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#1 of 25 Old 08-30-2010, 02:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My son's 5th grade class (small rpivate school 23 kids in class) are going on a 3 day 2 night overngiht field trip. Its "part of the curriculum" We live in europe and Im getting a lot of "you have to let them go" "it will be good for him" but Im kinda freakin. I dont really KNOW these teachers, they arent parents.....am I the only one whi thinks this is too young??
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#2 of 25 Old 08-30-2010, 02:06 AM
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I guess it depends on your kid. When I was in sixth grade, our class (more than 50 kids) flew to California for spring break. We stayed in a hotel with our teachers and parent-chaperones, and visited Six Flags, Disney, Universal Studios, Knott's Berry Farm, Sea World, etc. I don't remember anybody being homesick or neglected. It was a blast!
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#3 of 25 Old 08-30-2010, 02:15 AM
 
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My son's fourth grade class does a 3 day two night field trip near the end of the year. I'm nervous about it, but can't imagine not letting him go.
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#4 of 25 Old 08-30-2010, 02:30 AM
 
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I went off in 6th grade for a 5 day trip at a new school. DD1's school does one overnight a year, K-4 just does one night, 5-8 do more. I don't see 5th grade as being too young in general but for some kids it certainly may be.

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#5 of 25 Old 08-30-2010, 03:32 AM
 
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You just have to go with what you are comfortable with. My son's small Experiential Learning School went to Mesa Verde for 4 days/3 nights when he was in 3rd grade (2 classes of 15 3rd/4th graders). It's about 12 hours away and they had a great time.He had already gone camping in the fall of that year for 3 days/4 nights which they do in every grade starting in 3rd. Last year in 5th he went to Keystone, CO and went snowboarding for a week. He leaves on Wednesday for his fall trip and is really looking forward to it.
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#6 of 25 Old 08-30-2010, 04:26 AM
 
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I wouldn't say it's too young for every 5th grade child. In North America, a lot of children attend residential summer camps at age 8 or 9 for a week, or 2 or, 4 or even the entire summer.

It may be too young for some children though. If your son isn't ready, then you have to figure out how to deal with the trip. If he doesn't attend, and it's part of the curriculum, he may have to do extra assignments. If he is going to attend, how can you help him prepare? Has he stayed overnight with friends before? Can you arrange an overnight with a family member as practice? Can you go on the trip as a volunteer supervisor?

What does our son think about going on the trip?
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#7 of 25 Old 08-30-2010, 11:58 AM
 
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I know we aren't supposed to bring up old threads, so I hope I don't get dinged for this....

but if I remember right, there were a lot of issues with bullying at your son's school last year. Was that resolved?

Because on one hand, I think that for most kids that age, a couple of nights a way is a good thing, and a chance to have a lot of fun. On the other hand, I really need to trust the situation before I let my kids go off on their own. If the bully or the teachers you felt didn't handle it well are involved, I'd think twice about it.

(This was the age with one of my DD's started being gone a lot girl scout weekends, extended slumber parties, etc.)

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#8 of 25 Old 08-30-2010, 01:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I If he doesn't attend, and it's part of the curriculum, he may have to do extra assignments. If he is going to attend, how can you help him prepare? Has he stayed overnight with friends before? Can you arrange an overnight with a family member as practice? Can you go on the trip as a volunteer supervisor?

What does our son think about going on the trip?
No family and he has had 2 overnights and doesnt enjoy them. He stayed at my best friends house then. Parents arent allowed on the field trip (?) and he is nervous and doesnt want to go.
LINDA-great memory and yes this is part of the issue. Thanks for bringing that up!!!The boys have all had group therapy sessions and while the main perpetrator is still not pleasant, my son made some amazing NEW friends and feels better personally and really stays away from those 2 boys.(there are now 17 boys in his class!) The principal finally intervened when we threatened to leave and she did a great job when she did. Lukes apprehension is being away after all that last year and his best bud may not be going as he is severly asthmatic and his mom isnt comfortable with that.

He told me today "Mom, Im not like other boys. I dont like sleepovers and I dont like being away from you and staying up late." He asked if he could take melatonin
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#9 of 25 Old 08-30-2010, 01:26 PM
 
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my son made some amazing NEW friends and feels better personally and really stays away from those 2 boys.

I'm really glad to hear that!!!! It's so great that he has some new friends that things are overall better!

