What do you wish the teachers would know about your child? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 06-07-2010, 06:14 PM - Thread Starter
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I love reading this forum as a kindy teacher because I get a huge parent perspective. So if you had the opportunity what do you wish the teacher would know, or do? It doesn't have to be reasonable or politically correct.

For me as a parent of a child with special needs I wish the teacher would find more opportunities to praise my child. I also wish she would be very aware of the obstacles he needs to overcome and remove as many as she can. However, I know that in a class of 25 kids he is not the only one and he needs to learn how to deal and make better choices.

Ds - 2002 High Functioning Autism
Dd - 2004 6 going on 13
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#2 of 13 Old 06-07-2010, 08:31 PM
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My son does well with consistency and structure. He likes to know when things will happen and what the procedure is if directions are not followed. Letting him slide "just this once" isn't beneficial.

My son also hates it when people use that sing-songy voice that many early elementary teachers use. My daughter, otoh, responds better to that than to sternness. I would guess my son is in the minority there.

Just because dd is generally compliant doesn't mean it's okay to overlook her!

It's us: DH , DS ; DD ; and me . Also there's the . And the 3 . I . Oh, and .
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#3 of 13 Old 06-07-2010, 09:02 PM
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I wish teachers would realize that children will (for the most part) rise to the level of expectation.

If you allow bad behavior, not only will you get bad behavior but kids who don't typically act out may start to because they see others getting away with it.

I wish teachers understood that my kids like to have fun in the classroom as much as the next kid but that fun can be controlled fun. That order and discipline are not bad words. That when you have 20+ kids, order and control is a good thing.

I wish teachers understood how sensitive my kids are and that unkind children, aggressive behavior and chaos in the classroom that goes unchecked interferes with their ability to feel safe and learn.
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#4 of 13 Old 06-07-2010, 10:27 PM
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I wish my son's new teachers could understand that nurturing and being gentle, doesn't have to mean coddling. You can support, encourage, and even console an upset preschooler, without carrying them around and treating them like babies. There is a middle ground, and my very sensitive and loving 2 year old wishes you would find it.

Kat, wife to and mommy to (Dec 07).
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#5 of 13 Old 06-07-2010, 11:25 PM
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Inform parents of problems as they happen. Of the huge long list of discipline problems ds has had, I think we got two weeks (cumulative) of daily e-mails. The rest of the time we found out the rest after he had a VERY bad day.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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#6 of 13 Old 06-08-2010, 01:11 AM
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Ds2 will be going into first grade this year after having hs'ed for K, and I really would like his teacher to know that he is a very gentle soul who gets very disturbed by punishment, harshness, etc. He takes a little longer than usual to get his words out, but he's usually got something important to say and it really hurts his feelings when people don't listen to him.

I wish teachers would know that my older son, even though he is super outgoing and athletic and mr. funny guy, is also very sensitive and really wants to please them. If he does something "bad" it's because he didn't know it was bad, and embarassing him in front of the class will stay with him for a long time.
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#7 of 13 Old 06-08-2010, 03:31 AM
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I wish my dd's teacher had known that she was smart but she couldn't concentrate in a room that was so chaotic and unstructured. I wish teachers didn't make quick judgments about the quality of the parent based on the child's first week of school. My kid is clingy and nervous during her first week but that doesn't mean I baby her at home and need the school to bully her into growing up fast.
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#8 of 13 Old 06-08-2010, 11:20 AM
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We've been incredibly fortunate to have experienced mostly the "best of the best" when it comes to teachers. My kids will finish 8th and 4th grade in two weeks and have encountered so many wonderful teachers who earnestly understood them.

I wish that our middle school had a better handle on the substitute teachers they use. There have been some doosies including a been a married couple who have used their sub positions to sell personal religious and political beliefs with the kids no matter what subject they are supposed to be teaching.

I wish DD's show choir teacher could understand that you don't get to be "buddies" with your middle school students. Yes, she's a campus favorite but her class is unruly in and out of class. Many of the kids are nasty to those not in the class and she gossips right alongside them. I wish she understood that you can't add a performance 2 nights prior then grade kids down who can't attend. She can't decide to pull all the kids from their academic classes on a whim for a day without informing their parents OR the other teachers! I just wish she could take a page from the other arts teachers on campus who are incredibly professional and organized!

