Sigh - I feel like I'm throwing her to the dogs... - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-22-2004, 01:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DD and I had kindergarten registration today, and it was both good and bad.

Good, because she is a bright, enthusiastic, cheerful child and the staff members who met with her gushed about how terrific she is to me afterwards. I'm sure she'll do very well in school.

Bad, because I worry that the innocence she has now will be shattered and she'll come home singing Britney Spears songs and telling fart jokes...please don't laugh; I know it sounds funny but I'm not trying to be facetious, really.

I also worry that school will not challenge her enough and that she'll be able to get good grades without ever having to push herself. I was like that as a kid - a good reader, bright, and so on, and school was easy so I never had to try that hard. I see the effects in me as an adult - I can be pretty lazy about things.

Please don't suggest homeschooling - I think homeschooling is a wonderful thing, but it is not a choice for me and my child (unless we find that school is totally ruining her!). We live in a great area where the parents are well educated, the schools are supposed to be great...I should get over this, right???
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Old 01-22-2004, 02:02 AM
 
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Sorry, I don't really have any supportive things to say. I have felt the very, VERY same way you describe and that is why we homeschool.

Heidi : Married for 15 years, expecting our 8th baby in July!

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Old 01-22-2004, 06:22 AM
 
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I always have worried every year with every different choice we have made for each of our kids LOL there is always something to worry about when you have children growing up and facing new experiences


LunaMom worries because she loves her liitle girl and wants the best for her -
she is a caring mama

my advice is to reassure yourself by becoming more familiar with the school and staff - think happy positive thoughts and find good things to keep in your mind as your mantra
talk to some other neighborhood moms that have kids in first grade - you may find a kindred soul that can reassure you IRL
then read about kindergarten and starting school to your child
( Joanna Cole has some wonderful books out about the first day of school) if you are $$ strapped email me and I will mail you one from my bulging shelf o books
when school starts if you feel worried for her still, involve yourself in her school day by volunteering at the school or in the classroom someway
also journaling is a help to write out how you feel and then wait a bit and write out again if you still think your fears are founded, kind of self analyzing, your experience is school does not predict failure or success for your child, even if your personalitys are similiar - her experience can be different based on the environment around her - when I try to project my feelings on paper sometimes I can sort things out better in my head later, to re read. I hope that makes sense
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Old 01-22-2004, 06:41 AM
 
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Volunteer!

I teach K and LOVE parent volunteers. Approach the teacher and let her know you'd like to be involved and help in any way you can

Go to school and have lunch w/her in the cafeteria. Those kids whose parents have lunch w/them are VERY cool in kinder. Even in 1st and 2nd grades, too.
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Old 01-22-2004, 01:16 PM
 
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Yes, volunteer! Join the PTA! You'll get to know the other kids, parents, teachers and staff. You'll have very concrete knowledge of what is going on at school and you'll have a better idea how to tweak those areas that you feel need it. I know that it really is important to me and my kids that I be an active, involved part of their education both at school and at home. Besides, it's fun!
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Old 01-22-2004, 01:29 PM
 
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Or you could look at it that you're giving her a chance to spread her special joy and love around a larger part of your community. It is a privilege for everyone to meet your special, wonderful child, and she will give a lot to the school. When she does that, she grows herself in marvelous ways.
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Old 01-23-2004, 12:19 AM
 
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Another thing to think about is that if she is not challenged enough in school, you can help challenge her at home with interesting discussions and fact finding missions. PUblic School will never be able to give our children the individualized attention that we give them as parents--but we can when they get home.

It is hard to let go of our babies into k-garten. I agree, to volunteer and keep in touch with the class and the school are great ideas.

 
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Old 01-24-2004, 09:18 PM
 
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(((((HUGS))))) I feel the *same* way and ds dosen't start K for another year....I am already having such STRONG mixed emotions about it....I could have written your post word for word!

Grace - photographer, wife and mom to 4 great kids (Ethan 5.00, Ainsley 4.02, Owen 12.04, and Ellis Ann 10.07) :
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Old 01-25-2004, 01:30 AM
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LunaMom - I struggle with this every day!

My oldest is in 4th grade and it never gets easy to turn him over. I do agree with many of the other posters, volunteer. The teachers and staff get to know you and then it's all good!
Volunteering is the key to it all in public school. I request teachers every year and always get who I want. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that I bust my butt at that school.

I'm not sure I can do middle school though. I will probably homeschool for middle school for all three of my kids. Directly because of the things that you mentioned, just to name a few....

The older kids get, the more the grades matter and the less they matter. Sad......

Trying to do the right thing with three kids and a hubby. 
ds20, dd18, ds17
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