Elementary School - Skipping school for minor reasons? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 04:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Do you ever have your kids skip school when they didnt have to? Have the school complained?

DD is in 2nd grade now and we dont skip school so much these days.

however when dd was in K and first - when she didnt really enjoy school we skipped school sometimes once a week or sometimes once in two weeks. but we skipped school sometimes on v. flimsy reason.

dd had a hard time in K and first. she hated how there wasnt much fun activities. yeah public school. so to help her i would take one day a week to do fun things. usually by about feb or march i would no longer have to take fun days off from school. maybe it would be once a month or once in two months.

sometimes dd went in for an hour or so. somedays not.

every single time her teacher was aware of why dd was missing school and they were v. supportive. in fact her first grade teacher actually encouraged it.

tomorrow i have class myself so i cant pick up my dd at 2 when she finishes. instead on my lunch break i am going to pick her up at 12:30 as she can attend class with me.

curious how many of you miss school.

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#2 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 05:06 AM
 
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Eh not so much here. This year the kids have been held out of school 3 times when not ill. Once was because it was immediately after the after-school live vaccinations, so I guess that was "health related" in some ways. The other 2 times they've missed have been when we've been going out of town. Last year we did take ds out of kindy for 4 days because we were going to Disney. I fully support a parents right to take their child out for a fun day or half day on occasion, or for an alternate activity that may be educational, or even just because the child is feeling overwhelmed and to give them a quiet day to regroup. As parents we have the right to do things like that imo. BUT on the flip side we also have the responsibility to do so wisely, to not overuse the right that we have, to be cognizent of the level of potential disruption our actions will have on the class and the teacher as well - not to mention the impact it will have on our child's education. Honestly I think one day every week sounds like an awful lot of missed school and missed learning opportunities and that would be too much for me personally to be comfortable with. However, if it worked/works for you AND the child AND the teacher, then that's your call.
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#3 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 05:09 AM
 
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My kids are 13, 9 and 6. I don't let them skip school unless they are sick. Can't think of another time except when family friends were getting married out of the country, and we had to take dd1 out of kindergarten a few hours early in order to make it across the border in time to make the wedding.
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#4 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 05:18 AM
 
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From K on up they only have 12 days a year they can miss and past that they can be held back or I can be taken to court so we dont have the luxury of missing a lot. I worry about every single absence because of that rule so I am very careful about when I keep them home or not. I would love to be able to with the kids though.

 
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#5 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 11:33 AM
 
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We do.

My son's in 2nd and we've skipped to take him snowboarding several times. The last time we skipped was right before Christmas and that was all my choice. He had a music program that we found out about 2 days before hand. I was so annoyed by that (this happens all the time) that I told him if he wanted to do the program, we would. If he didn't, he didn't have to. He didn't want to so we just kept him home that day. We also skipped school the day they were doing H1N1 shots.

The school has never said a word.
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#6 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 11:46 AM
 
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My kids find school easier when they are there most of the time. They homeschooled for years and years and started when they were older -- may be that makes a difference.

They've missed school when they are sick and when they have appointments like dentist or eye checks that I can't get at other times. The only other thing I've taken them out for was when their father became a US citizen!

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#7 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 11:55 AM
 
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my dd's in 1st and we have only taken her out a few times for leisure reasons. usually b/c dh works out of the country half the year so we do it right before he leaves so they can spend a day together. i don't like to do it though b/c her school has so much work and homework it's hard for her to catch up.
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#8 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 12:09 PM
 
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Not much. Last year my daughter had a bathroom accident at lunch or recess and they expected me bring clothes to the school and have her change unmm i was not going to let my daughter change into clean clothes and still smell like pee. I said i'd just take her home and the lady in the front office was rude about it saying how school is so important and how she needed to be at school.



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#9 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 12:31 PM
 
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My daughters (2nd grade and kindy) missed 2 days last week because I unexpectedly had to have a d&c for a missed miscarriage and I felt that I didn't want to have to see me so very sad (although they do know what is going on) so I sent them on an adventure to grandma's house and they had a wonderful, stress free vacation and I didn't worry about upsetting them. The school was very understanding and didn't say a word.
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#10 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 12:59 PM
 
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When my kids were in public school I got warning letters due to keeping ds home to much due to illness in K.I guess a note from me was not enough each time;I had to give a doctors note...whatever!

If we had taken personal days then I would have ended up in court!

I don't see anything wrong with keeping a child home if they slept poorly,or you need to go somewhere.If I kept my kids home every time they asked we would be home all the time!
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#11 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 02:15 PM
 
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We don't keep the kids home from school for any reasons other than illness.
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#12 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 02:31 PM
 
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I'm okay with them missing for non-sick reasons. It helps that they are in a Montessori program so they don't miss anything they can't do the next day. I might feel differently if they were older and in a regular class where they had to do make-up work or would miss projects/assignments/lectures.

