Teacher refusing to let ds have his snack? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 24 Old 05-13-2010, 04:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
SunshineJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: In transition
Posts: 1,837
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Our children go to a public school. Each day they have the opportunity for a snack, either one provided by the school that we pay for or one they bring from home. Overall complete junk food is discouraged. There is no district or school policy on what can be brought in however. If a parent wanted to send in cupcakes every day for snack, it's not against any policy.

Normally when the kids take their snack I send something like baby carrots, fruit, possibly yogurt - overall pretty decent stuff. Earlier this week DH picked up a package of Oreo's. This is something that is a HUGE treat in our house, as we seldom allow them. For snack on Tuesday, I sent DS grapes and 2 Oreo cookies. His teacher refused to allow him to eat the Oreo's because they weren't a "healthy food". Again there is NO policy to this effect whatsoever. Thankfully he had the grapes as well so he didn't get too hungry.

Thoughts?
SunshineJ is offline  
#2 of 24 Old 05-13-2010, 04:34 PM
 
elmh23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Where it's hot!
Posts: 9,359
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Talk to her and get a clarification on what the actual policy says. You never know, they might have added it to official school policy and are now "targetting" those who haven't been following the suggestion all along.

Mama of three.
 
elmh23 is offline  
#3 of 24 Old 05-13-2010, 05:12 PM
 
MattBronsil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,350
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm guessing a thank you note to the teacher for trying to create a healthy environment is out of the question?
MattBronsil is offline  
#4 of 24 Old 05-13-2010, 06:39 PM
 
blessedwithboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,598
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
i would be upset that it was sprung on me, but otherwise thrilled to have a health-minded teacher. (see my thread on wellness) that said, i do pack cookies for my kids, usually gorilla cookies, newmans own, or homemade, but man, i love me some oreos when they arent around!

Bring back the old MDC
blessedwithboys is offline  
#5 of 24 Old 05-13-2010, 06:45 PM
 
Katielady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Living in a van down by the river
Posts: 2,048
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't think it was right of the teacher- if she had a problem with the snack you packed, she should have spoken with YOU about it later, not essentially punished your son by taking it away and leaving him with half a snack.

As for response, what's done is done, so I'd focus on the future. I'd call and ask for clarification on the snack policy so future snacks are OK. And part of that policy should include what happens if a parent sends a not-OK snack.

ETA: Who's to say what's considered healthy? I sent a homemade mini muffin for my son today with his lunch; it had lots of whole grain in it but also had chocolate chips. Would that pass muster with the teacher? What about a newman's cookie? If they're going to take stuff away they need to be really clear about what's allowed and what isn't, so you're not forced to guess.

SAHM to 6.5yo DS and 4yo DD. PCOS with two early m/cs. Married 8 yrs. Certified birth doula, writer, editor.

Some stuff I like: hbac.gifteapot2.GIFeat.gifnocirc.gifbftoddler.giffemalesling.GIFcrochetsmilie.gif read.gifcat.gif

Katielady is offline  
#6 of 24 Old 05-13-2010, 11:06 PM
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Kingston, NY
Posts: 1,011
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MattBronsil View Post
I'm guessing a thank you note to the teacher for trying to create a healthy environment is out of the question?


It's not for the teacher to decide, IMO. I don't think it should be school policy at all what gets brought from home, unless allergies are in play.

But yeah, I'd get some clarification. If they're going to be censoring snacks (and potentially making your son feel bad), I would want as much information as possible.
BetsyNY is offline  
#7 of 24 Old 05-13-2010, 11:08 PM
 
AFWife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by BetsyNY View Post


It's not for the teacher to decide, IMO. I don't think it should be school policy at all what gets brought from home, unless allergies are in play.

But yeah, I'd get some clarification. If they're going to be censoring snacks (and potentially making your son feel bad), I would want as much information as possible.
I agree with this...

And yes, get IN WRITING the "policy" she's using so you know for the future.

