alleged touching by teacher - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 9 Old 03-20-2010, 10:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
littletree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Midcoast Maine
Posts: 161
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I found out, as did our whole community, that a teacher at DDs school was arrested for allegedly touching three girls inappropriately. He's a fourth grade teacher and well respected. I know him out of school and am friendly his kids and both his wife and ex. I can't see him doing this but, argh! you never know! However the outcome, their life is ruined.

DD knows that he was arrested. A letter was sent home about the situation and the school is handling it well. I feel like I need to explain what happened by Monday when she goes back to school. I'd rather she heard it from me rather than rumors from kids. I'm not sure what to say without scaring her. She's very mature and sometimes I feel like I'm too honest. Any suggestions, this sucks.

mama to beautiful Sequoia
littletree is offline  
#2 of 9 Old 03-20-2010, 12:51 PM
 
Tigerchild's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Seattle Eastside
Posts: 5,006
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Did she read the letter that was sent home?

This might be a good time to reinforce that most kids who experience unwelcome and inappropriate touching have it happen from people they trust or love, which can make it very confusing an difficult to come forward. Kids who are able to do that should be seen as brave, and you always want to know if anyone has hurt or been appropriate with DD, even if she thinks that you might be sad or she feels confused about what happened.
Tigerchild is offline  
#3 of 9 Old 03-20-2010, 03:35 PM
 
je309's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 135
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Why the popcorn?

I agree with Tigerchild's advice. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this situation but I'm glad that the school is handling it well.

I hope that your talk with your dd goes well.
je309 is offline  
#4 of 9 Old 03-20-2010, 03:47 PM
 
Dabble's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,178
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post
I'm confused about the popcorn too.... ?????


OP, I think this is a real opportunity to talk about safety and what this person has been accused of doing, why that is wrong, and what she needs to do if she ever finds herself in such a situation.

Be sure to reinforce to her that if she hears something at school she is unsure about (which she will) she should come to you, and you will tell her the truth. It's really important that she knows that you can be relied upon to give her the facts so she knows what to believe.

Hugs to both of you.

CPST ***I can help keep your child safe in the car. Ask me a car seat question!***
Dabble is offline  
#5 of 9 Old 03-20-2010, 03:58 PM
 
jlutgendorf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,843
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
littletree, I'm sorry this is happening, I don't have any advice but I wanted to offer my sympathies to you and your family.

And I'm at the (lurk) smilie, it's inappropriate given the thread's content.
jlutgendorf is offline  
#6 of 9 Old 03-20-2010, 04:19 PM
 
TiredX2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: it appears to be a handbasket
Posts: 20,475
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by je309 View Post
Why the popcorn?
We're going through a very similar experience My children are older (8 &11) and it is very hard for me to determine the level of information I want to give them. On one hand I want to make them aware (and keep them safe), but on the other hand I don't want them to HATE the person (the charges haven't even been proven yet) or feel scared. kwim. Sorry if I freaked anyone out.

I was going to put some explanation before, but honestly, the topic is just so painful and disturbing right now it was hard to explain.

 

 

TiredX2 is offline  
#7 of 9 Old 03-20-2010, 04:36 PM
 
TiredX2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: it appears to be a handbasket
Posts: 20,475
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, just wanted to add (in addition to my PM'd message to the OP) that would have been much more appropriate than . Originally, though, I was *attempting* additional input given my current situation and just ended up hitting return after removing the input.

For future reference, though, remember that if a post seems "off" or concern worthy you can always report it using the "!" button. Moderators *love* when community members help out like that!

 

 

TiredX2 is offline  
#8 of 9 Old 03-21-2010, 12:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
littletree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Midcoast Maine
Posts: 161
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
She didn't read the letter. It didn't say why he was arrested but it will be in the paper on Wednesday.
Thanks for all the imput. I have the book Protecting the Gift and will refer to it before I talk with her. It's one of those things about life that just sucks to have to explain, a loss of innocence ya know? damn

mama to beautiful Sequoia
littletree is offline  
#9 of 9 Old 03-24-2010, 02:58 PM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,817
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post
We're going through a very similar experience My children are older (8 &11) and it is very hard for me to determine the level of information I want to give them. On one hand I want to make them aware (and keep them safe), but on the other hand I don't want them to HATE the person (the charges haven't even been proven yet) or feel scared. kwim. Sorry if I freaked anyone out.

I was going to put some explanation before, but honestly, the topic is just so painful and disturbing right now it was hard to explain.
At their age it may be easier as they may better understand that the accused is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law...maybe...

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off