My baby is gone... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 30 Old 11-08-2008, 11:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It seems that my uneasy feelings all this week were right on. When I went to my doctor's appt. on Thursday he did an U/S and found no heart beat and apparently my baby had stopped growing about a week after my last scan when we had seen the heartbeat. I went Friday to confirm at the hospital and late yesterday had a D&C since apparently my body was not picking up on the loss.

I am heartbroken, shocked and can hardly believe that this happened. It's crazy how quickly such a miracle can be snatched away. I keep thinking and wondering if there was something that I did wrong... was it bad that I had taken Zofran for my horrible morning sickness, was it the early U/S scan that I had, did I do something else wrong? Was it bad that I took a bath - did I get too hot? I am sure it's none of the above, but I still wish I knew what happened.

At any rate... I am hoping to try again soon... please say a prayer that we have a safe and healthy pregnancy next time around.

Good luck to everyone here, though I may not be around much, I will be thinking of all of you! I may stop in time to time to see how everyone is doing. Wishing you all lots of healthy beautiful babies next year!! Thank you for all of your support!!
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#2 of 30 Old 11-08-2008, 11:33 PM
 
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omg Fan

I'm so sorry, honey.

Jenn - Mom, Photographer, Barista 

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#3 of 30 Old 11-08-2008, 11:43 PM
 
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Oh Fan, I'm so so sorry for your loss.
I'm sure that none of those things made a difference.
Take care of yourself

Mama to DD (June '09) and very newly expecting #2 Oct '11
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#4 of 30 Old 11-08-2008, 11:45 PM
 
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Fan.... I've been in your shoes all too often. With my pg before having my son, I had an u/s at 6wks - totally normal with a strong hb. Went back at 12 wks because my midwife couldn't find a hb with the doppler - gone at around 8 weeks. It was explained to me then that the transition around 8 weeks is a tough one and lots of little ones don't make it. That's when the placenta and umbilical cord get set up and attached and if there's anything going on there, it just doesn't work out.

Something else I've learned (after 7 losses) is that there's NOTHING you did to cause this.....it just happened. It also doesn't matter how sick you are or how dark your pg test was.....sometimes it just happens.

Take gentle care of yourself and please let any guilt or blame you might be feeling go out to the ether, where it belongs. This was NOT your fault and you'll be holding your little one in your arms in no time at all.

Shannon & Paul...married since 2000. Parents to Alexander Paul Martin - 30 October, 2003 Grace Elizabeth Maile - 12 June, 2009
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#5 of 30 Old 11-08-2008, 11:48 PM
 
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(((hugs)))
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#6 of 30 Old 11-09-2008, 12:13 AM
 
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i'm so sorry
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#7 of 30 Old 11-09-2008, 02:09 AM
 
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Oh Fan



I'm so sorry!!!! You did NOTHING wrong. Please don't blame yourself. Take care of yourself honey.

stillheart.gif The Hippie & the Marine stillheart.gif  hh2.gif
My boys: S (4) & O (2) & Expecting #3 in Dec. 2011

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#8 of 30 Old 11-09-2008, 02:39 AM
 
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Oh honey I'm so sorry.

 dreads.gif  ribbonyellow.gif Proud Army Wife to DH ribbonyellow.gif  mama to one busy boy blahblah.gif and his dog2.gif  
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#9 of 30 Old 11-09-2008, 08:55 AM
 
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I am so sorry.
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#10 of 30 Old 11-09-2008, 09:01 AM
 
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I am sorry.

nurse, mama, doula-in-training to J-14, J-13, S-7, S-4, and P-2(born at home)
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#11 of 30 Old 11-09-2008, 09:04 AM
 
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not in your ddc but sending love and prayers!
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#12 of 30 Old 11-09-2008, 10:37 AM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss

My first pregnancy ended similarly... I began bleeding at 12w (just when I thought I was "in the clear") and an u/s showed that the baby stopped growing around 6w It absolutely devastated me. And has left me apprehensive about these early weeks ever since...

Wishing you & your family peace, health & healing in these weeks to come - and a healthy pregnancy next time

Amanda , mama to my two boys: N (10/06) and : A (7/09)
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#13 of 30 Old 11-09-2008, 10:46 AM
 
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I am so so sorry for your loss.

Doula, Wife and mom to A (11/23/01) and O (5/7/09)
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#14 of 30 Old 11-09-2008, 10:46 AM
 
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I am so sorry. My last pregnancy was a missed m/c too, they are tough to deal with. I kept thinking of things I did too that might have affected it, but its rarely the case that you could have changed the outcome.

wishing you a speedy recovery and a healthy next pregnancy . . .

mom to z (June 2009) and m (may 2011)

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#15 of 30 Old 11-09-2008, 01:58 PM
 
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Oh, I am very sorry

Happily married and unschooling 5 kiddos. Oct. 2004, July, 2007, July, 2009, Oct. 2010, Nov. 2012 
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#16 of 30 Old 11-09-2008, 03:33 PM
 
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I'm very sorry.
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#17 of 30 Old 11-09-2008, 03:56 PM
 
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I'm so very sorry.

Mama to Gabe 8-03 and Cyan 5-09
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#18 of 30 Old 11-09-2008, 04:00 PM
 
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So sorry! You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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#19 of 30 Old 11-09-2008, 04:27 PM
 
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I'm so sorry

Becky, partner to Teague, SAHM to Keagan (7yo), Jonah (2yo)
 

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#20 of 30 Old 11-09-2008, 04:36 PM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss.

Wife of Michael , SAHM to Aristotle 09/99 Raphael 06/07 and Marius 05/09 Known only in dreams but never forgotten: Euphrates Decluttering 290/2010
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#21 of 30 Old 11-09-2008, 04:54 PM
 
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I'm so sorry Fan.

Carlin blowkiss.gif - loving life with DH guitar.gif and 2 amazing daughtersenergy.gifbaby.gif

 

 

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#22 of 30 Old 11-09-2008, 06:09 PM
 
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I am so sorry to hear the news, thinking and praying for you and your family ...
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#23 of 30 Old 11-10-2008, 12:20 AM
 
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Please know that we're here for you if you need extra support

Mama to 2 little darling squooshy faces
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#24 of 30 Old 11-10-2008, 01:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you ladies! It's so comforting to know that there are so many out there that care. Hugs!!
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#25 of 30 Old 11-10-2008, 06:12 PM
 
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Oh, honey, I am so very sorry!
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#26 of 30 Old 11-10-2008, 06:22 PM
 
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I'm so sorry!!

momma to my girls (9) (7) (4) (3) (7m) &
my little ones held only in my heart 4/12-17/00~8/01-twins~11/04~3/05~11/08
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#27 of 30 Old 11-10-2008, 06:23 PM
 
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I'm so sorry!

Married to my best friend, expecting #1 6/09. Little angel came early- 4/10/09, 2lbs 5oz. Lilah Grace:
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#28 of 30 Old 11-10-2008, 08:04 PM
 
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I'm so sorry Please don't blame yourself, you did nothing wrong. Take Care and Relax.

Mom to 4, & a Baby Girl in Heaven 01/2009. Missing my New Angel 12/2009
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#29 of 30 Old 11-11-2008, 05:46 PM
 
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I'm so sorry! *hugs*
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#30 of 30 Old 11-11-2008, 07:06 PM
 
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: Mom to a wonderful teen girl, a happy little boy and a cute baby girl
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