"holding her back" from K - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-29-2009, 05:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by craft_media_hero View Post
Yes, this is how it went for my daughter.

She was physically smaller and has always been extremely social, but she just was emotionally not in the same realm as the older 6yos that dominated her class. Fitting in became her focus instead of learning---I don't like that, already, in kindergarten?
I did just want to clarify on this in case I wasn't clear. Dd#2, re whom this was a response, probably wouldn't have done better with younger kids and fitting is wasn't hard for her, per se. She is generally a leader socially despite being small. She is, however, underestimated intellectually b/c she thinks that the other kids don't like smart kids and that it will make her unpopular to be a "geek" like her sister . She has made somewhat of a calculated choice to be "normal" and popular rather than draw attn to herself by being different in terms of academics. Like your dd, she is somewhat ahead, but she hides it to fit in. That, combined with her age and size, has made it easy for the teachers to decide that she isn't that bright and place her accordingly.

However, she is currently doing an extracurricular program with younger kids this summer and she doesn't seem to be doing too well with that either. She doesn't like that the teachers "talk down" to them -- talking like they are little kids b/c the other kids are a bit younger. So, I don't know that placing her with younger kids would have been better in terms of social fit or even academic fit. I don't know if she would have been willing to stand out more with a younger group of kids or not, but I'm thinking not.
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Old 06-29-2009, 05:53 PM
 
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This may be the wrong issue to raise, but as a high school teacher, teaching mainly seniors, I always felt that 19 year olds should not be in high school, it may give them an academic advantage in elementary school but it doesn't work at the other end.
i have always wondered that. i started kindy a few weeks shy of 5. around here, the trend is to be 6... so wouldn't that make for some old hs seniors!

i loved being on the young side, but then, i didn't know any different- i thought i was supposed to be where i was. i thought i was doing stuff a whole year earlier than other ppl and that it would be odd to be doing it all year later. but most ppl on MDC who were youngests all wish they were older.
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Old 06-29-2009, 06:39 PM
 
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I was just asking my babysitter what she thought since she's definitely on the younger side for her grade. She will turn 18 in September - as a freshman in college. Sure she drove a little later than many of her friends but, as I have long thought, she thinks that the older kids get, the less age differences matter. She was not affected socially in the least by being younger. Academically, she managed to take AP Calc her junior year of high school, at 16 y.o., and did well. At this point she can't imagine not going to college in August; she can't wait to get away . I really have no qualms about her maturity level either.
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Old 06-29-2009, 07:44 PM
 
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I don't know that most of us who were younger wish that we were older. You just always get a self-selected poll of people who feel strongly one way or another. My bd is in Sept, too and I started K right before I turned 5. I don't wish at all that I had been older. I believe that, in my instance, that would have been a mistake.
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Old 06-29-2009, 08:06 PM
 
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I don't wish I was older. I had an October birthday and was always one of the youngest in my class. Did quite well too.

Thing is, many states these days don't offer parents a lot of choice. Cut-off dates seem to be written in stone. With DS1, he started PK iin NY with a December cut-off... did fabulously. When we moved to FL, they didn't care that he had done a full-day public PS program that he excelled in. His choice was to repeat PK or wait a year and start Kindy.

Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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Old 06-30-2009, 09:13 PM
 
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Yea dates are deffiently set in stone... I have mixed feeling on that. A friend of mine DS birthday is September 1st here a student needs to be five BY this date (not on) so he'll actually have to wait another full year before he starts.

Deanna

Wife to DH since August 01 mom to a bubbly girl October 2002 and our newest gal March 2010
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Old 07-02-2009, 03:00 AM
 
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I was the youngest in my class and my son is the youngest in his. I think if the child is ready, they go, and as the mom, you know best. If you are feeling that it won't be best, wait. I agonized over my decision because of what others thought/may have thought, and I was right, dang it. I drove a year later than I could have - not every kid is chomping at the bit to drive exactly when their friends do.
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Old 07-02-2009, 10:38 AM
 
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I'm keeping my soon to be 5yo(next week!) dd out of K and substituting a play based alternative creative arts program that's a half day, 3 days a week. After this year, I would put her in 1st grade. She's a petite little girl, but already reading now, doing some addition and subtraction, and probably would be fine with the academics, so the key selling point was social skills development. Which is something that really isn't developed in the standard classroom environment.

At least in Florida, K is not required, so if I can give her more time to be a kid, I'll do everything I can. The reading is all her doing. You can't stop them if they have the desire to learn.
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Old 07-03-2009, 01:42 AM
 
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When on earth did they start *requiring* full-day K?

Send her to the half day program and see about jumping her to 1st grade after that.

I'm a 9/28 birthday and I always enjoyed being the youngest.
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Old 07-04-2009, 02:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
When on earth did they start *requiring* full-day K?

Send her to the half day program and see about jumping her to 1st grade after that.

I'm a 9/28 birthday and I always enjoyed being the youngest.
Just as an FYI, this is not possible in all states. In TX, where I live, you can hold your child out of Kindergarten, but they must attend Kindergarten to go to first grade. After first grade, they would require homeschooling to enter higher grades.
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