alleged touching by teacher - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-20-2010, 11:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I found out, as did our whole community, that a teacher at DDs school was arrested for allegedly touching three girls inappropriately. He's a fourth grade teacher and well respected. I know him out of school and am friendly his kids and both his wife and ex. I can't see him doing this but, argh! you never know! However the outcome, their life is ruined.

DD knows that he was arrested. A letter was sent home about the situation and the school is handling it well. I feel like I need to explain what happened by Monday when she goes back to school. I'd rather she heard it from me rather than rumors from kids. I'm not sure what to say without scaring her. She's very mature and sometimes I feel like I'm too honest. Any suggestions, this sucks.

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Old 03-20-2010, 01:51 PM
 
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Did she read the letter that was sent home?

This might be a good time to reinforce that most kids who experience unwelcome and inappropriate touching have it happen from people they trust or love, which can make it very confusing an difficult to come forward. Kids who are able to do that should be seen as brave, and you always want to know if anyone has hurt or been appropriate with DD, even if she thinks that you might be sad or she feels confused about what happened.
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Old 03-20-2010, 04:35 PM
 
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Why the popcorn?

I agree with Tigerchild's advice. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this situation but I'm glad that the school is handling it well.

I hope that your talk with your dd goes well.
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Old 03-20-2010, 04:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post
I'm confused about the popcorn too.... ?????


OP, I think this is a real opportunity to talk about safety and what this person has been accused of doing, why that is wrong, and what she needs to do if she ever finds herself in such a situation.

Be sure to reinforce to her that if she hears something at school she is unsure about (which she will) she should come to you, and you will tell her the truth. It's really important that she knows that you can be relied upon to give her the facts so she knows what to believe.

Hugs to both of you.

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Old 03-20-2010, 04:58 PM
 
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littletree, I'm sorry this is happening, I don't have any advice but I wanted to offer my sympathies to you and your family.

And I'm at the (lurk) smilie, it's inappropriate given the thread's content.
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Old 03-20-2010, 05:19 PM
 
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Why the popcorn?
We're going through a very similar experience My children are older (8 &11) and it is very hard for me to determine the level of information I want to give them. On one hand I want to make them aware (and keep them safe), but on the other hand I don't want them to HATE the person (the charges haven't even been proven yet) or feel scared. kwim. Sorry if I freaked anyone out.

I was going to put some explanation before, but honestly, the topic is just so painful and disturbing right now it was hard to explain.

 

 

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Old 03-20-2010, 05:36 PM
 
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Oh, just wanted to add (in addition to my PM'd message to the OP) that would have been much more appropriate than . Originally, though, I was *attempting* additional input given my current situation and just ended up hitting return after removing the input.

For future reference, though, remember that if a post seems "off" or concern worthy you can always report it using the "!" button. Moderators *love* when community members help out like that!

 

 

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Old 03-21-2010, 01:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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She didn't read the letter. It didn't say why he was arrested but it will be in the paper on Wednesday.
Thanks for all the imput. I have the book Protecting the Gift and will refer to it before I talk with her. It's one of those things about life that just sucks to have to explain, a loss of innocence ya know? damn

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Old 03-24-2010, 03:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post
We're going through a very similar experience My children are older (8 &11) and it is very hard for me to determine the level of information I want to give them. On one hand I want to make them aware (and keep them safe), but on the other hand I don't want them to HATE the person (the charges haven't even been proven yet) or feel scared. kwim. Sorry if I freaked anyone out.

I was going to put some explanation before, but honestly, the topic is just so painful and disturbing right now it was hard to explain.
At their age it may be easier as they may better understand that the accused is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law...maybe...

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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