Son not doing well in public school - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 41 Old 10-14-2010, 11:31 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
OK, he's been officially moved into the 3rd grade, starting today.
Is this good? Is this a solution you are happy about?

I started to put a but I wasn't sure if that's how you were feeling about it.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#32 of 41 Old 10-14-2010, 12:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think he belongs in 3rd grade, but I'm not so sure that the transition at this time is a good thing. He should have been put into 3rd grade in September, and I told them that in June when I signed him up. I'm sorry I wasn't more forceful about it "Yes, I know he did well on the assessment tests that took half an hour, but I still don't think he can handle the sheer volume of 4th grade work for an entire day."

Heck, I should have made him repeat kindergarten (in a new school) instead of pushing him ahead to first grade when he was 4.75. He's been playing catch-up ever since. He did fine in 1st grade after his 6th birthday, and fine in 2nd grade after his 7th birthday. 3rd grade he was homeschooled so it didn't matter- we worked at his level, without much attention paid to "grade level" or what the rest of the 3rd graders were doing.

I think he belongs in 3rd grade and should have been there all along. He'll now learn cursive writing with the rest of the class instead of me having to teach him, on top of all his other work. The math and ELA will be less challenging, so he'll do better in those subjects, plus he won't use as much mental energy on them, making him more capable of paying attention in other subjects. He's now one of the oldest in the class, not one of the youngest, and he'll feel smarter compared to his peers (he's no longer "the stupid one" who can't keep up.)

But I'm nervous about the transition in the midlde of the school year. What will it do to his self-esteem if he has trouble in the younger grade? Will the other kids tease him for "failing" 4th grade? I'll know a lot more this afternoon when I hear how his first day went.

And I still have to locate this therapy putty. Should I break down and spend $15 with shipping for a $7.50 item, or keep trying to find it in a local store?

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19 (in Israel for another school year), Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 12(homeschooled)
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#33 of 41 Old 10-14-2010, 01:53 PM
 
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This is a recipe for therapy putty...no idea how good it is, but you can try:

http://www.ehow.com/way_5478794_ther...ty-recipe.html

I hope your son thrives in third; I also think it is possible that he will not be happy about the switch today, but may come to appreciate it as time goes on. Give it time.
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#34 of 41 Old 10-14-2010, 05:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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He came home from school very happy today!

Thanks for that recipe- I think I have all (both) the ingredients in the house, and I can make it later today or tomorrow.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19 (in Israel for another school year), Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 12(homeschooled)
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#35 of 41 Old 10-15-2010, 06:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
But I'm nervous about the transition in the midlde of the school year. What will it do to his self-esteem if he has trouble in the younger grade? Will the other kids tease him for "failing" 4th grade? I'll know a lot more this afternoon when I hear how his first day went.
I read along the thread w/o anything to add until just now. I'm not sure if this is your family's first year in PS, but in DC's school this time of the year is still very much "the beginning of the year".

We just had a child move from 3rd to 2nd and it seemed from the outside to be good timing and I don't think any of the kids thought much of it.

I can totally relate to feeling right about the original placement, but I think it's ok to do it this way - and also better than repeating the year within the school. But, even that doesn't seem to be as big a deal in DC's school as I remember it used to be when we were kids.

Anyway, I know your DS said he enjoyed his day and I'm glad. I think the kids may even think he's cool for having "made it into 4th" in the first place...maybe.

Good luck with the rest of the year.

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#36 of 41 Old 10-19-2010, 07:05 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
But I'm nervous about the transition in the midlde of the school year. What will it do to his self-esteem if he has trouble in the younger grade? Will the other kids tease him for "failing" 4th grade? I'll know a lot more this afternoon when I hear how his first day went.
He did not fail 4th grade. The school officials made a mistake,but ofcourse they were to (whats the word I am looking for???) arrogant(maybe) to admit they were wrong. Adults make mistakes.

Best wishes to him!
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#37 of 41 Old 10-19-2010, 09:26 AM
 
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Public schools just don't move very quickly. You sound like you are on the right track with pushing for the various meetings.

I agree a 504 plan is a good way to go. Get an "emergency version" in place asap that asks for a decreased work load for a certain amount of time. Then follow through with the school OT assessing him and starting some work.

Here are some of the things we had listed for my son's 504 plan:

Allowed to keep thera-putty in his desk (good for building hand and finger strength and for massaging hands when tired. The Autism Shop has some putty available that changes color with the warmth of your hand which makes my son want to use it. Or get one of those sand filled rubber balloons used for hand strengthening.

Allow writing to be broken up into 1/2 hour time blocks including tests.
(We didn't have this one, but it seems like it would be good for your son)

Adjust assignments to remove some writing. More short answer and less full sentences.

Allowed to use mechanical pencils (his grade is not normally allowed to use them but they help him relax his hand and not press too hard)

For larger writing assignments that can not be easily modified, have an assistant to whom he can dictate the initial ideas.

Fewer transitions from task to task. More independence to complete his work before being required to jump to a new task (this was the teacher's idea and it is working well although I haven't been able to see exactly how it is implemented).

Kris wife to Stew and mom to Joey 8/03 who cares for , 2 frogs and a worm
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#38 of 41 Old 10-19-2010, 10:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I know he didn't fail 4th grade, but I was worried his former classmates would see it that way. I had a lot of apprehension about his switch from 4th to 3rd grade, but the school handled it beautifully. The first day, his former 4th grade classmates kept asking him to come back to 4th grade, but now (half a week later) he's settled in and all the kids have quietly accepted that he's a 3rd grader now.

Since switching to 3rd grade, school has been everything I imagined it would be when I made the decision to stop homeschooling him. Instead of coming home every day angry and complaining of "The worst day EVER!!!", he's happy in school and excited to get there in the mornings.

I need to touch base with his new teacher and see how he's doing academically. I'm honestly not sure if he still needs any accomodations at all for his handwriting delay- it seems like he's been able to do the amount of writing required for 3rd grade. I anyway need to talk to her about the Halloween party (see my other thread.)

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19 (in Israel for another school year), Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 12(homeschooled)
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#39 of 41 Old 10-19-2010, 11:17 AM
 
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That's SO great to know he's happy where he is now!
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#40 of 41 Old 10-19-2010, 11:23 AM
 
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I'm so glad that things are going well for him!!!!

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#41 of 41 Old 10-19-2010, 02:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just spoke to his new teacher. He's doing GREAT and no longer needs any special help. He's able to keep up with 3rd grade writing, without any special help.

I really wish I'd been firmer back in June about putting him into 3rd grade to begin with, but then maybe he wouldn't have had the OT evaluate him and I wouldn't have the list of exercises to do with the putty I finally managed to make.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19 (in Israel for another school year), Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 12(homeschooled)
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