I told my parents.... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 11-06-2008, 11:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So I called and told my parents that we were expecting again. I talked to my dad. I got a long silence. Then, all he said was, "is this something you were planning?"

I said, well not exactly, but we are very excited.

He said nothing else. It was a very awkward conversation. He asked about the kids. And did not say congrats. He said "well, keep us updates."

At least he did not say what I expected him to say. I thought he would say something a little more negative. I am kidna sad about this. I recently moved to SC. My family lives here. And now, me and my mom are not on speaking terms. We have always been so close and especially during my labors and deliveries. I feel like maybe at some point during this pregnancy we will begin mending the fence, so to speak. But I am sad that I could not celebrate with her. At the same time, the thought of sharing this with her makes me sick. Sorry, I am rambling.

nurse, mama, doula-in-training to J-14, J-13, S-7, S-4, and P-2(born at home)
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#2 of 9 Old 11-06-2008, 11:32 PM
 
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I'm sorry that his reaction was less than stellar.

*hugs*

I hope that your mom and you can find common ground again.
Much love.

Jenn - Mom, Photographer, Barista 

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#3 of 9 Old 11-07-2008, 12:38 AM
 
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Is there a way that this could be a catalyst for mending fences with your mother?

Weary SuperMama superhero.gifto my  amazing neurodiverse 6 y.o. DD hearts.gif and to my on-the-go neurotypical 3 y.o. DS wild.gif

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#4 of 9 Old 11-07-2008, 09:31 AM
 
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This is why I am hoping to not be showing much at Thanksgiving, because we are going to visit the in-laws and I'm pretty sure their reaction would be "Really...another one? Was this planned?"
They were set on us having two, as if it was their decision.
My parents on the other hand are ecstatic

Emily Wife to Luke and Mama to: Violet 9-20-05 Fletcher 12-20-07 : and Owen 7-03-09
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#5 of 9 Old 11-07-2008, 10:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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so, i was telling dh last night about the conversation with my dad. he cut me off and said , " well i do not know why you are upset that people think we are idiots. we ARE idiots. I feel like a moron! For having another kid right now. we can not even afford to live right now. the last thing we needed to be doing was having another baby."



I did not continue my story. i just looked away. it made me really sad. I feel guilty for being pregnant! it makes me sick. i should not feel guilty. but i know people around us are judging us for this. i would be willing to bet that every singel person that know right now has had a conversation or at least the thoughts that we were really stupid for having another baby. I would have much rathered not tell ANYONE! then i would have gotten SHIT for that for sure.

GGRRRRR!!!

nurse, mama, doula-in-training to J-14, J-13, S-7, S-4, and P-2(born at home)
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#6 of 9 Old 11-07-2008, 11:07 AM
 
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I'm so so sorry. I can't believe your dh said that!

I'll share my story from when we announced the pregnancy of our 3rd child to my mother in law. We told her that I was pregnant and her response was that we do not need to be having another child (umm why? we were doing wonderfully with our 2 kids). She asked "When are you due?" We told her my EDD and she said, "No not that.. when are you due for your snip snip?" She was insinuating that dh needed to go and get a vasectomy! As though it's ANY of her business. She also stated that she would never babysit all 3 of our children. I just can't believe she reacted that way.

Bethany, mama to M (9), J (7), S (4), and baby BOY 9/13/10!!
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#7 of 9 Old 11-07-2008, 11:08 AM
 
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Wow. I'm sorry your husband is so negative about this. Perhaps it might be useful to remind him that it takes two people to make a baby and he had a part in this. It's certainly NOT your responsibility to bear alone and nothing you need to feel guilty about.

Hugs to you, Mama.

Weary SuperMama superhero.gifto my  amazing neurodiverse 6 y.o. DD hearts.gif and to my on-the-go neurotypical 3 y.o. DS wild.gif

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#8 of 9 Old 11-07-2008, 11:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DH goes back and forth about being excited. It is really confusing. The last time we talked about it, he said he thought maybe this was a blessing since he did not enjoy our previous 2 pregnancies and births. He is a recovering addict. He was not sober most of our last 2. He is sober now and SAID he was looking forward to the whole thing this time.

I really thank you all for being here. I love the DDC! Even though we all just came together. I am glad we have the support here on MDC.

nurse, mama, doula-in-training to J-14, J-13, S-7, S-4, and P-2(born at home)
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#9 of 9 Old 11-07-2008, 12:06 PM
 
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My DH was really wishy-washy about my pregnancy with DS up until like.. 34 weeks. He went back and forth between being excited and thinking we were complete morons. It was hurtful but just try and remember that he is processing this change in his own way, that way just happens to be tactless and hurtful!!! Have you talked to him about how comments like that make you feel?

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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