Should I call the parents - possible bullying issue (Update #23) - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-24-2010, 05:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Emmeline II View Post
Not necessarily so. Ds has behavior issues bad enough that other parents have called the school. We have been working with the teacher all year long to improve his behavior in school. We know what ds can be like (though his behavior at home is now very good) and don't think that the school or other students are making things up; though sometimes there are extenuating circumstances.

Once ds got in trouble for touching "someone's butt"; what appeared to have happened is that he was pushing someone on the swing down by their rear and another child said "Ds is touching their BUTT!" Another time he got in trouble for kissing a classmate on the cheek two days in a row; I know this girl and that she is very "touchy," and believe ds when he said she asked him to kiss her; nonetheless we told him that hugs and kisses stay in the family and we don't use them at school.

There is a chance that the parents know what their child is like and are working on it or at a loss as to how to change the situation.
You sort of proved my point. I said the parents would believe their child, as you beleived yours (and that is the way it should be, for the most part).

I agree with your last paragraph - I think there is an excellent chance the parent knows stuff is up or is at a loss on how to handle it.

I have spoken to parents before on stuff that has happenned - but it is usually a clarification thing.

I have never seen another child change a behaviour pattern, though, over me simply talking to the parent.

All of this is moot, though....even though the OP did ask if she should talk to the parents - the solution (finders crossed!) is switching seats and switching schools.
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Old 03-27-2010, 09:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by kathymuggle View Post
You sort of proved my point. I said the parents would believe their child, as you beleived yours (and that is the way it should be, for the most part).
I think you missed mine. I didn't disbelieve the teacher--he did kiss the girl and he did touch her butt. I think there were mitigating circumstances, but he still did it and received ISS.

The type of parent the OP was being warned against was one who would believe the child despite contrary evidence because their child could do no wrong.

My son has frequently denied his behavior. His teacher said he deliberately walked up to her from a distance and stepped on her foot, ds says it was an accident when he was getting up from the floor; we believed the teacher as there is a big difference between the two circumstances and we do not see room for misinterpretation. Ds later admitted he was angry because she told him not to do something and he stepped on her foot on purpose.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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