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#13 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 03:07 PM
 
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When they were younger, we had the attitude that school could only be missed on rare occasions - illness and birthdays.

Now that they are teens, they have more control over whether they attend. It's funny, but for the past few years, I often suggest that they stay home from school if I hear complaints in the morning that they are tired or don't want to go because of they don't like a certain class. They've never once taken me up on the offer! They know that it means more work if they miss a day, so they decide to go on their own.
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#14 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 03:10 PM
 
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We take the kids out of school for travel several times a year. We ski a lot, but we don't live in the mountains, so we often have them miss a Friday or Monday and go skiing for three days. And I've let my older dd miss school just b/c she didn't want to go. Both of my kids are in elementary school, but next year my older dd starts middle school. Then we won't be able to take her out much b/c of homework, projects etc... But in elementary school, no problem. We are lucky that our school values family time, and feels it's as important as school.
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#15 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 03:37 PM
 
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I've let my son stay home because he needed a personal day to just chill. I've also let him stay home if the vet or farrier was coming to take care of the horses. He would have to write a paper for me on what he learned, those are life experiences you can't get at public school. I've never had a problem with the school about it, but he has never reached the max days he could miss either.
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#16 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 04:32 PM
 
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My kids will only miss school if they are sick, unless it is some thing really important. But they wouldn't want to skip it anyway, they love going. There are kids that do skip DS's school, but it is a private school and they don't seem overly concerned about "flimsy" reasons for not going to school. I know one boy that attends a special outdoor program every Wednesday, so never attends school then. There is a kid in DS's class that misses a lot of school, because it doesn't want to go.

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#17 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 04:54 PM
 
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My younger two sons (5 and 9) only miss school due to illness. My 10 year old gets a few hours off when we go to the doctors once every 3 months. His appointments are usually at about 10am, then we go for lunch then he goes to school for the afternoon. All three know jacob is the only one to get that special time as he is usually so in the background the rest of the time. He's the good, independent, quiet, undemanding child so I feel he deserves it.

none of them get a whole day off just because they don't want to go to school.
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#18 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 05:09 PM
 
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we miss school a lot

we're skipping to go to a museum next week

and starting next week DS will be out of school on Monday mornings for a swim class not affiliated with the school - I don't know if that's technically skipping - he does go to a public school and the principal is being supportive.

I LOVE having more control of his education and I am thrilled that our school is supporting us with this swim class thing. I don't have any issues keeping DS home for a family or other important activity.
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#19 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 05:38 PM
 
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Those of you that have kids that miss a lot what is the attendance policy there? It drives me nuts that they only get 12 days a year here excused or not.

 
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#20 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 05:45 PM
 
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20 years ago, my 5th grade teacher actually asked my mom if there was anything wrong since I'd been in school every day for two weeks straight.
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#21 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 06:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
Those of you that have kids that miss a lot what is the attendance policy there? It drives me nuts that they only get 12 days a year here excused or not.
here I think it's 11 days.

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#22 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 06:06 PM
 
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Those of you that have kids that miss a lot what is the attendance policy there? It drives me nuts that they only get 12 days a year here excused or not.
We get 10 excused absence (excused means you get credit for the make up work), 18 unexcused (no credit for make up work + counts toward truancy calculations). We also have the option for Planned Absences which are pre-approved by the principal, they do count towards truancy calculations but work can be made up.
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#23 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 06:08 PM
 
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Those of you that have kids that miss a lot what is the attendance policy there? It drives me nuts that they only get 12 days a year here excused or not.
I have no idea. We haven't missed THAT many days that I think they'd even worry.
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#24 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 06:16 PM
 
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I'd like to take my kids out, but it would mess up their equilibrium on doing school to begin with. Actually, I think my dd2 could handle it, but my dd1 would not be able to hang very well. We would miss for a Friday or Monday for a family vacation, but if I took them out to take them to the zoo or museum they would probably want it every time. DD1 had a lot of trouble adjusting to school (a lot of sep anxiety) so it's important to keep her going unless she's sick. I'd love to do the mental health days, though. I think it would be fine with our school, but probably not every week. I'm sure once a month or so would be fine.

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#25 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 06:59 PM
 
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I let DD1 stay home when she really needs to. Like last week, she had the heck of a time getting up in the morning, was really tired out. Not sick, just hadn't slept well, and really wanted to go back to bed. I said, baby, do you want to stay home, and she was so glad I offered. Went back to sleep for a few hours, woke up happy, and went back the next day feeling better. If I hadn't allowed it, she would have been a wreck until Saturday when she could make up the sleep she needed.

