What do YOU call the teacher? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 09:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just wondering. Should I be addressing my childrens' teachers as Mr. & Mrs. X. Or if I am just talking to the teacher 1-1, can I call him or her by her first name. I always introduce myself to my kids' teachers by my first name and would feel weird for me if they addressed me as Ms. x (I kept my maiden name). I just wasn't sure these days what is ok and what is not ok. In front of my kids I always call the teacher Mr/Mrs X.
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#2 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 10:17 AM
 
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DCs preK was less formal -- teachers were Miss FirstName and parents were usually first name. Now in grade school it's more formal. Parents and teachers are all Mrs and Mr LastName. I stick to that in all school settings, including interactions without the kids. FWIW!

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#3 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 11:16 AM
 
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I'll answer as a teacher--I'm totally comfortable with parents calling me by first name in conferences, phone calls, emails, etc. In front of the kids I prefer to model Mrs. ____.

~Tammy
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#4 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 11:28 AM
 
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I call my kid's teachers Mrs. X in any interaction with them.

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#5 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 11:35 AM
 
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I had the SAME question. I asked my mother (who, if it matters, is politically liberal - though not crunchy) and she said Mrs. ___. Her advice might be outdated, though, but she recalls that when I was in school she didn't even KNOW the first names of any of my elementary teachers, and only two middle school teachers asked her to call them by their first names (and they were both pretty hippy). She also recalled that her father, the art and history teacher, was called Mr. ____ by everyone in town, child or adult.

DD just started Pre-K so it's my first venture into school as a parent. DD's teacher calls me and my husband by our first names and introduced herself by her first and last name. I'd be she has different parents calling her different things. I plan on calling her Mrs.___ though honestly I feel slightly uncomfortable with it. Not because I'm unwilling to give her respect but just because I'm a Yankee and around here the only last names we use are for doctors. (I also feel weird when I visit my cousins in the South, who instruct their kids to call me Miz Firstname).

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#6 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 11:38 AM
 
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Ms. or Mr. Lastname. That's the way they address me. If they want to be called by their first name, they will say so. But unless you are personal friends, I'd imagine that would almost never happen in my district as they are big on this kind of thing.
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#7 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 11:41 AM
 
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It's confusing.

DD's preschool teachers went by their firs names with the kids, so that one was easy. I don't think I ever had occasion to address her kindergarten teacher by name to her face, and always referred to her by the name DD was expected to call her when talking about her. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure what her first name was.

Her first grade teacher introduced herself to me by her first name, so that one is easy now! It's nice when they do that. I still will refer to her by Madame Last Name when discussing her with DD or even with other parents as it is just less confusing that way. I doubt I'm the only parent who tends to forget teacher's first names since all paperwork from her school and such seems to omit first names.
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#8 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 11:46 AM
 
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I call our principal Mrs....., even on emails and even though others call her by her first name. I only know her on on educational level and not a friendly level so I keep a formality. The same with the teachers as well.

I also call people Mrs or Mr or Ms until I know them on a personal level or they were formally introduced to me as John Smith. Until John says "I am John" or "this is John" its Mr Smith. But I am as my DH says- old school.

Most of the kids in the neighborhood call me Mrs Lastname as well as at school etc. I expect my dds to do the same to others. One time, my BIL was here as a family was leaving. My friend the mom said to her dd, "and be sure to thank Mrs L... for..." BIL was looking around and then said- "oh thats you! I was thinking my mom was here!" DUH.

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#9 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 12:05 PM
 
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It depends. I was working at the school until this school year(though I'll probably be subbing). Before I started working there everyone was Mrs/Mr/Miss/Ms lastname or just Madame for the french teacher. Once I was working there it was both the formal Mrs/Mr/Miss/Ms lastname & first names only. There was no rhyme or reason to when they were called first name vs formal. All the staff did it. now that I"m not working there I try to use formal but it doesn't always happen. I also hang out with some of the staff outside of the school too.

I work in a different school now & other than 3 or 4 people I know nobodys last names, they weren't told to me.lol I work directly with 1 child & we aren't in a class most of the time so it doesn't come up often anyhow.
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#10 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 12:08 PM
 
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I have more of a casual relationship with dd2's preschool teacher, since both girls have gone to preschool with her, I was on the board of the school, and I volunteered for EVERYTHING! I call her by her first name. I call dd1's new K teacher Mrs. Lastname right now.

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#11 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 02:18 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by suabel View Post
I'll answer as a teacher--I'm totally comfortable with parents calling me by first name in conferences, phone calls, emails, etc. In front of the kids I prefer to model Mrs. ____.
This is why I never take teachers up on their offer to call them by their firstname.

It's not like swear words, I can't turn off the name I call you depending on who else is in the room.

It's Mrs/Mr Lastname all the way for me.
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#12 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 03:36 PM
 
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It's always Mrs. Lastname around my kid.

In emails, phone calls, I usually call them by their first name, but all of ds's teachers I know personally (not just from school), so it feels weird to call them Mrs. Lastname in a regular conversation.
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#13 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 06:21 PM
 
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Last year I always used Mrs. Last Name for dd's teacher. The librarian and office admin were Miss First Name (not sure why). This year (new school) it is first name only, used by kids and adults.

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#14 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 06:37 PM
 
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I call them what ever the kids call them in most cases Miss whatever(usually last name).
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#15 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 06:38 PM
 
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Our preschool and elementary teachers go by their first name, so my kids call them Ms./Miss XYZ. I usually do the same, but sometimes when I'm talking to them away from the children I just use their first name.