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#10 of 25 Old 08-30-2010, 03:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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THANK YOU so much. I was sooo emotionally exhasuted trying to make the school work. I had decided to pull him and then a miracle. In addition, he has matured a bit and was empowered enough to stand up.!! At the time, it was devastating, but he seems so much better. Still, he says he doesnt want to be put in that situation with kids he's not confidnet with...and we still cosleep as a family in the same room and he's jkust "not ready". Its a hard one...push him to sprout his wings or keep him close.
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#11 of 25 Old 08-30-2010, 04:52 PM
 
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if he doesn't want to go i wouldn't make him
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#12 of 25 Old 08-31-2010, 08:22 PM
 
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When I taught 6th grade we took about 90 of them to camp for 4 days 3 nights. It was awesome! Three of the four teachers on our team went. Two of us were parents ourselves. Although we wanted every kid to go, we understood that some just weren't ready for it.

The worst situations were when parents "made" a kid go who didn't want to. We then ended up with a sobbing and miserable child until the parent could pick him/her up. The camp was only about 1.5-2 hours away from where we taught so it was possible for parents to pick a student up.

If your son really doesn't want to go, let it be.
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#13 of 25 Old 08-31-2010, 11:04 PM
 
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My sixth grade did a camping trip that all the kids were excited about all year--all except for me. I couldn't even stay over my best friend's house, across the street, without her dad walking me home in the middle of the night. Needless to say, when my parents came home and said "Daddy won a trip to Europe at work, but you'd have to miss the camping trip. Would you mind?" I was elated! I say, don't make him go if he doesn't want to.

ETA: I might concoct some sort of story, though, to save face for him in front of his classmates.

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#14 of 25 Old 08-31-2010, 11:49 PM
 
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I think a 5th grade class doing an overnight field trip is fine. I also would think a parent holding a child out of said field trip over generalized anxiety about the child not being old enough and such would be doing their child a great disservice. I understand why people who thought that was what was going on, would encourage you to just let the child go.

However, I don't think that is what is going on hear. It doesn't sound like you trust the people who are doing the trip, and it sounds like you have real reasons. You also are respecting your DS's feelings in this.

Considering the circumstances, I would look for a good excuse to get out of this particular trip. I would also work with my DS to make it possible for him to go on future trips that he might really want to go on. Maybe camp outs in the backyard or some such to work on it gradually.

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#15 of 25 Old 09-01-2010, 12:32 AM
 
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Our public school district does this too for 5th graders. Our choice program (within the district) sends the 6th graders on a 3-4 day trip as well. They always want as many parent chaperones as they can get.

I'm a little surprised that there is no call for parent volunteers. Have you offered to go along to help chaperone (and fill out the necessary criminal background check paperwork, ect)? It might be fun.

If they absolutely won't allow parents even if you offer to pay your own way...I guess that would be a little strange to me. Around here they're always begging for more people to sign up to volunteer.
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#16 of 25 Old 09-01-2010, 12:58 AM
 
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disclaimer: my oldest is only 7 and we homeschool, but I saw this in new posts. I think it is very odd they will not allow parents. That would freak me out. If the child does not want to go I would not make him. If your husband (or any other adult)was supposed to go on a business trip, but did not want to, or felt like he shouldn't, no one would force them to. I think you are doing the right thing to listen to your child. OTOH I think 5th grade is too young for overnight out of town trips. I could see a sleepover at that age, but not a class trip to a hotel with only a handful of chaperones... but it would depend on each individual child. dd1 would do okay with something like that, so I would probably say yes for her... but me at that age... it wouldn't have been a good idea.

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#17 of 25 Old 09-01-2010, 01:13 AM
 
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If your husband (or any other adult)was supposed to go on a business trip, but did not want to, or felt like he shouldn't, no one would force them to.
Actually, I'm pretty sure that if my DH just decided to refuse to go on the occasional business trips to the warehouse, which he hates doing, his boss would fire him, or a least give him a poor review so he wouldn't get his annual raise. The program DH participated in for his college scholarship involved a camping trip. Though I suppose I could stop taking my dad to visit my non-driver sister out of state, it would really be hard on my dad.

Sometimes adults do need to go on trips they might not really want to. If an adult refuses to ever make such trips, it will effect their career options and may separate them from family.

