Breakfast of Champions - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 06-17-2009, 04:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DD's school has an annual Father's Day breakfast, and this year the parents organizing it chose to call it Breakfast of Champions and say it is for "your child and the special man in his/her life." Clearly they are trying to show consideration for children who might have single moms, or any other family arrangement where there might not be a father available.

Another mom I know thought this was ridiculous, and that she thinks people try too hard to be "pc," which I do agree with sometimes, but as someone who was raised by a divorced mother and had a deadbeat dad myself, I might have appreciated the effort to include kids like me if this sort of thing had even been thought about back when I was a kid. This woman was all bent out of shape and said that it should be honoring FATHERS because it is Father's Day, and for that reason she is having her husband and children not attend.

I told her I disagreed with her, but it was really hard to restrain myself. I also said, "Well, I would have appreciated that kind of sensitivity when I was a kid," but she didn't ask why. I guess I can understand that she thinks it isn't necessary to be so PC - even though I don't quite agree with that - but to get all bent out of shape about it?

Just a vent really, but any thoughts?
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#2 of 10 Old 06-17-2009, 10:23 PM
 
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I have to agree with you. I think there are numerous children that do not have regular contact with a father, but may have a grandfather, a mentor, a Big Brother, uncle, etc. How fabulous if they feel free to invite that man.

It reminds me of the event our PTO has to honor 'grandfriends.' Many children invite their grandparents, but my children don't have access to grandparents (one set has died, the other lives far away). Gracious older friends from church usually attend so my children can feel a part of things.

Your friend may think this event undermines the "traditional family," but it really doesn't. It honors it and goes one step beyond to be inclusive.

 
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#3 of 10 Old 06-17-2009, 10:24 PM
 
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P.S. I thought your thread was going to be about eating Wheaties before school!

 
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#4 of 10 Old 06-17-2009, 11:50 PM
 
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I have to disagree with the other mom. Would she rather the school send the message of "sorry your dad has died, is deployed fighting for our country, was a deadbeat or just isn't interested in you, this is for kids and dad's only"? I would hope not! It sounds like she's more focused on the fact that she's married and other kids will bring in their mom's partner (and so what if they do?), and not thinking it all the way through. What about the little one who's daddy is serving in Iraq right now? How would having his uncle go with him remotely undermine the importance his dad has to him? Should he be excluded from a school event because of his dad's contribution to our country? Really the more I think on it, the less sense I can see in her perspective.
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#5 of 10 Old 06-18-2009, 09:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for putting your fingers right on what was bothering me - I couldn't quite verbalize it yesterday, but yes, it is as though she feels that somehow being inclusive undermines traditional families. It seemed as though she felt somehow threatened by the whole thing. She didn't seem to care if "non-fathers" attended, but she did not like the fact that they changed the name. She said if they care so much about including those other families they can have a different event, but this should honor fathers and be called what it is. Hmmmm. Think she's against gay marriage?
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#6 of 10 Old 06-18-2009, 10:10 AM
 
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Think she's against gay marriage?
That would be my guess.

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#7 of 10 Old 06-18-2009, 11:19 AM
 
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I have to agree with you. I think there are numerous children that do not have regular contact with a father, but may have a grandfather, a mentor, a Big Brother, uncle, etc. How fabulous if they feel free to invite that man.

It reminds me of the event our PTO has to honor 'grandfriends.' Many children invite their grandparents, but my children don't have access to grandparents (one set has died, the other lives far away). Gracious older friends from church usually attend so my children can feel a part of things.

Your friend may think this event undermines the "traditional family," but it really doesn't. It honors it and goes one step beyond to be inclusive.
I agree completely! I didn't have a dad nearby either for many years and a big Father's Day celebration can put a very fine point on that. I think its wonderful what the school is doing.

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#8 of 10 Old 06-18-2009, 10:16 PM
 
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My family would LOVE something like this...although I think dads are wonderful (I have a wonderful one myself), our daughters do not and will never have a dad, instead they have two moms. And I really appreciate people going out of the way to be open to different kinds of family structures--in fact our local Rainbow Families advocacy project recommends replacing Mother's & Father's day events with special person or family day celebrations. So I think your school rocks....and who knows what that other mom's agenda is?
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#9 of 10 Old 06-19-2009, 02:32 AM
 
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I do think the wording is a little strange, but I don't know how I would change it. For some reason, to me, "Special Man in Your Life" sounds vaguely romantic?

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#10 of 10 Old 06-19-2009, 10:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I do think the wording is a little strange, but I don't know how I would change it. For some reason, to me, "Special Man in Your Life" sounds vaguely romantic?

Well, you know, now that I think of it, I don't even know for sure that the change of the event name was even an attempt to be inclusive - maybe the moms who are chairing it just thought "Father's Day Breakfast" sounded boring!

I also don't like that she's boycotting it because what message does this send to her children, who probably are disappointed about not going with their dad? Are they going to think that they should only particpate in events that cater to "their own kind"? I'd love to know exactly what this mom told them.
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