She answers only to her husband who is the director of the entire home. Some of the things she said came directly out of his mouth, iykwim. But it was still her decision to tell students they do not have to do my assignments before consulting me.
I did tell her in our meeting that I feel she undermined my authority, and she said she feels bad about how it came out and will talk to the students about their rude behavior in my class, but to me, they just did what any child would do in this circumstance-- to me, it was her decision that was very wrong, not as much the children's. She also tried to turn it around and say that I undermined the school's authority!
(BC there is a policy about failing quizzes, that says if a student fails a quiz, they MUST show notes on the unit-- to me this in no way precludes any teacher from requiring notes to be taken and having weekly "notebook check." It certainly does not say this is the only circumstance under which notes should be taken, grrrr! And I know other teachers who require notes.) btw-- this is the part that came straight from her hubby-- he does this regularly-- find a way that he can twist what you did or said to be the same as what he did wrong. Oy.
To me, it's the same as one parent undercutting the other-- we have to show a united front and come to a decision between the adults, then present it to the children-- plain and simple.
I really do not want to leave here, but I guess I will see whether I get an apology w students present (unlikely). This is our home, community, my job, and seems like we'll lose everything.
And now I have guilt if I don't finish the year w these students... on the upside, other schools may still be hiring for this year...