Kindergarten confusion - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 02-17-2004, 01:16 PM - Thread Starter
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Hi! New here! my older son is 4.5 and he's been in Montessori since he was 1 (I was a single mom in college at that time). He's now in the morning preprimary class (8:30-11:30), the 5 days per week, not 3 (both are offered here as well as 5 days per week afternoons. I noticed from some posts not all Montessoris offer all of these options. THe 4 or 5 I've visited or my son has attended did.) Anyway, he's old enough for Kindergarten next year. I had a discussion with his Montessori instructor. She's WONDERFUL. I want to say that first. She has over 25 years experience as a Montessori instructor and was one of the people who helped get the program started in our little town 20 years ago.

She isn't sure whether my son is mature enough for Kindergarten, and I have to agree. She also doesn't think he would be as happy in Montessori Kindergarten, and has suggested I keep him in her morning preprimary next year, but instead of enrolling him in her afternoon K class, to have him go to public K in the afternoon. And if he proves to not be ready, we call pull him out of the afternoon class. I think this was good honest advice, but I guess I'm a little upset. My dh and 1 of his younger brothers (his parents ran out of money for private school by the time his youngest 2 were ready. LOL!) went to Montessori thru K and his parents, the boys, and I seem to all agree it was really good for them. Dh especially, since he's always been quiet and shy. And I HATED public school with a passion. I hated it so much I almost didn't go to college. SO, I wanted to keep my kids out of it as long as possible. Forever even if we could afford it.

So now, my son's teacher is telling me she doesn't think he'll do well in Montessori K because of his defiant personality. (I'm not offended by that description btw. It's VERY accurate and he gets it honestly--from me, I'm sorry to say. That's probably why I hated school so much. I hated being told what to do ALL the time! And more than anything, I hated being talked down to, which most teachers seem to do to kids.) She thinks he'll have too much trouble doing what he's supposed to when there are children doing other things in the same room. She thinks he'll conform in public school because EVERYONE will be doing the exact same thing at the same time. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm not sure if I want him to conform. I HATED conforming, and I became very quiet, shy and withdrawn. I think I'm still recovering from public school almost 10 years after graduating. I did well in college, though, and loved it (I have a B.S. in chemistry). Anybody been in a similar situation? Any thoughts or advice? Support of you have none of the above? LOL!

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#2 of 2 Old 02-18-2004, 12:23 AM
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Hi Wendy, thanks for joining us! I don't have any personal experience with Montessori, but I do have experience with a son with a strong spirit. I was quite worried about him when it came to k-garten, though I never considered not sending him because he was 5 1/2 and so academically ready. He did not always have an easy time, and he continued to express himself through his k-garten year. He did spend a good bit of time in the "think about it chair." He has had issues certain years with certain teachers (he is in 3rd grade now), but overall does well in school and doesn't have a big problem following the rules at this point. He does come home and 'vent' to me about how things are going and we try to problem solve! So, this only has something vaguely to do with your thread! There are lots of members around here that also know a lot about Montessori and can approach it from that perspective too!


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