Can I get some suggestions for my 4th grader? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 02-11-2004, 02:58 PM - Thread Starter
lab
 
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My ds is an awesome student and makes a's. He is in the gifted program for reading in school and reads and comprehends on a 7th grade level. He is regular math this year, but was in the gifted program last year for math and maintained an A all year....

Lately in school, his teacher has been sending notes home regarding his behavior and I'm at a loss as to what to do.......
He makes noises and can't seem to stop. This was a problem in the beginning of the year and I explained to his teacher that he was probably bored, given that the first month is a review.

He teacher is very supportive and kind, but today she asked me to talk to him again! I've talked to him repeatedly and have tried to figure out why he is doing this.......

I feel like he may be trying to impress some of the other kids. He has always been very astute and serious and he may be trying to fit in? He did say he likes to make the other kids laugh.... Not totally sure this is it OR He may just be bored.

My question is - Why the noises? Yesterday he was hollering across the class at another child WHILE the teacher was giving instruction?

Any suggestions or help would be appreciated! Thanks!

lisa

Trying to do the right thing with three kids and a hubby. 
ds20, dd18, ds17
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#2 of 4 Old 02-11-2004, 03:56 PM
 
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Is it possible for you to observe him in class without him knowing you're there? Seeing the circumstances first hand should give you a better idea exactly what's going on. That would be the first thing I would do.
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#3 of 4 Old 02-12-2004, 12:03 AM
 
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I am curious what is going on for him socially, besides the academics. Sometimes a child who is brighter than the others feels a need to "dumb down" to fit in, because the other students know he's smarter, etc. I have seen an increase this year with my 3rd grade boy with behavior that looks like "boys aren't supposed to be smart or love learning," and I"m trying to nip it in the bud. Also, does your son have any related issues with impulse control or acting inappropriately in other settings? Just wondering is it is confined to school, or sometimes at hom (example, my son acts terribly in front of company, usually because he's feeling nervous and awkward and lacks the social skills to act 'normal' )

 
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#4 of 4 Old 02-12-2004, 10:29 AM - Thread Starter
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Thanks so much for the thoughtful responses.

I would love to be able to observe the class. His teacher would be very open to it as well. The problem is that he is in a trailer and I don't know how I could get in and be secretive. Maybe he would 'forget' I was there after a while. I will for sure talk to his teacher about this.

I think you have a great point lauren! I noticed that this 'goofy' behavior started in third grade. He has told me several times that he wants to make people laugh. He did go through a stage at 6 or 7 where he would 'show out' when his friends were around. He would also act up when I had friends over. I can see exactly what you mean by feeling nervous and awkward and not knowing how to act normal. We did talk about that and he worked on it (by that I mean worked on talking about how he felt). He doesn't have any problem with impulse control at all. He never has. As a matter of fact, he has always been the polar opposite of that. That is why I am so shocked at this behavior.

Socially he is fine. According to his teacher (I have addressed this with her before) he is well liked by the other students.

I really appreciate the feedback. You know, it could be something as simple as not getting a recess until 1 pm! Who knows! I'm just at a loss. He has always been such a pleaser!

I will keep my eyes and ears open! Any other help is welcome!

Thanks ladies!

lisa

Trying to do the right thing with three kids and a hubby. 
ds20, dd18, ds17
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