Originally Posted by LightToast
He does have a couple of special friends at school, but that doesn't seem to be enough of a good reason to look forward to going to school. I'm feeling sorry for him because he can't seem to find it worthwhile to go. But we are trudging along and taking it one day at a time
He's gone on play dates with friends outside of school as well and that just doesn't seem to be enough either. I sure wish I could be a fly on the wall at school and REALLY see how things are going because I really can't get how he has such an aversion to the environment.
As an outsider looking in, the people seem generally kind and professional. However, I cannot be certain of this because DS is so, so unhappy every single school day morning.
I find myself questioning all of this but can't pinpoint an answer. I've talked to some of the other moms and they have had similar experiences with their first graders not liking school. Does the resistance merely stop in successive years because they have just resigned themselves to the fact that school just isn't going to change for the better? I'm reminded of Elizabeth Kubler Ross and her stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
I sure hope this is not the case. I'm trying to remain optimistic during this marathon. He is such a smart, sweet kid. So where's the justification for all the woes? And what's it worth? I keep asking.
Those are really hard thoughts. I'm not sure we ever really get an answer to them either. It's very hard to find the right balance. Since you started this thread my son, who's 5 and has loved loved his Montessori for years, has started to have issues with it.
Working with the staff I think we've pinpointed that he's struggling with writing (not doing it, wanting
to do it), and because they're preparing them for grade 1 they are expected to write most if not all days. They don't make him write but then when he doesn't he's upset his book doesn't have words written in it. (Don't ask me, I don't get it either, but it's clearly extremely painful for my kid.)
It is really hard to know whether to back off or continue or what. The advantage I have that you don't is that I really really trust this staff to be caring with my son, so even if we err on either side it will be done with respect, and that will have to do. But boy is it hard.
I know a lot of people believe homeschool is the answer and maybe it is but...I'm not sure that kids would have any way to resist homeschool either if it weren't working, because it's their parents too. If that makes sense? Probably it doesn't, Fri afternoon and my brain is fried.
I do know one thing for myself and my personality and it is that I have almost never liked anything for the first 3-6 months of it. Every change in school/classroom, going to university, going to camp (was more like 3 weeks...out of 4), going to Italy, every job I've had - the first while has been torture. I have figured out that I'm the kind of person who hates not knowing
things. So any situation where I'm the new person, I just hate by default.
I'm really really glad that this hasn't stopped me from doing things. I don't feel that I went through denial and grief and all that, or that I do now. I just do not like that space of newness...but not enough to stop doing new things.
My parents were utterly clueless as to how torturous it was though and it would have made a world of difference to me if they had just listened and hugged me for it, you know?
Anyways that is rambly. I would myself try to pop in a bit, keep being caring and listening to him at home, and stay tuned in. I think if by November he were not at least starting to seem more at home I would, myself, start re-evaluating.