Otherwise, my kid's teachers have truely been fantastic.

Married mom, DD 18, DS 15, and a Valentine's surprise on the way!
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#9 of 13 Old 06-08-2010, 02:05 PM
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I hope that my son's teachers would see that he's capable, even though he's very quiet. I wish that they would find ways to push him outside his comfort zone. I wish that he would get as much attention as the kids who talk more and act out more. He's the quiet kid in class doing what he's supposed to be doing, and doesn't always get the attention he needs or deserves.

For our dd, I hope that her teachers will be able to see will see the sensitive spirit underneath her outgoing personality and her intellectual drive.

Really, what I hope is that teachers have the time to get to know each child as an individual, and nurture the best in each.

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#10 of 13 Old 06-09-2010, 12:15 PM
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I wish they didn't think of my daughter's need for more one on one attention as a bad thing.

I wish they wouldn't elementally punish my daughter for needing to use the bathroom during class time. * her class uses a card system and also what are called burbank bucks a fake dollar with a the schools bulldog mascot on them* if she doesn't have a burbank buck to give the teacher when she needs to use the bathroom she is made to pull her card going from green= good day to yellow= first warning.

I wish her homework was really modified to fit her needs, since last i checked the evaluation showed her math level at a kindergarten 9month level and anything above that would be very difficult for her. So how is just giving her a little less of the same homework as everyone else in her class, make her homework "modified to fit her needs "

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#11 of 13 Old 06-09-2010, 01:31 PM
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First, I wish that especially lower-elementary teachers would not cover every inch of wall space with a letter, number, map or something colorful. I have a hard time concentrating when talking w/the teacher!! My sensitive dd is even more distracted!!

Also, for Kindy, I think the teachers should really pay attention to where the child went to preK/preschool. My dd was at Waldorf, where they do not teach letter/letter sounds or numbers. So when my dd started Kindy, they felt she needed remedial help w/her letters. The reality of it was that she was never introduced the letters in the traditional Kindy format, nor was she ever "tested" on what she knew. She is very smart (now they think she may be gifted) and picked up the letters/sounds upon introduction, but almost ended in the remedial class b/c of the initial testing. If I hadn't explained the Waldorf philosophy this to the teacher she may have been pigeon-holed all year.

Also, dd is very careful and thoughtful w/her work. It often takes her more time to finish it b/c she is thinking through what she is doing and wants it to be perfect. Most of the other kids in the class fly through their work so they can go on w/the next thing. I question how much they "learn" doing that. The teacher was misinterpreting this as she was having difficulty with the work, which couldn't have been further from the truth.

Kids like mine need more time to exhaust the work they are doing. I find the Kindy schedule too chaotic at times. 20 minutes of math?? It takes my dd at least that long to make the transition TO math. I have told my dd that I would rather have a 1/2 way finished picture that's really good than a completed picture that has been thrown together. But, what my dd has learned that it is better to slap something together and complete it than to do her best work.

Married to love of my life! Children 6, 4 1/2, 2 1/2 and 4 months
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#12 of 13 Old 06-09-2010, 01:41 PM - Thread Starter
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CT_Mommy ~ when you only have 3 hours to teach reading, writing, math, social studies, and science things go super fast. There is no time to slow down.

Ds - 2002 High Functioning Autism
Dd - 2004 6 going on 13
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#13 of 13 Old 06-09-2010, 04:03 PM
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I wish DS's teacher would realize how smart DS is and find a way to challenge him. He has a very strong drive to be well behaved and a tendency to daydream. I suspect his teacher has absolutely no idea how bored he is or what he is capable of. We have asked for a teacher who can differentiate more next year and hopefully that will help.

But I want to second LynnS6. I would want the teacher to notice all the students and do her/his best to help them all learn to the best of their abilities.

My son should love school and I fear he is drifting away from that chance because he is being underchallenged.
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