This was why I suggested that the OP gradually work with her DS to make him more comfortable with taking trips.

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#18 of 25 Old 09-01-2010, 11:27 AM
 
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If your husband (or any other adult)was supposed to go on a business trip, but did not want to, or felt like he shouldn't, no one would force them to.
no, they might just fire them.

(That's not a reason to send a 5th grader off with adults who have a history of not listening to him, though).

I honestly don't know what I would do in the OP'ers shoes. I don't think it is too young for the trip, but there's a lot of history in the situation.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#19 of 25 Old 09-01-2010, 07:08 PM
 
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I think you have to do what you feel is best. Dd, in 2nd grade, went on an overnight for the first time and I had similar misgivings... however she had never stayed the night ANYWHERE but our bed or in my mom's (who even lives with us!). In 5th grade, they'll be going *ABROAD* on a week-long exchange trip. Gulp! I know where you're coming from, but I think it's good for them to spread their wings.
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#20 of 25 Old 09-03-2010, 08:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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WHile I have my concerns....these can be addressed by his fabulous new teacher! However, HE does not want to go...and for many reasons but mostly because "he's just not ready..." We just had his first sleepover last year with my closest friend and I just left my kids for the first time last SPring and that was with their dad. ( I went to a yoga conference for 3 days-it was HEAVEN) so, for HIM this is all just too much. We live overseas, have moved 6x in 10 years (BIG moves like from Va. to singapore to Bahrain to Germany!) so WE, his family, are his security and what makes everything ok for him. Im not going to force him at 10. I am encouraging him- there are fun things planned...but honoring his own inner voice and the trust we share.
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#21 of 25 Old 09-03-2010, 12:43 PM
 
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Im not going to force him at 10. I am encouraging him- there are fun things planned...but honoring his own inner voice and the trust we share.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#22 of 25 Old 09-03-2010, 12:46 PM
 
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Encourage him go. Does he have any good friends that will be going as well? Can you encourage a sleep over with that family before the field trip??

I do think European expectations may be different than the States--although I did go on an overnight field trips for school starting in 5th grade. Previously, I had gone overnight camping with Girl Scouts and to sleep away camp as well so for me, it wasn't an issue. I remember reading an article about a PreK class in France going on an overnight to England. The teacher said that only the American Moms had issues with it... and when her next child was old enough, she let him/her go.

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#23 of 25 Old 09-14-2010, 09:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just an update..Luke says he's 70% sure he's gonna go...then we found out he has LYME DISEASE..so now again he says he's not going. Im on my way to get help at Health and Healing...
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#24 of 25 Old 09-14-2010, 05:58 PM
 
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I do think European expectations may be different than the States--although I did go on an overnight field trips for school starting in 5th grade. Previously, I had gone overnight camping with Girl Scouts and to sleep away camp as well so for me, it wasn't an issue. I remember reading an article about a PreK class in France going on an overnight to England. The teacher said that only the American Moms had issues with it... and when her next child was old enough, she let him/her go.
The European expectations I grew up with: going away on a 5-day trip in early 3rd grade; I had been skipped a grade and was still 7. (It was Dec and there was snow on the ground - no way would I have done that as a teacher!). A year later, going away on a 7-day choir camp in spring (and I wasn't the youngest!) and another 5-day class trip in 4th grade in summer. And trips every year from 5th grade onwards. I had been badly bullied in both 3rd and 4th grades but funny enough, I have good memories of both trips; all the fun stuff we did and the different environment kinda seems to have put relationship issues into the background.
My mom went into conniptions when I came home from my first trip though: I had long thick hair that my mom used to braid for me and that I could not take care of myself yet, and no one thought of helping me. To give you an idea of what I looked like, after a few days the other kids started calling me "Witchy"...my mom thought she would have to cut it but managed to save it with an hour of combing. After which she always enlisted a "hair person" for those trips. Apparently I was expected to take care of it myself...

Which isn't to say that you should send a child that is afraid of going, even in Europe! But wouldn't having Lyme disease (if he doesn't have symptoms of course, just needs the heavy dose of antibiotics) be the perfect excuse for him if he wants to try going and needs a face-saving excuse for you to pick him up in case he hates it?

MeDH DS1 10/06 DD 08/10 DS2 10/12with SB and
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#25 of 25 Old 09-14-2010, 06:07 PM
 
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