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
AFWife is offline  
#8 of 24 Old 05-14-2010, 12:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
SunshineJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: In transition
Posts: 1,837
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by blessedwithboys View Post
i would be upset that it was sprung on me, but otherwise thrilled to have a health-minded teacher. (see my thread on wellness) that said, i do pack cookies for my kids, usually gorilla cookies, newmans own, or homemade, but man, i love me some oreos when they arent around!
Keep in mind that all but the homemade ones you mentioned (and possibly those? I don't know) would also be disallowed by ds's teacher. Honestly DH and I are a little peeved at the whole thing. This is not a policy by the school, just one teacher's opinion on what she believes to be healthy for the kids to have as a snack (I'm assuming that she doesn't disallow the Kellog's cereal bars, the Pillsbury strudel stufff, etc. that is served during snack time by the school cafeteria, as she'd face ramifications for that). DD was sent to her class with the same snack that day and was allowed to eat the Oreo's without any issues.

I completely support healthier options being provided by the school for kids to eat, but really at the end of the day if I, as a parent, believe that my child is better off for having grapes AND Oreos for snack every day, well, barring school policy (that I would presumably agree with if I sent my child to that school), then that should be my call to make. I have a hard time thinking I should thank someone who wants to take the right of those decisions from me tbh. DH was pretty angry about it, I'm annoyed. However, with 3 weeks of school left, I'm hesitant to make waves, except DD may well have the same teacher next year. I'm sending an e-mail to her to ask for clarification. It's possible DS misunderstood (though he's pretty good about things like that) or that things happened differently than presented, so I want to know exactly what's going on before I say anything about it. I was curious what others thought about this one as well.
SunshineJ is offline  
#9 of 24 Old 05-14-2010, 12:06 AM
 
bugginsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 227
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, you said that junk food is discouraged. Have they ever put this in wriitng? Our school has a healthy snack policy and if you bring junk food like cookies (of any brand!) you have to save them for home or lunch time; classroom snacks are suppossed to be healthy. While I can see how disappointed your son might have been, I can also see that it could be hard for the rest of the class who did bring healthy snacks as well as your child who is not getting his usual healthy snack to maintain focus for classwork. I would actually be thrilled that my child's teacher was keeping an eye on the nutrition of his/her students.

Also, there is a difference between what is packed as part of a healthy lunch versus classroom snacks.

mom to the amazing one 10/04 the wife 10/01
bugginsmom is offline  
#10 of 24 Old 05-14-2010, 12:32 AM
 
One_Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 4,735
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 35 Post(s)
That must have been so frustrating for him. I still remember my third grade health nut teacher wiping our sugar off of our bread at breakfast and being so mad about it because it was really not her call to make. The cafeteria served bread and we were allowed one packet of sugar (the only sugar we got except on birthdays) and it infuriated me to lose something that it was fine for me to have. My mother was also mad about it because she always had the mama bear thing when someone treated us unjustly. Since it is so late in the year I think you should call her and recommend that she put her policy in writing if she isn't following the school districts lack of policy and not send anything else in like that. Hopefully next year you will have a teacher who respects parents rights to choose foods that fit in the schools guidelines.
One_Girl is offline  
#11 of 24 Old 05-14-2010, 07:52 AM
 
Katielady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Living in a van down by the river
Posts: 2,048
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Phone is much better than email for anything that may become confrontational. Email gets nasty so quickly, and you can't read tone as well.

SAHM to 6.5yo DS and 4yo DD. PCOS with two early m/cs. Married 8 yrs. Certified birth doula, writer, editor.

Some stuff I like: hbac.gifteapot2.GIFeat.gifnocirc.gifbftoddler.giffemalesling.GIFcrochetsmilie.gif read.gifcat.gif

Katielady is offline  
#12 of 24 Old 05-14-2010, 09:16 AM
 
crunchy_mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 6,501
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by One_Girl View Post
Since it is so late in the year I think you should call her and recommend that she put her policy in writing if she isn't following the school districts lack of policy and not send anything else in like that.
Yes, this. I am sort of torn on this issue because yes, parents should have total rights WRT what they send with their kids BUT the teacher is the one that has to deal with hyperactivity or lack of focus or simply other kids wanting a non-healthy snack. BUT, I'm sure as a parent you know how your kid reacts to Oreos & wouldn't send them if you thought he'd become hyper or whatever. Plus I'm sure you also balanced the Oreos with what he would eat the rest of the day. I think what it really comes down to is the lack of a written policy. If the teacher isn't comfortable with Oreos, she needs to outline very clearly exactly what foods are acceptable & unacceptable for snack time. If there is no policy, it's not appropriate for her to make one up on the spot just because she has something against Oreos, and it's also not appropriate for her to allow your DS to go hungry because he only has half a snack.

