Disagree with 1st grade "behavior modification/incentive" plan - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 35 Old 09-16-2010, 10:38 AM
 
blessedwithboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,559
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 19 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mackenzie View Post
Something that I have discussed with my kids (and you all may disagree and that is fine) is that there are somethings that happen in "establishments" (school, work etc..) that ultimately don't mean anything but you have to go along with and play the game. I waited until my older two were older (8+) before talking about this, but I had to do it last year with my youngest (he was in kindy) when he hated his home work because it was ridiculously easy for him and he felt it was pointless. They had a behavior system of smilies and letters but it came home every night. He initially was very concered because he would frequently get a T for talking (because he would finish his work and be bored.... see first gripe...lol) and he was afraid he would get in trouble at home for it. I had to let him know that unless it was extreme, I really didnt care. His teacher is responsible at school, and trusted her to handle things accordingly and I did not need to know every little wrong he committed. I told him I signed it because it made his teacher happy (playing the game) but that there would be no further consequences at home (provided it was not an extreme issue again)... He was fine with it after that. They all know that there are things that happen at school that I feel are a crock of $h!t and that we deal with simply because we must. They also know that if it is a big deal, I will take additional action but mama picks her battles to keep the school from hating her... =)
I love all of this!

Bring back the old MDC
blessedwithboys is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#32 of 35 Old 09-16-2010, 05:27 PM
 
stefka's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 392
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
From the perspective of a parent and a former teacher, I agree that I hate this system (and also admit that I have used it...) As a teacher educator, I can absolutely confirm that it is very unlikely the teacher is going to change her system due to a parent complaint. People get very attached to their management systems! I spend a year with student teachers, gently encouraging them to question their assumptions about what it means to "manage" a class, and demonstrating alternatives to traditional reward/ punishment based systems. They are wonderful, kind, committed people without exception, and in any given year maybe 25% of them end the year even vaguely considering an alternative. I think that's because for many (most?) teachers, their worst fear is the classroom getting out of control. And making a change to one's management system runs the very real risk of increasing chaos, at least temporarily!

My kid's (fabulous) teacher doesn't use a color chart, thank goodness, but she does do some other contingent rewards and things that aren't really what I think kids need. The best response I've found so far is to help my son understand that throughout life, different contexts will have different sets of rules. We follow them when we can, so that groups of people can live together without constant conflict. And when a rule is doing significant harm, then it is our responsibility to stand up for the person being harmed and to break the rule if necessary. For now, I don't think he's being significantly harmed by his teacher dropping marbles in a jar, so I go for harmony.
stefka is offline  
#33 of 35 Old 09-16-2010, 06:46 PM
 
IdentityCrisisMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 10,677
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 121 Post(s)
I skimmed through some of the responses and have a slightly different perspective or a few perspectives.

First, DC has been in a few schools (we pulled her out of one with a really poor reward system - because of the reward system!) and also because we moved a couple times. What I have found is that the reward systems and behavior in class do not seem to go hand in hand. BY FAR, the best behaved class DC has been in is one with NO reward/punishment system at all.

Second, I would not underestimate how influential your opinion may be. IF it is a school wide policy that has been effect for a long time, maybe you will have some problems but if not, I'd give it a try. At DC's current school they had a system where they withheld recess minutes. I was appalled and complained early in the year (I brought in a few articles to back up my opinion). In general I was happy with the school and left it at that. Turns out the school rethought the policy throughout the year and decided to do away with it the following year. I'm sure it wasn't just what I said but I'm sure that was a factor.

Good luck!!

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
IdentityCrisisMama is offline  
#34 of 35 Old 09-16-2010, 08:05 PM
 
lara1828's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 393
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by oceanbaby View Post
But, I also think it is unrealistic to think that there is any way around it in a typical classroom. You can talk to the teacher about the stress it causes your child, and see if she has any other solutions, but I have yet to see a classroom, public or private, that doesn't have some sort of reward/discipline plan.
Seriously? I only had a couple teachers in elementary school who used this type of system and, quite frankly, they were the poorest teachers. Most children naturally pay attention to a good teacher. I will always believe that these systems are signs of a poor teacher.
lara1828 is offline  
#35 of 35 Old 09-16-2010, 08:10 PM
 
IdentityCrisisMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 10,677
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 121 Post(s)
I agree, Lara. DC's current school has done away with their punishment and the kids are certainly do not behave worse. And, the single best behaved classroom I've seen had absolutely no reward/punishment. This is on two sides of the US as well.

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
IdentityCrisisMama is offline  
Reply

User Tag List



Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off