But we don't do it all that often. I did a lot of back-and-forth about sending her to school in the first place, because it's a full day kindy and too long a day for such a little one, but she loves it and is so happy there. I'm a homeschooling mama at heart, and only sent her because she wanted to go so much. I figure if she's unhappy or tired enough to need a day every two weeks, then it's too much for her, and I'd pull her out. But having decided to do school, she's got to be there every day, as much as possible. If we do half-measures, she's not going to be able to build relationships there and settle in.

So for us, I allow "mental health" days, but rarely. I wouldn't hesitate to pull her out though, if I had even the slightest feeling that she wasn't thriving there, or that being there was too much for her. Homeschooling is totally unregulated here in NJ, so there's no hoops to jump through, and she's not even at mandatory age yet.

I wonder what would happen if she missed too many days, and they tried to come after me about it, and I responded by pulling her out completely? Would they drop it, or pursue the issue?

I wouldn't hesitate to keep her home though for some enriching activity like a visit to a museum or something like that. I pulled her out for a half day in December to go see Santa at the mall, even. There's more to "education" than being in a classroom all day.

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#26 of 50 Old 01-13-2010, 07:03 PM
 
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Last year my middle dd missed 1 day of school due to a dr's appt in the city. My oldest missed .5 of a day due to being "sick". My youngest got an award for having missed no days.

this year my middle dd will miss 4 days for sure, 2 are for dr's appt(she missed the first day for one of them), the other 2 were for my brothers weddings. The other 2 will miss 2 for sure for my brothers wedding.

Most years they miss maybe 1 day.

ETA: they will all miss another 2 days in Feb when my oldest participates in the SK winter games. My youngest will most likely miss another .5 day for her Ballet exam in March.
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#27 of 50 Old 01-14-2010, 02:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have no idea what the attendance policy of our school is. it doesnt specifically say how many days. but it does say money depends on attendance so if they miss 'too much' then the family will receive a warning letter.

well on many days i take dd in for an hour or so - so by the district standard it doesnt count as absense and then take her out after 9 pm.

i dont know how many days she missed in first grade. quite a few. the school didnt say anything. her teacher was concerned what was going on so i explained. we used to go to the library or museum or movies or the park. she approved. dd makes up the work and it doesnt get her behind in class missing 'lecture' so no one has ever said anything.

in fact sometimes when i take dd out half day because she was going on one of my field trips from school, the school actually approved.

but those off days really helped my non structured child fit into school. it actually helped her adjust to school.

i find that interesting that more kids dont want mental breaks from school. even with fun activities dd never wanted to keep on doing that. of course she also knew i had to go to school so i couldnt do it every day. so she never asked.

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#28 of 50 Old 01-14-2010, 02:12 AM
 
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My DD has so many problems being behind grade level wise I wouldn't let her skip school unless it was for very good reason like being sick. I did let her take a day off to go to Disneyland on a day during thanksgiving week... since it was mine and DH's vacation. Also the 3rd day of school, on a friday I didn't take her to school because of a camping trip we had planned before I knew what the first day of school was....... typically school always starts for us AFTER labor day...... this last year it started before labor day. Those are the only reasons considering she really struggles in school already.
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#29 of 50 Old 01-14-2010, 04:36 PM
 
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I wonder what would happen if she missed too many days, and they tried to come after me about it, and I responded by pulling her out completely? Would they drop it, or pursue the issue?
They might persue it, depending if they have a law about mandatory investigations for truancy. (My state has such a law, a response to a few incidences of severe abuse where the kids fell through the cracks and their extended and growing absences from school were not followed up on) If that is the reason for the law, then if you're confronted and then pull your kids, I don't see how they WOULDN'T investigate after that.
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#30 of 50 Old 01-14-2010, 04:45 PM
 
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We skip for minor reasons. I pulled DD1 out at lunch last week to go swimming. It was her birthday, but we've pulled her out on other days just because. No one cares. Last week as I was getting her from the lunchroom, the director came up and told us to have fun. It is a small private school, and most of the parents do similar things. It isn't uncommon to have kids pulled out to go hiking, skiing in the winter, one family is quite wealthy and goes to Mexico once a month for several days. Dh is talking about letting her skip a day next week and they will go snowboarding instead. It is abigger PIA reorganizing her therapy sessions when she misses. DD1 is dyslexic and has a therapist that works with her daily but then the therapist always takes some very nice trips herself and is cutting out one a day a week to go skiing right now (we live in a mountain town if you haven't noticed by now ) so I don't feel so bad.

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