If your kid lost a coat on a field trip, would you blame the teacher? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 68 Old 10-28-2009, 09:53 PM
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No, def not.
The kids were asked if they had their stuff, there were no coats left in the bin. I'm not seeing how it's anyone's fault but the kid's. And maybe the parents for not marking their kid's stuff.
What do they expect you to do? Write a spreadsheet of what each kid wears and takes off and has in their pockets? And I don't think you should have apologized either, but it was nice of you to do it.

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#62 of 68 Old 10-30-2009, 11:23 AM
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You reminded the kids. You asked the kid did he wear a coat today. He said no. Were you supposed to say "no, I think you did... let's go look for it"? Of course not. You can't go looking for something that he just told you he didn't bring.

I don't have a home phone number for my kids' teachers. Maybe they're in the phone book and I could find them but that would be way out of line. I'd have sent an email the next day hoping it turned up and been mad at my kid for losing it.

I'd feel the same way if my kid misplaced a jacked on an outing with another family or with me. It's my job to give you a coat and give you appropriate ways/places to take care of it. It's your job to take care of it from there.

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#63 of 68 Old 10-30-2009, 11:52 AM
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Heck no, it's not the teacher's fault. Yes, sure, a teacher should take reasonable precautions, and put in place reasonable procedures for taking care of belongings. But if a child doesn't do what he's told, that's the child's fault. Yeah, there's a learning curve to this stuff. But that's how they learn-- by messing up, and then being held responsible. If the parent blames the teacher, where's the opportunity for the child to learn?

I do believe that at 7 or 8 a child can take care of personal belongings, even in a new environment, if some simple procedures are in place-- like having a box for coats. I would even hold a 5 year old responsible. Heck, my 2 1/2 year olds know how to put their coats and shoes in a designated place and retrieve them when they need them.

I think if parents expect very little of kids, kids will happily deliver. And teachers have a very hard job. And coats are expensive, so I'd come down hard on the kid, and dock allowance or birthday money to help pay for a new coat, and insist the child miss a cherished activity to go buy the new coat, which would certainly be a well-used coat from the Goodwill.

I used to be a classroom teacher. If a parent called me at home or on my cell phone, in a non-emergency situation (a lost coat is no emergency), they would be told firmly, "You can reach me at the school between 8 and 3. This is my home number."

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#64 of 68 Old 10-30-2009, 12:16 PM
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I have one child to look after and I've left things behind at the zoo, museum, movie theatre, etc. because I forgot the kid brought it with us.

On a field trip the only thing I expect the teacher to return to the school is my kid (and everyone elses too, of course).

The hoodies and jackets that go to school are the ones I got at the thrift store....anything that's detachable for any length of time, actually.

Nor am I going to harshly punish the kid.
I may make the kiddo backtrack all around to help look, but kids forget things...especially when their mind is on a special day out of school and around friends.
Heck, I had to backtrack around the other day to find my cell phone; I'm an adult and that phone is really expensive. Things happen.

I really don't think this was an issue they had a right to call you at home over...maybe called through the school or stopped by the school.
But, then, really, I don't believe they should put the onus on you!

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#65 of 68 Old 10-30-2009, 12:41 PM
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Once upon a time I interupted a teachers lunch over something small. Not my best moment Looking back on it, I realise that there had been several small things that built up and the last incident was the straw that broke the camels back.

Obviously, I regret my actions and think I should have conversed with the teacher earlier and in a more professional manner.

Op: is it possible they are having other school or class related issues and blew up over this? Often when people lose judgment and act inappropriately (calling someone at home over a coat!) it becise there is other stuff going on.

Of course - they could just be coat obsessed - but if a chance at dialogue opens up it might not hurt to ask if there are any issues they wish to discuss.

Good luck
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#66 of 68 Old 10-30-2009, 01:00 PM
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Absolutely not. I would not blame the teacher. That is way too much to expect of teacher. You've got your hands full already and have to keep track of 30 coats?
No way.
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#67 of 68 Old 10-30-2009, 01:04 PM
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And...all you can do is label the kids clothing, maybe a phone number and leave it at that.
My 8 yr old forgets clothing all the time and it's STILL not the teacher's fault/responsibility.
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#68 of 68 Old 10-30-2009, 03:38 PM
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No. It's up to my child to remember their belongings. My DD lost many things between the ages of 3 and 6 when in preschool/school. Most of it eventually turned up in the lost and found but sometimes it didn't.

I went on a field trip once with her kindergarten class and a child left a jacket behind and I happened to notice it and got it back to the child but I'm just that type of person. As a mom, I watch out for things like that, however, I wouldn't expect a teacher to keep up with her whole class and their belongings.

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19 y-o
12 y-o (private school)
5 y-o (home schooled)
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