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
crunchy_mommy is offline  
#13 of 24 Old 05-14-2010, 09:35 AM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MattBronsil View Post
I'm guessing a thank you note to the teacher for trying to create a healthy environment is out of the question?
Yes, because the teacher should have an overall awareness of the child's usual snacks and be able to recognize when TWO cookies are an occasional treat. An appropriate response would've been "it's fun to have cookies sometimes "

It's more upsetting for a kid who rarely gets cookies to not get to have the cookie they helped put in their bag for snack than for the kid who knows they can just go home and have another dozen.
sapphire_chan is offline  
#14 of 24 Old 05-14-2010, 11:31 AM
 
karlin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Rapid City, SD
Posts: 874
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My son has strong reactions to sugar (and especially HFCS), and I certainly wouldn't want to be his teacher after he consumed 2 oreos. I think it's perfectly reasonable for a teacher to request only healthy snacks, as she has to be the one to maintain discipline in her classroom. It's much easier when kids aren't on sugar highs or lows.
karlin is offline  
#15 of 24 Old 05-14-2010, 04:49 PM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
And yet the kids can get toaster strudels and kellogg's cereal bars in the cafeteria. If the kids were going to get hyperactive after sugar, the teacher would've figured out a way to bring those snacks up with the PTA.
sapphire_chan is offline  
#16 of 24 Old 05-14-2010, 06:33 PM
 
maxwill129's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 2,897
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So did the teacher tell you that she refused to let your DS eat the Oreos or did your DS tell you that? I found out this year that sometimes my DS's point of view on a situation is different than the teacher's. I'm not saying your DS lied...but sometimes what a child perceives to be true isn't true.

For an example, my DS told me that he got sent out of a reading group and had to go read with a peer instead because he was slowing down the group. What really happened was that my DS was struggling and the teacher saw he was getting embarrassed about it and had him go read with some other kids outside of the reading group. She didn't realize that by doing that that was equally embarrassing for him and that he took it as he was being "sent away". No big deal. Just two different perceptions on the situation.

I've learned from this year that if I have any questions about a situation I need to call and clarify with the teacher. Then if there really is an issue I can deal with it.
maxwill129 is offline  
#17 of 24 Old 05-14-2010, 07:07 PM
 
aprons_and_acorns's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: by the beautiful blue hills of WI
Posts: 3,395
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katielady View Post
If they're going to take stuff away they need to be really clear about what's allowed and what isn't, so you're not forced to guess.
Yes, this. And IMO if they are taking food away from the children they need to replace it with something acceptable so the child still gets a whole snack.

My Etsy Shop
Acorn Dolls~Wool Felt Crowns~Children's Craft Kits~Shooting Stars~Dancing Fairy Rings~Come On Over and Play!
aprons_and_acorns is offline  
#18 of 24 Old 05-14-2010, 07:09 PM
 
AFWife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by aprons_and_acorns View Post
Yes, this. And IMO if they are taking food away from the children they need to replace it with something acceptable so the child still gets a whole snack.
Another good point

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
AFWife is offline  
#19 of 24 Old 05-14-2010, 07:24 PM
 
bugginsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 227
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've been thinking about this a lot today and what it comes down to is what you consider a "treat" versus and actual "snack." Everyone I know considers cookies a treat. The OP stated that this is a "HUGE treat" to have oreos, so obviously she thinks that too. Perhaps the teacher was thinking along those same lines too and doesn't allow treats during snack time? Also, I'm curious if this is something the teacher regularly does with all students. If so, then I would assume that the child would know that this might/would happen and understand it is a classroom rule.

I do agree that the snack should be replaced with a healthy alternative by the teacher, but it does sound like the child had another healthy snack (grapes) with him so it's not like he went without a snack.

mom to the amazing one 10/04 the wife 10/01
bugginsmom is offline  
#20 of 24 Old 05-14-2010, 09:57 PM
 
aslyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 529
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We JUST dealt with this with DD, I bought a pack of pb crackers for her snacks at school and had been sending them in for a week..shes in 3 different classes (2 special ed and homeroom) and eats her snack at different times because of it. Well 1 of the special ed teachers has a student allergic to PB and told DD she wasnt allowed to have them in her class..instead of calling/sending a note home she told dd this for 3 days in a row. I called her and found out there was an allergy, but I was peeved that she didn't call ME to discuss it before she made my daughter upset, and now DD dislikes her and does NOT want to be in her class at all next year.


