Kindy moms--is it really like this? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 64 Old 03-29-2009, 09:44 AM
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This system, and the teacher's attitude about it, were our catalysts for pulling DS out of Kindy to homeschool.

DS was one of those kids for whom it is impossible to sit still for very long. But he's sensitive and wants to be well-behaved. This system embarassed him in front of his peers and made him believe he was "bad." He started wetting his bed and having stomach aches before school and he became surly and negative.

When I spoke to the guidance counselor about it, he said he couldn't believe there was no way for him to redeem himself and earn back the prize at the end of the week. He went on and on about how important that was for the child's self-esteem, etc.

When he and I went to speak to the teacher about it, she was *indignant* at the very idea that a child would be able to earn it back. And the guidance counselor didn't say a word to help me out with the argument.

The teacher acted as if my child was the only one who had this issue and there must be something wrong with him (which I know was not the case, as I knew many of the other moms.) She told me he was doing so well academically that she would recommend him for gifted *if* his behavior "improved." I could see the writing on the wall when I started getting daily notes home--soon there would be recommendations about medicating my child.

No thanks. I pulled him out and we've been happily and successfully homeschooling since.

DS1: 2/02 ROTFLMAO.gif DD: 9/04 blahblah.gif DS2: 9/07jog.gif and EDD: 11/13 belly.gif

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#62 of 64 Old 03-29-2009, 08:20 PM
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My ds's school uses this and it seems like it is really effective. Something I've noticed though, is it takes a lot of misbehavior to get a card flipped. It's not as if one time talking out of turn gets the kid all the way to a red card. It's only when it's an ongoing issue throughout the day that they start flipping cards.
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#63 of 64 Old 03-30-2009, 02:27 PM
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I'm working on my master's in education, and almost every elementary school uses that concept, as well as a "token economy" for doing good things = getting from the "prize bucket."

I detest it all with an undying passion, and refuse to put our kids into that kind of system.

Ready Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn. It will blow your mind!

Emily--Married to the love of my life 2008--Joyful mommy to Rachel Elizabeth 12/10
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#64 of 64 Old 03-31-2009, 01:32 PM
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I volunteer in my son's classroom and observed, it takes alot of warnings to turn a card.
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