I have two friends who I actually met because they were my doctor (well, one is a vet! LOL!) and for the longest time I had such a hard time not calling them Dr. XYZ.

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#16 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 06:57 PM
 
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I always refer to DS's classroom teacher as Mrs./Mr _____. It's weird though because I hate being referred to that way so I always say, "Call me Lisa."

With the librarian I use her first name, but we are more friends/colleagues than parent/teacher if that makes sense. I volunteer with her in the library and it would just seem weird to be so formal all the time.
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#17 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 07:02 PM
 
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I use their first names when DS isn't around, if I can remember them. It's how they address stuff they send home for me.

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#18 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 07:31 PM
 
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DD's kindy teacher last year signed her name Mrs. X. It was only her 2d or 3d year teaching and she had gotten married over the summer, so I think she was really into being Mrs. X. I heard on field trips she wanted the parents to call her Mrs X. But I never went on any. This years teacher signs her name like a normal person First Last or she just signs her first initial. After last years habit, I address the notes to Mrs Y, but I don't think she'd care.

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#19 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 07:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Porcelain Interior View Post
It's not like swear words, I can't turn off the name I call you depending on who else is in the room.

It's Mrs/Mr Lastname all the way for me.
I'm the same way! People can have only one name for me, so my kids' teachers are Mrs/Ms/Miss/Mr Lastname.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#20 of 29 Old 09-12-2009, 07:37 PM
 
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I call her what DD calls her, Mrs. Lastname. By force of habit I do that in our 1:1 contacts, too.

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#21 of 29 Old 09-13-2009, 12:18 AM
 
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Ack, I stewed about this last year. I would prefer that in front of my child, I say Mrs Lastname, while face-to-face, I say Firstname. And I would manage that. But I asked directly and the teacher said she preferred Mrs. Lastname. So, fine. But, when I volunteered in the classroom, my DS introduced me as "My Mom, Firstname". So all the kids called me Firstname, though professionally, obviously, I am Professor Lastname.

I am not a formal person so I would have felt more comfortable with first names with the teacher, but after a few weeks, I got used to it and it stopped bugging me. It DOES bug me with my doctor and dentist, who call me Firstname, while I call them Dr. Lastname, but I haven't had the guts to do anything about that yet, LOL.
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#22 of 29 Old 09-13-2009, 09:58 AM
 
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I start out calling everyone Mrs. Lastname. Last year I started calling dd1's teacher by her first name but only because we were beginning a different sort of relationship- I started babysitting for her. We're now friends and I call her by her first name, but my dd still calls her Mrs. Lastname and that's how I talk about her to my dd.

My dd2's teacher called me by my first name the other day so I don't know what will end up happening there. I don't mind calling them Mrs. Lastname but I prefer people calling me by my first name.
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#23 of 29 Old 09-13-2009, 11:38 AM
 
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Everyone at both schools my kids attend (3rd, 7th, 9th) is on a first name basis, including kids, dean, principle, head of school, etc.
Other schools in town have different norms.
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#24 of 29 Old 09-13-2009, 01:28 PM
 
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I tend to call the teacher Mr./Mrs. Lastname, which is how my DD addresses them. However, when a teacher says, "You can call me Firstname," I do that in one-on-one situations. Mostly, though, I use the more formal address in front of students, including my DD outside of school. Same with the principal.

Ironically, though, DD's K teacher invited me to call her by her first name, but I never did. She struck me as a formal person and I just always called her Miss Lastname. The principal for the first two years was also a very formal person and she never invited the first name thing. The rest fall under what I said above.

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#25 of 29 Old 09-13-2009, 11:09 PM
 
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I always use first names but we have a small rural school and this is common here. The exception is if I am writing a note to the teacher that my child is hand carrying. Then I will use the formal title.

 
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#26 of 29 Old 09-14-2009, 10:23 AM
 
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I'm a little different because DH works where my kids go to school so I know most of the teachers pretty well. I would feel so awkward not calling them by their first name. I do use Mr. and Ms. at school when talking to my children but first name when talking to DH. It just depends on the situation.

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#27 of 29 Old 09-14-2009, 03:45 PM
 
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I call them by their first names- always- as i think its important to show my child that the teacher and i are on the same level and she does not hold all the power. should the teacher and i disagree on something, or should our family do things differently i think it' s important dd recognize that the teacher's opinion is not the end all be all (this has not been a problem yet, but still)
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#28 of 29 Old 09-14-2009, 06:20 PM
 
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I'm a teacher, and I don't care one way or the other. In my tiny school some support staff go by first name (I don't know why there is any distinction there and I think it's odd) and there are lots of close friendly relationships between teachers and families, so sometimes even kids call teachers by their first name outside of school. I always think it sounds a little funny when an adult calls me Mrs. ___ to my face because I'm personally not used to it. I also teach middle school, so I don't care if people call me Amy around the kids. They understand the distinction, even if I think it's a little silly. If there weren't the societal expectations of how kids address teachers, I'd rather they just called me Amy!
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#29 of 29 Old 09-15-2009, 12:25 PM
 
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We live in a small town where the chance of running into a teacher outside of school is very high. In school and at school functions I call them all Mr/s Lastname. Outside of school (soccer, grocery store, etc) I use first names, but I expect the kids to use Mr/s Lastname as they would any other adult outside of close friends and family. The teachers all do the same.

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