poking around trying to feel it. I'm curious to know!

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#85 of 269 Old 11-07-2008, 02:17 PM
 
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"Your uterus will fear harder...not mushy."

Ok, how do you differentiate that from the abs? My abs feel rather hard underneath my layer of flab.

Ashley, Pagan treehugger.gif mama to E (6/09) and my beautiful hbac.gif baby T (4/3/12)
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#86 of 269 Old 11-07-2008, 02:28 PM
 
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Ashley, I"ve been wondering this myself. Last weekend (8w1 and 2d) I had a sensation behind my navel of a pulling up motion. My belly is kind of different throughout the day. Larger and harder as the day goes on.

So glad to hear that the m/s diminishing is normal at this point. I def. still feel the low-level chronic stuff, but not the acute waves. No puking still.

My prob is that my first two pgs (that resulted in babies) I had noooooo symptoms besides a little fatigue. The last two (both m/c) I had this same nausea and fatigue that gets worse and worse as the day goes on. I go on and off my supplements because they really bother my stomach, no matter how slowly I take them throughout the day. I tell myself it's because it's a boy (vs. my girls), not because I'm destined to m/c again.

Still (at 9w today!) haven't colored my hair or done anything else that might lead me to believe that I'm at fault if I m/c. The guilt last time was so overwhelming to me. So, I look like a pg granny with all my gray hair!

Me : living with and loving papa and the kids: Dd1 8/97 , dd2 8/04 and my sweet baby ds 5/09 : :
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#87 of 269 Old 11-07-2008, 02:34 PM
 
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When I first got pregnant, I had some nausea and dry heaving, that went away for about a week. At 6.5 weeks I started barfing regularly, like 2-3 times a day. I'm now, finally, getting a break from all that. I have more nausea now, like at the beginning, but less barfing, and i even had one day when I wasn't sick at all. Of course, that was followed by my single worst day yet (and the election day!), but now it seems to be some nausea, some mild barfing, and new food aversions.

Who ever heard of almost throwing up while eating a banana?

Ashley, Pagan treehugger.gif mama to E (6/09) and my beautiful hbac.gif baby T (4/3/12)
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#88 of 269 Old 11-07-2008, 02:49 PM
 
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sonuptosondown - Sending sticky vibes your way! I think the theory that it's the hematoma is very reasonable.

I am waiting and seeing, too. We have an appt in 2 weeks where we hope to hear a HB with doppler. But I catch myself imagining things not going as we're hoping - so I try to refocus myself on positive thoughts and how we want it to go. I just hope we get a HB so I don't have to debate about doing an u/s - too many *bad* memories from the last few.

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sonuptosundown: I'm 9w5d and my morning sickness has been diminishing, though it's still here. The "what's going on this week" sites I've been reading have said that the placenta is starting to function, meaning that morning sickness should decrease. And, if you simply google "9 weeks morning sickness" you'll find a lot of people talking about how it's diminished.
This is awesome news! My m/s has been getting worse, if anything, but this gives me hope that I don't have to live like this for another 4 weeks! Must tell DH that there's hope.

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Anyone know how to tell where their uterus is?
I would like to know this, too! I'm having a hard time differentiating between abs vs uterus. If I lay on my back and really relax, I can get my abs a little squishier, but still feeling kind of clueless.

ktmama - Yipee for 9 weeks! :

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Who ever heard of almost throwing up while eating a banana?
One of my first really bad m/s moments was after eating a banana one day around 7? weeks. I felt super sick and had lots of diarrhea. It was awful. I have only eaten 1/2 banana since - they're OK in smoothies.

Oh yeah, I'm 10 weeks tomorrow!
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#89 of 269 Old 11-07-2008, 02:53 PM
 
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Who ever heard of almost throwing up while eating a banana?
Me. Although it was nowhere near as bad as throwing up that apple moments after eating it. Yummy. Or, come to think of it, as bad as last week when DH and I went to Ruby Tuesday's: I drank a glass of sweet tea before the meal and it immediately came back up. That was just weird.

I'm 10w2d today, and still sick-feeling. That's a new record for me!

Mara, mama to two boys born 05/2009 and 04/2011, after four miscarriages. 

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#90 of 269 Old 11-07-2008, 03:03 PM
 
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Me. Although it was nowhere near as bad as throwing up that apple moments after eating it. Yummy. Or, come to think of it, as bad as last week when DH and I went to Ruby Tuesday's: I drank a glass of sweet tea before the meal and it immediately came back up. That was just weird.

I'm 10w2d today, and still sick-feeling. That's a new record for me!
Yeah, definitely have to remember to chew food very well before swallowing--much less painful coming back up!: I threw up yesterday because of a bad smell right after drinking my pregnancy tea with peppermint in it. At least that peppermint made it a pleasant experience I tried a couple times to relate these events to dh and he's just not interested in the details--I can't figure it out! LOL

Yay for 10w2d and a new record, weasley! That must feel great! Sending sticky vibes to you!

Attached, homeschooling mom to Sam (10), Henry (8), Clara (5--now in public school Kindergarten) and Noah (2)

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