I think your DS teacher probably didn't realize that to him it was a punishment, just like my DD's teacher did not realize (at least thats my guess) that DD didn't really understand that she wasn't being yelled at because of her snack but the teacher had to protect the student with the allergy..though it does irk me that if there is a problem that she didnt address it with me as I buy/pack her snacks not DD, and that I have no way of knowing from day to day which class she will be in for snack time so her favorite snack is out.

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."- Kurt Cobain
aslyn is offline  
#21 of 24 Old 05-15-2010, 01:36 AM
 
peaceful_mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: #12 Grimmauld Place
Posts: 4,948
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
I would be ticked if I had not been provided with a list of "non-acceptable" snacks. Like you said, just a "healthy" guideline can be interpreted many ways. To you, he had a "healthy snack with a treat" To someone else, an oatmeal thing packaged as a "Breakfast Cookie" or a granola bar with chocolate chips might be a "healthy snack"
Somebody else might look at a chocolate-covered Kashi whole grain granola bar and see "junk."

So they need to be SPECIFIC. What is "healthy?" Does this definition, to the school, disqualify ALL cookies and pre-packaged cake treats? Is a Rice Krispie bar "healthy" because it is breakfast cereal? Can your kid bring a granola bar? What if it's covered in chocolate or contains chocolate chips? Is "Healthy" a definition limited specificially to fruits, vegetables, things like yogurt cups, and whole-grainish crackers? Heck, are you eliminating yogurt and pudding cups because they are "too messy" for eating in a carpeted classroom??

You need to know. And it needs to not be left to the discretion of individual teachers, because then you have confused parents and ticked-off siblings. (his sister didn't get HER cookies taken!)

Oh and if my child can't OCCASIONALLY bring oreos in a snack or a lunch from home, then they better NOT let me catch them serving toaster strudel things in the cafeteria!!

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), and one 13 wk (10/13) just your average :ha ng multigenerational living family!!
peaceful_mama is offline  
#22 of 24 Old 05-15-2010, 01:58 AM
 
eepster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: growing in the Garden State ............
Posts: 9,010
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would talk to the teacher. I would be most upset over the lack of warning, since the teacher never communicated that she had such a policy. I would also be very annoyed about the inconsistency of the policy, considering what the cafeteria serves.

Timmy's Mommy WARNINGyslexic typing with help of preschooler, beware of typos
eepster is offline  
#23 of 24 Old 05-15-2010, 04:44 AM
 
BCFD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: California
Posts: 1,761
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My child uses the Planet Box lunch box and I love that there is about a 2 inch x 2 inch spot for a sugary/bad-for-you treat. I have sent some pretty unhealthy things (literally it's the size for ONE bite of something), but the rest of her lunch (the 6x6 areas) always have healthy foods in them. I would be upset if my child's teacher took that away from her. However, every day they do require the actual snack to be healthy and sent home a chart/guidelines to follow at the beginning of the year. So, if snack that day was grapes and oreo's for the whole class I think the teacher would covertly replace the Oreo's with a box of graham crackers or something. Then she would probably mention that those types of snacks should be kept at home.

An incredibly thankful SAH Mommy to 3 fiendishly enchanting girls 11/04,10/05, & 12/06. 
 
BCFD is offline  
#24 of 24 Old 05-15-2010, 12:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
SunshineJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: In transition
Posts: 1,837
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ok I just checked the official district policy on the foods you can bring into the school. There is none. There is information on what can be served in the school (no soda machines, etc.) and a blurb about how they are committed to meeting the nutritional needs of the students, but the ONLY reference to food outside what is served by the school is that one of the district goals is to provide nutritional education to the families it serves. That's it. That's the entire policy on lunches, snacks, etc as it pertains to foods not provided by the school. When I say that "junk food is discouraged" I mean that at the start of the year the teacher for this class sent home an update page on the class and had a 3 sentence section encouraging parents to send healthy snacks to school. That's ALL that's been said about this issue the entire year. About once every 4-6 weeks I'll send a special snack that I know the kids will really enjoy. In the past it's been fruit rollups, cookies, a couple of Hershey's kisses with their snack, and chips. None of these have ever been an issue, and dd's teacher hasn't ever said anything about it whatsoever. While DS's teacher wouldn't let him eat the 2 Oreo's, she encourages parents to randomly bring in things like cupcakes as a surprise treat for the kids. I just really don't get it. Hopefully I'll have an answer next week.
SunshineJ is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off